In the final part of our history of the Great Ice Lolly Wars, we look at the 1980s, with icy snack tie-ins to the likes of Star Trek The Motion Picture, Superman The Movie, and of course the original Star Wars trilogy, but also discover how yogurts turned into monsters!
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Sunday, 27 July 2025
HYPNOGORIA SUMMER SPECIAL 15 - It Came From Beyond the Chiller Cabinet Part III
Wednesday, 6 September 2017
THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT #23 - Once Upon a Time in Freezer Far Far Away...
Welcome once again dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Well, those little brats, I mean, all your little darlings are heading back to school, and hence summer is officially coming to a close. However before autumn begins we've just got time for one last delve in the chiller cabinets of days gone by for a last helping of ice lolly history!
Now then we'd been looking at the rise, fall and the rise again of the branded lolly, that is to say, those icy confections conjured up to bear the name of a popular franchise in the ever-desperate war to prise the pennies out of poppets' pockets everywhere. Now of course, in the late '70s came a property whose branding was legendary and unleashed wave after wave of must-have merch. I speak of course, of the hallowed first coming of Star Wars, that delirious time when while the Force might have been with you, the tie-in tat most definitely was!
George Lucas's homage to golden age SF, that space adventure that out flashed Gordon, didn't actually hit England until the start of 1978. But despite being in the depths of the British winter, Lyons Maid still rushed out a tie-in ice, and hence in February 1978, the Star Wars lolly was released. This was a chocolate iced lolly with a chocolate flavour coating (double choc, nice!) and topped with starry white sugar balls. An intergalactic space taste sensation that could be yours for a mere 10p!
But the magic didn't end there, for this lolly saw Lyons Maid wheeling out a gimmick that they had successfully deployed a couple of years earlier with their King Kong tie-in lolly. But this time said gimmick was bigger and better! For the Star Wars lolly came with a free mask... And not just one mask but a range to collect! And if you did collect them all, and you still have them all in decent nick, well done, as they go for an absolute fortune now! Also the reverse sides of the wrapper featured illustrations and text detailing all the then new and weird looking characters in this exciting new movie. Hence kids could learn who Darth Vader, Chewbacca, C3PO, and R2D2 were, plus get the low down on Tuskan Raiders and Stormtroopers!
The following year, another blockbuster was touching down in British cinemas during the winter months. Yes, this was quite a common occurrence back then, as generally the UK got movies some six months after their US release in the '70s and early '80s, hence the Christmas/New Year season was when all the big movies came out over here. And once again, despite it not being the season to enjoy in a freezing cold snack, Lyons Maid once again had bagged a big brand - this time Superman: The Movie! Hence in January 1979 Superman lolly flew into the freezers. Priced at 10p, the lolly itself was a very simple cola flavoured frozen juice affair. However its big selling point was that said cola flavoured ice was frozen around plastic sticks that bore the carven likenesses of Superman and his friends and foes! OK, that should be moulded not carved, but you get the idea! Once again there was a range to collect, this time 12 in all, pictured below!
Somewhat less explicable, is the other tie-in lolly we got in June 1979 - the Happy Days ice lolly. This seems something of an odd choice for branding because by 1979 the show, and indeed Fonzie himself, had already well and truly jumped the shark. However someone clearly thought it was a good idea, and hence seemingly went all out on the design specs for this lolly. No frozen flavoured ice on a stick here, no sir. The Happy Days lolly promised strawberry flavour ice encasing a chocolate bar centre, and topped with red, white and blue sugar balls. While the spherical sugary topping clearly symbolises the American flag, I haven't the foggiest what strawberry ice around a brown log was meant to evoke. Best not think about it... Anyhow, going for a pricey 19p, the Happy Days lolly didn't last too long, and while it was more ambitious in its construction, in this competitive age you needed a lot more that sugary balls to get ahead.
However arch rivals to Lyons Maid, Walls had much better results with their own branded lolly launched in 1979 - the Incredible Hulk lolly! This was a green (natch) ice affair with red/purple sprinkles on top for reasons that have escaped the best minds of our generation. However the main draw was the fact that each lolly came with a picture card showing the Hulk in action and backed with text on his adventures and powers. All in all there were 20 to collect and great fun all round. Certainly it was far more inspiring than the branded lolly Walls released the following year. Seemingly wanting a slice of the blockbuster action, Walls wrangled a deal with Disney for what they both hoped was the next Star Wars. However that movie turned out to be The Black Hole... And I suspect the fact that Walls didn't seem to bother with any cards, masks or send-offs for this lolly speaks volumes about its box office fortunes...
However arch rivals to Lyons Maid, Walls had much better results with their own branded lolly launched in 1979 - the Incredible Hulk lolly! This was a green (natch) ice affair with red/purple sprinkles on top for reasons that have escaped the best minds of our generation. However the main draw was the fact that each lolly came with a picture card showing the Hulk in action and backed with text on his adventures and powers. All in all there were 20 to collect and great fun all round. Certainly it was far more inspiring than the branded lolly Walls released the following year. Seemingly wanting a slice of the blockbuster action, Walls wrangled a deal with Disney for what they both hoped was the next Star Wars. However that movie turned out to be The Black Hole... And I suspect the fact that Walls didn't seem to bother with any cards, masks or send-offs for this lolly speaks volumes about its box office fortunes...
The end of the year however saw Lyons Maid netting another big brand with a Star Trek lolly beaming down in December 1979. Tie-ing to the Star Trek: The Motionless Picture, the lolly was a good deal more exciting than the movie, coming in a tangy pineapple and orange flavour that would at least keep the kids awake. Better still though, each lolly came with a picture card, with 25 different ones to collect. Plus there was a wall chart to send-off for too! .
Lyons Maid continued their run of big branded bestsellers in 1980, with May that year seeing the launch of a second Star Wars lolly, this time to tie-in with the just released The Empire Strikes Back. This time we were treated to a toffee and mint lolly stickers with the wrapper's front boasting a scary Vader in flames while the reverse had illustrations and text about six leading characters in the movie - Boba Fett, Darth Vader, Lando Calrissian, Princess Leia, Han Solo, and Yoda. However the fun didn't stop there - for each lolly came with a sticker, with a series of 12 to collect.
However the end of the 70s were really the last battles of the Great Ice Lolly Wars. And branded lollies and tie-ins started to disappear. For example, after 1980, Lyons Maid only had one venture into the branded lolly arena with 1984's Banana Man lolly, which boasted a chewy toffee centre but that was about it. For sadly at some point in the rightly accursed 1980s, some evil genius realised that all this chicanery to pick the pockets of children was a mug's game. All this tat cost money to produce after all. And who really paid for these lollies anyway? The parents of course! And so, increasingly lollies and ice cream were marketed to grown ups as luxury product. It was the end of an era. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all...
OK, perhaps that was a little overly dramatic! But certainly Obesity, and Adult Onset Diabetes, and Cornettos held illimitable dominion over all...
OK, perhaps that was a little overly dramatic! But certainly Obesity, and Adult Onset Diabetes, and Cornettos held illimitable dominion over all...
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
The 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat #02 - Trek And Relative Dimension in Shops
Hello folks! Welcome back the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Do take a seat... No, not there, that's still got the remains of dropped lolly on it! A Walls Sky-Ray I think. But I digress... Anyhow yes, this week we are still going through the big dusty box marked "Denys Fisher Dr Who" and taking a look at another item in that range of toys that helped kids create new adventures of the titular Time Lord in the comfort of their own bedrooms back in the late '70s.
So then, in 1976, British toy company Denys Fisher, in conjunction with Mego in the US, released a range of nine and half inch Doctor Who figures. Obviously we had the Doctor himself, all teeth and curls and wearing Tom Baker's face (or was it... see our last trip here). There was a Leela doll, which despite having exceedingly bushy hair like those old Troll dolls, had a certain resemblance to Louise Jameson. And there was also a range of enemies which we'll have a gander at next time. But the centerpiece of the range was the TARDIS playset.
Nicely scaled to the figures in the range (and for a good reason too), the Denys Fisher TARDIS was a sturdy beast and a rather nice replica of the current TV version. However while later toy TARDISes (and no, it shouldn't be TARDII - the name's an acronym remember) were just empty blue boxes, this first time capsule for action figures had a trick up its plastic sleeves. If you looked at the photos on this page, you'll notice that the only major inaccuracy in the design is the inclusion of what look like red and green lights on the top. But these were actually buttons to allow the toy TARDIS perform its main selling feature.
For when you opened the doors, you discovered a little chamber, just big enough to stand a Doctor or a Leela, or at a squeeze a Cyberman figure inside. Now for maximum effect, you then shut the doors, and pressed the green button. The TARDIS would make a strange noise - sadly not the famous wheezing and groaning dematerialisation sound effects - and then when you opened the doors, the Doctor (or whoever that been shoved in there) had disappeared! My giddy aunt! And then if you shut the doors and pressed the other button, they came back! Amazing!
Of course, it was blindingly obvious to most children how this all worked, for the chamber in which you placed your plastic pals was suspiciously curved and put one in mind of a revolving door. And indeed essentially that was the secret of this particular TARDIS - it worked just like those secret doors in movies and cartoons where you pull a concealed lever, usually a torch on a wall, a candlestick, or a book on a shelf. and a section of wall span around. It was, at least to a child of the time, very cool. Although I suspect I'm not alone in being slightly bothered by it, for the TARDIS is not some species of secret door, or a magician's vanishing cabinet. And so, while this feature was undoubtedly great fun, it didn't quite fit the lore of the parent TV show. Personally I rationalised this by choosing to see it as representing the Doctor wandering off into the sadly unseen control room for which, equally sadly, there was never a playset equivalent of. Of course I was aware that that was just an imaginative sticking plaster, what we might now call "head canon" but it evidently worked well enough as I played with that until the mechanism eventually broke!
But even back then, I kind of guessed why this toy TARDIS performed this vanishing trick, for I had seen another playset that did more or less the same stunt - the Star Trek Transporter Room from Palitoy. Now over in the US in 1974, legendary toy giant Mego (and that's a company not some fee-fie-fo-fumming titan made of playthings) began producing a line of Star Trek figures, eight inch high replicas of the crew and assorted aliens. The big item in that range was the USS Enterprise Action Playset, a construction of card and plastic that delivered a captain's chair for our Kirk to loaf about on, a Navigation Console, six different pictures to put on the bridge view screen, and some stools for the other crew. All very exciting, but the highlight of the set was the Transporter. Now although a transporter shouldn't have been on the bridge, and in the show looked more like the stage of a late '60s nightclub, this was a little pod that looked like a futuristic wardrobe. But it did perform the same magic trick with a revolving panel as the TARDIS, to allow you to "beam down" figures to areas of carpet and hallway that had been pressed into service as alien planets.
Sadly however, this set was never released in the UK, and indeed if I remember rightly the Star Trek figures were never widely available in British toy stores for long - certainly Palitoy versions of the second wave of figures released, the aliens in particular, were and are very hard to come by. However we did get a playset that was exclusive to the UK, with Palitoy creating the Transporter Room set. This was just the transporter unit from the US set, shipped as a stand-alone item and sporting a jazzier colour scheme. It was created from Mego parts shipped from the US and Hong Kong, as toy historians reckon that the execs at Palitoy decided it was cheaper to create this set from pre-existing bits than import the USS Enterprise Playset (for more on this saga, boldly go here).
Now there was a fair bit of back and forth across the Atlantic between Mego and Palitoy, but the legendary American toy makers also had a good relationship with Denys Fisher too. And hence no one seemed to mind too much when Denys Fisher essentially borrowed the concept and mechanism. However as the Who figures were an inch and half taller than the Kirk and co figures, everything had to be scaled up with new bespoke parts to create their version of the TARDIS.
Of course for the kids of 1970s Britain the real upshot of the this difference in figure sizes meant that any bedroom team-ups or playground crossovers where the Doctor met the Enterprise crew often ended in farce, with the Baker Doctor giving Kirk the old Benny Hill head slapping treatment, the "get out of that" routine (as frequently demonstrated by Eric Morecambe on little Ern), and of course the classic held-off-at-arms-length-you-can't-hit-me wind-up beloved of older siblings everywhere...
NEXT TIME - We'll be round off our look at Doctor Who dolls, sorry I mean action figures, with a look at some of the curious things going on with the Doctor's enemies...

Monday, 11 May 2009
Star Trek Part I - The Spoiler Free Frontier

Television and movies have long had a mutually parasitic relationship with properties being batted from one medium to another on a regular basis. And largely the results are never pretty. In his classic tale Dreams in the Witch-House, which effectively mashes up hyper dimensional physics and 17th century witchcraft, HP Lovecraft has his doomed protagonist theorise that a truly successful mode of travel between dimensions where different laws of time and space apply, the method of transport would have to alter the traveller’s biology to be able to survive outside his native dimension. And all too often when a property moves from television to film or vica versa, the adjustments to the new medium all too often ends up leaving it looking like the transporter accident in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
The problem is that that cinema and television have very different dynamics of story telling. If you are moving from film to TV, apart from the constraints of a much smaller budget, the trouble tends to be what works once on the big screen quickly becomes boring week in and week out. Of course there are exceptions, most notably Buffy the Vampire Slayer transformed itself from a rather mediocre movie into a truly fabulous television series. And more recently Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has been doing sterling work.
Conversely moving a show into the cinema has its own unique trials – make it very like the TV series and you risk the infamous ‘long episode’ syndrome. However if you embrace the medium and craft a plot of cinematic dimensions, then the change in the type of story you are telling often results with the movie feeling like a different genre to the original. So bearing this in mind, you can see why so often these days, movies derived from TV series are either ‘ironic’ send ups (Charlies Angels, Starsky & Hutch) or complete reboots/reimaginings (Miami Vice, Lost In Space).
Of course of all the series subjected to the dimension shift from cathode tube to silver screen, the big success story is Star Trek – now with 11 cinema outings to its name. However looking at the development of the movies we can clearly see the difficulties. The first outing, often dubbed ‘The Slow Motion Picture’, tips too far over the line into extraneous cinematics with a ponderous plot and some awful costume redesigns. Whereas the final picture, Star Trek Nemesis, feels too much like a Next Gen two-parter cobbled into a movie.
So when the new Star Trek was announced, aside for JJ Abrams being attached, the key detail that caught my eye was that the plot would deal with the early years of the characters’ history. So were we going to be cruising at warp speed into the Prequel Galaxy and praying that Mr Scott could supercharge the dilithium crystals enough to get us safely beyond the Lucas Black Hole? Or would this be more an untold tales deal, with Trek going all Smallville on us?
Both were worrying concepts, fraught with ample scope for an epic misfire. However equally troubling was the prospect of a complete clean slate reboot. Could we ever accept new actors taking on roles so closely associated with Shatner, Nimoy, Kelly et al? And would jettisoning 40-odd years of continuity mean we would be getting an origins movie in which much screen time is wasted explaining things to us that we already know?
Now while the first issue is a matter of getting together a good enough cast together and hoping the fans will embrace them, the continuity aspect is a trickier matter. On one hand, you have the problem of reintroducing characters and concepts – if you present exactly how they were in the original, you’re wasting our time and if you change them people are doing to say ‘This isn’t Trek!”. However the thornier issue is how much continuity is just pandering to obsessive fans?
Now the Star Trek franchise had fallen into something of decline. Personally Voyager never really won my affections – it felt too much like they were just randomly swapping different tropes from earlier series. And while there was the wonderful holographic Doctor (surely modelled on one of the Crane brothers’ descendents), there was bloody Neelix who made you realise that Wesley Crusher perhaps wasn’t that annoying after all. (Indeed Neelix vs. Alien, Predator, Jason & Godzilla is still the spin-off I’d most like to see. Yes, even more than Strap Trek - 7 of 9 vs. Jenna Jameson. But moving swiftly on…)
However it’s Enterprise that really underlines the continuity problem. Now obvious the show was crippled from the get go with that awful MOR ballad of a theme but the real problem with the show was that it was being made purely for Star Trek fans by this stage. But heavy continuity based content doesn’t necessary always play well to the fans – often it can appear that the show is turning into fan fiction of the worst kind - “fanwank”. But worse the weight of continuity was driving away the ordinary TV viewers who can scent an anorak at 50 paces. Basically Trek found itself in a similar position to the later seasons of the original series of Doctor Who – what had once been a popular show with a general audience was squeezing into a much smaller niche as a cult show. And not at the cool end of cult either – the public perception was that these were shows for the obsessive weirdos – D&D players, undercover Morris dancers and the bulk buyers of Clearasil.
Therefore the challenge for Abrams and co was not just to make a film that would be accepted as ‘real’ Trek by fans – a daunting task in itself – but to make something the general public could relate to. And in this context, a clearing out of the continuity cupboard with a fresh reboot makes perfect sense.
So what did he actually deliver? Prepare to beam down onto the first part of review. A second away team will be assembled after to venture into spoiler sectors…
A quick tricorder reading to kick off: cinematics – good, pace – excellent and the atmosphere is breathable. As a film in itself, this is an above average blockbuster – it’s got a solid story, plenty of breath-taking action, and deft characterisation. But also, like last summer’s Iron Man, there’s a good deal of well-used humour and the film’s phasers are set firmly on ‘Fun’. It’s a superior slice of sci-fi action adventure…but is it Trek?
Well I’d say it is Star Trek … but not as we know it. And what I mean by that is that JJ Abrams has produced a version of the franchise that truly feels home on the big screen and yet still feels like Star Trek of old. It admittedly draws on the “boldly going” spirit of the original series rather the Next Generation philosophical splitting of infinitives, but as the movie is bring back the beloved original crew back it’s only appropriate that it should continue with the same ratio of fun and adventure in its DNA.
Although Abrams has admitted to not previously being a Star Trek fan, he’s clearly been doing his homework. Firstly he’s identified that what made original Trek more beloved than a host of other sci-fi series was the well defined characters of the crew and how they interact. And he has placed this at the heart of the film. Now there is a ton of great action sequences but the plot’s real drive comes from the characters’ emotional journeys rather than the FX’s storyboards. An overblown firework of a toy ad this is not!
I have heard some criticisms that the plot is a little simple and, often for die hard Trekkers, far too light on ponderousness. Certainly the actual main mechanics of the story are basic – Romulan captain wreaks havoc. And it is a suitably Star Trek type of tale, but more importantly it’s only really the framework device for telling the real story which is how the Enterprise got together. And their stories do have a typically Trek philosophical bent – it’s a good deal more subtle than the long profound speeches that pepper TV Trek from the Next Gen onward, but it’s still there. Yes, there is humour and spectacle, but the emotional weight of the plotting means that the film never descends to the level of a campy romp.
This movie is that it is actually an origin story. But it’s not told in the usual fashion – you know, with all that tedious building up to the characters becoming who we know they are in the last third of the film. It opens with a stunning opening sequence that hurls you squarely into the Star Trek universe and then barrels along, deftly balancing character development with more action.
And the new cast are more than up to the job. I was very surprised how quickly the initial strangeness of seeing new actors in these very familiar roles wore off. One thing that was oft discussed in the run up to this film, was the question of how the actors would play the parts – would they be parroting the verbal tics of their predecessors? Thankfully they don’t and thus avoid appearing as a parody sketch. Instead we get a solid script that stays faithful to the speech mannerisms and crucially the concept of the original crew. And very intelligently the script set ups situation for the characters to show us who they are the same as they always were. You recognise Kirk’s cockiness in Chris Pine’s dialogue, and Karl Urban is Bones from the instant he starts grousing about space. But most uncanny of all is Zachary Quinto – he is Spock! Minor spoiler – but in the scene towards the film’s close where the Quinto Spock meets Leonard Nimoy’s, you’ll have to remind yourself there’s no CGI double at work.
Abrams, along with screen writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, have took the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” approach with characters and story stylings and given us the Enterprise crew in a new adventure. Wisely the new additions to the Star Trek universe are mainly cosmetic. Although the look of the sets, ships and costumes are pleasingly faithful to the originals, Abrams has given the movie a distinct visual style. Now it has to be said, that he does like a lens flare a little too much (and has recently admitted that they went a bit too far with them) but overall his understanding that the Star Trek universe is a bright colourful and shiny place is spot on. His choice of lighting, tonal palette and colour schemes featuring a lot of coloured metallics reminded me of countless airbrushed illustrations from old Star Trek annuals and tie-novels. This vision of Star Trek evokes both the cover paintings of the Golden age pulps and the pop art sensibilities of the original series and manages to look both realistically modern and fresh.
So conclude this spoiler-free section – what we have here is an excellent Star Trek film. I do have a couple of minor niggles to air in the next bit but they are more than balanced by the rest of the praise. And I would tentatively suggest that this may be the best cinema version of Trek so far. Certainly it has reinvigorated the franchise and opens the door at last to a new era of Star Trek.
Any red shirts wishing to join the away team to Planet Spoiler, kindly step through the Jefferies tube to the right… While the rest of you who haven’t seen it yet, just print out the image below and get yourself to the local multiplex for a round of Trek Bingo. When you’ve crossed off all the boxes, feel free to jump up and shout “TUQ!”
The problem is that that cinema and television have very different dynamics of story telling. If you are moving from film to TV, apart from the constraints of a much smaller budget, the trouble tends to be what works once on the big screen quickly becomes boring week in and week out. Of course there are exceptions, most notably Buffy the Vampire Slayer transformed itself from a rather mediocre movie into a truly fabulous television series. And more recently Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has been doing sterling work.
Conversely moving a show into the cinema has its own unique trials – make it very like the TV series and you risk the infamous ‘long episode’ syndrome. However if you embrace the medium and craft a plot of cinematic dimensions, then the change in the type of story you are telling often results with the movie feeling like a different genre to the original. So bearing this in mind, you can see why so often these days, movies derived from TV series are either ‘ironic’ send ups (Charlies Angels, Starsky & Hutch) or complete reboots/reimaginings (Miami Vice, Lost In Space).
Of course of all the series subjected to the dimension shift from cathode tube to silver screen, the big success story is Star Trek – now with 11 cinema outings to its name. However looking at the development of the movies we can clearly see the difficulties. The first outing, often dubbed ‘The Slow Motion Picture’, tips too far over the line into extraneous cinematics with a ponderous plot and some awful costume redesigns. Whereas the final picture, Star Trek Nemesis, feels too much like a Next Gen two-parter cobbled into a movie.
So when the new Star Trek was announced, aside for JJ Abrams being attached, the key detail that caught my eye was that the plot would deal with the early years of the characters’ history. So were we going to be cruising at warp speed into the Prequel Galaxy and praying that Mr Scott could supercharge the dilithium crystals enough to get us safely beyond the Lucas Black Hole? Or would this be more an untold tales deal, with Trek going all Smallville on us?
Both were worrying concepts, fraught with ample scope for an epic misfire. However equally troubling was the prospect of a complete clean slate reboot. Could we ever accept new actors taking on roles so closely associated with Shatner, Nimoy, Kelly et al? And would jettisoning 40-odd years of continuity mean we would be getting an origins movie in which much screen time is wasted explaining things to us that we already know?
Now while the first issue is a matter of getting together a good enough cast together and hoping the fans will embrace them, the continuity aspect is a trickier matter. On one hand, you have the problem of reintroducing characters and concepts – if you present exactly how they were in the original, you’re wasting our time and if you change them people are doing to say ‘This isn’t Trek!”. However the thornier issue is how much continuity is just pandering to obsessive fans?
Now the Star Trek franchise had fallen into something of decline. Personally Voyager never really won my affections – it felt too much like they were just randomly swapping different tropes from earlier series. And while there was the wonderful holographic Doctor (surely modelled on one of the Crane brothers’ descendents), there was bloody Neelix who made you realise that Wesley Crusher perhaps wasn’t that annoying after all. (Indeed Neelix vs. Alien, Predator, Jason & Godzilla is still the spin-off I’d most like to see. Yes, even more than Strap Trek - 7 of 9 vs. Jenna Jameson. But moving swiftly on…)
However it’s Enterprise that really underlines the continuity problem. Now obvious the show was crippled from the get go with that awful MOR ballad of a theme but the real problem with the show was that it was being made purely for Star Trek fans by this stage. But heavy continuity based content doesn’t necessary always play well to the fans – often it can appear that the show is turning into fan fiction of the worst kind - “fanwank”. But worse the weight of continuity was driving away the ordinary TV viewers who can scent an anorak at 50 paces. Basically Trek found itself in a similar position to the later seasons of the original series of Doctor Who – what had once been a popular show with a general audience was squeezing into a much smaller niche as a cult show. And not at the cool end of cult either – the public perception was that these were shows for the obsessive weirdos – D&D players, undercover Morris dancers and the bulk buyers of Clearasil.
Therefore the challenge for Abrams and co was not just to make a film that would be accepted as ‘real’ Trek by fans – a daunting task in itself – but to make something the general public could relate to. And in this context, a clearing out of the continuity cupboard with a fresh reboot makes perfect sense.
So what did he actually deliver? Prepare to beam down onto the first part of review. A second away team will be assembled after to venture into spoiler sectors…
A quick tricorder reading to kick off: cinematics – good, pace – excellent and the atmosphere is breathable. As a film in itself, this is an above average blockbuster – it’s got a solid story, plenty of breath-taking action, and deft characterisation. But also, like last summer’s Iron Man, there’s a good deal of well-used humour and the film’s phasers are set firmly on ‘Fun’. It’s a superior slice of sci-fi action adventure…but is it Trek?
Well I’d say it is Star Trek … but not as we know it. And what I mean by that is that JJ Abrams has produced a version of the franchise that truly feels home on the big screen and yet still feels like Star Trek of old. It admittedly draws on the “boldly going” spirit of the original series rather the Next Generation philosophical splitting of infinitives, but as the movie is bring back the beloved original crew back it’s only appropriate that it should continue with the same ratio of fun and adventure in its DNA.
Although Abrams has admitted to not previously being a Star Trek fan, he’s clearly been doing his homework. Firstly he’s identified that what made original Trek more beloved than a host of other sci-fi series was the well defined characters of the crew and how they interact. And he has placed this at the heart of the film. Now there is a ton of great action sequences but the plot’s real drive comes from the characters’ emotional journeys rather than the FX’s storyboards. An overblown firework of a toy ad this is not!
I have heard some criticisms that the plot is a little simple and, often for die hard Trekkers, far too light on ponderousness. Certainly the actual main mechanics of the story are basic – Romulan captain wreaks havoc. And it is a suitably Star Trek type of tale, but more importantly it’s only really the framework device for telling the real story which is how the Enterprise got together. And their stories do have a typically Trek philosophical bent – it’s a good deal more subtle than the long profound speeches that pepper TV Trek from the Next Gen onward, but it’s still there. Yes, there is humour and spectacle, but the emotional weight of the plotting means that the film never descends to the level of a campy romp.
This movie is that it is actually an origin story. But it’s not told in the usual fashion – you know, with all that tedious building up to the characters becoming who we know they are in the last third of the film. It opens with a stunning opening sequence that hurls you squarely into the Star Trek universe and then barrels along, deftly balancing character development with more action.
And the new cast are more than up to the job. I was very surprised how quickly the initial strangeness of seeing new actors in these very familiar roles wore off. One thing that was oft discussed in the run up to this film, was the question of how the actors would play the parts – would they be parroting the verbal tics of their predecessors? Thankfully they don’t and thus avoid appearing as a parody sketch. Instead we get a solid script that stays faithful to the speech mannerisms and crucially the concept of the original crew. And very intelligently the script set ups situation for the characters to show us who they are the same as they always were. You recognise Kirk’s cockiness in Chris Pine’s dialogue, and Karl Urban is Bones from the instant he starts grousing about space. But most uncanny of all is Zachary Quinto – he is Spock! Minor spoiler – but in the scene towards the film’s close where the Quinto Spock meets Leonard Nimoy’s, you’ll have to remind yourself there’s no CGI double at work.
Abrams, along with screen writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, have took the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” approach with characters and story stylings and given us the Enterprise crew in a new adventure. Wisely the new additions to the Star Trek universe are mainly cosmetic. Although the look of the sets, ships and costumes are pleasingly faithful to the originals, Abrams has given the movie a distinct visual style. Now it has to be said, that he does like a lens flare a little too much (and has recently admitted that they went a bit too far with them) but overall his understanding that the Star Trek universe is a bright colourful and shiny place is spot on. His choice of lighting, tonal palette and colour schemes featuring a lot of coloured metallics reminded me of countless airbrushed illustrations from old Star Trek annuals and tie-novels. This vision of Star Trek evokes both the cover paintings of the Golden age pulps and the pop art sensibilities of the original series and manages to look both realistically modern and fresh.
So conclude this spoiler-free section – what we have here is an excellent Star Trek film. I do have a couple of minor niggles to air in the next bit but they are more than balanced by the rest of the praise. And I would tentatively suggest that this may be the best cinema version of Trek so far. Certainly it has reinvigorated the franchise and opens the door at last to a new era of Star Trek.
Any red shirts wishing to join the away team to Planet Spoiler, kindly step through the Jefferies tube to the right… While the rest of you who haven’t seen it yet, just print out the image below and get yourself to the local multiplex for a round of Trek Bingo. When you’ve crossed off all the boxes, feel free to jump up and shout “TUQ!”

TO BE CONTINUED...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)