HYPNOGORIA 170 - Tardis Tuners & Zone Boxes

In this episode we pay a visit to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat to investigate some very rare and rather weird items of science fiction merchandise! First we ask what exactly was a TARDIS Tuner? And why had it never actually appeared in Doctor Who? Then we investigate the  Zone Box, a piece of tie-in tat for The Twilight Zone that is as bizarre as it is obscure! 

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THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT #29 - A Tune In For All Time Lords

Welcome once again dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! That's it, step inside... But don't touch that! Anywho dear friends, last time we were talking of when the catalogue was king, that now almost forgotten age of non-digital home shopping, a time when with nothing more advanced than a big glossy book, a pen and a stamp or two, you could order all manner of goods to be delivered to your door. However in this pre-internet age, there were actually some items that you could only get through mail order, something their manufacturers proudly trumpeted in the marketing - "Not available in any shop!". And were these rare and difficult to obtain items any cop? Well, therein lies a tale or two... Some were very good, some very bad, and indeed, a few were ugly. However sometimes these mail-order-only goodies went beyond the parameters set by Sergio Leone, and some were just downright weird!

These days, if a show or a movie is successful, it's instantly merchandised to the proverbial hilt, with the brand being instantly licenced for everything from comics to clothes to cruet sets. And in some cases even actual hilts, well, replica swords at any rate. However in ages past, the availability of tie-in items were often sporadic, and often what was up for sale was rather eccentric. Now then, at the close of the 1970s, the most popular SF show, was one of the most popular TV shows  in Britain full stop. With Tom Baker helming the TARDIS, Doctor Who was enjoying a huge wave of popularity. And hence, somewhat surprisingly, it was only in the time of the Fourth Doctor, some ten years into the life of the hit series, that we got much in the way of proper merch. As previously discussed, it was in this jelly baby era that the first proper Doctor Who action figures appeared. Also this was the period when the Target novelisations began to fly off the shelves, and more exciting still, a weekly comic - Doctor Who Weekly - first appeared.  

Back in those pre-web days, specialised publications served a unique role. For aside from serving up content dedicated to their chosen area of interest, such magazines provided a valuable micro market for advertisers and mail order shops. Now then, around the same time, an electronics firm called Shortman Manufacturing wangled a license to produce tat for the Doctor Who brand. But the question was what? Despite its popularity, Doctor Who was always somewhat tricky to merchandise for - there weren't a host of exciting space-age vehicles like the Gerry Anderson shows, the Doctor didn't carry anything in the way of weapons that could be turned into toy guns, and he didn't wear a special outfit or costume either. In those days, even the now very toyetic sonic screwdriver wasn't used that much in the old series. Hence Shortman came up with a novel idea - how about an item that had never and would never feature in the series, but you could stick a Who logo on! Perfect!

And so the TARDIS Tuner was born! Pimped frequently in the pages of Dr Who Weekly and comics such as 2000 AD from 1978 onwards, with a full page comic strip ad, thousands of kids wondered what the hell a TARDIS TUNER was! The adverts proclaimed it was a "A TUNE IN FOR ALL TIME LORDS", but a little careful reading of the blurb revealed it was in effect a jazzed up medium wave transistor radio. Priced initially at £14.25, but later climbing up to £19.91, this seemed a bit steep for a novelty tranny even it if was a rather chunky one -  approximately 20 cm x 15 cm x 8 cm (that's approx 8" x 6" x 3" in old money). 

However powered up by 4 AA batteries (or HP7s as they were back in the day), admittedly it did do other things too! The full, if somewhat cryptic, list of features was as follows -  

• Mind blowing volume control
• Built in radio receiver, 
• picks up radio 1, 2 & 3
• ‘Laser light control switch’
• Constant flashing laser lights
• Radio tuner for crystal clear reception
• Time warp bleeper control switch
• Tough moulded matt-black casing stands up to the heaviest landings
• Sliding door for battery supplies

Wait a minute! This had lasers?!? Take my money now!

Of course it didn't really have lasers, just some bog standard flashing lights. Now I'm not sure whether Shortman were hoping that no one would be daft enough to think the TARDIS Tuner really had lasers, or were actually daft enough to believe the blurb but conveniently also be too stupid to start legal proceedings. Either way though, to a child of the 1970s, flashing lights were very cool in themselves. Yes, I know, simpler times!  *Insert favourite old git rant of your choice here*

So what did this space-age gadget actually do? Well after literally years of idly wondering what a "Time warp bleeper control switch" did, at last the truth can be revealed! Switch 1 toggled the TARDIS Tuner  between  "Radio" or "Lights" mode. In "Radio", obviously you could listen to the radio. No Radio 4 though as this didn't pick up FM, but I'm sure that wasn't a huge deal for the nation's kids. However its in "Lights" mode where things get interesting. In this second mode, you could no longer use the radio, but instead the TARDIS Tuner can be made to emit a range of electronic noises. Well, a range of two electronic noise -  the second switch - "Switch 2" natch - allows you to chose between "Morse Warp" or "Laser Bleep". However by using the volume control you could modulate the pitch of both of these to create eerie space age oscillating tones... or just a racket to annoy everyone else in the house with at any rate! 

The TARDIS Tuner in action!

However one does wonder whether the advertisers had much faith in it as the faux strip hawking it was entitled "Doctor Who and the Turgids". Methinks someone was having a laugh there. But despite soundly horribly low tech to modern ears, and to be honest even potentially disappointing back then, quite clearly the TARDIS Tuner sold well enough, for it was advertised in the pages of Doctor Who Weekly and other comics for several years. And now this totally non-canonical item has become popular with Who cosplayers, with a working model going for a 100 quid recently! 

The 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat #02 - Trek And Relative Dimension in Shops

Hello folks! Welcome back the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Do take a seat... No, not there, that's still got the remains of dropped lolly on it! A Walls Sky-Ray I think. But I digress... Anyhow yes, this week we are still going through the big dusty box marked "Denys Fisher Dr Who" and taking a look at another item in that range of toys that helped kids create new adventures of the titular Time Lord in the comfort of their own bedrooms back in the late '70s. 

So then, in 1976, British toy company Denys Fisher, in conjunction with Mego in the US, released a range of nine and half inch Doctor Who figures. Obviously we had the Doctor himself, all teeth and curls and wearing Tom Baker's face (or was it... see our last trip here). There was a Leela doll, which despite having exceedingly bushy hair like those old Troll dolls, had a certain resemblance to Louise Jameson. And there was also a range of enemies which we'll have a gander at next time. But the centerpiece of the range was the TARDIS playset. 

Nicely scaled to the figures in the range (and for a good reason too), the Denys Fisher TARDIS was a sturdy beast and a rather nice replica of the current TV version. However while later toy TARDISes (and no, it shouldn't be TARDII - the name's an acronym remember) were just empty blue boxes, this first time capsule for action figures had a trick up its plastic sleeves. If you looked at the photos on this page, you'll notice that the only major inaccuracy in the design is the inclusion of what look like red and green lights on the top. But these were actually buttons to allow the toy TARDIS perform its main selling feature.

For when you opened the doors, you discovered a little chamber, just big enough to stand a Doctor or a Leela, or at a squeeze a Cyberman figure inside. Now for maximum effect, you then shut the doors, and pressed the green button. The TARDIS would make a strange noise - sadly not the famous wheezing and groaning dematerialisation sound effects - and then when you opened the doors, the Doctor (or whoever that been shoved in there) had disappeared! My giddy aunt! And then if you shut the doors and pressed the other button, they came back! Amazing! 

Of course, it was blindingly obvious to most children how this all worked, for the chamber in which you placed your plastic pals was suspiciously curved and put one in mind of a revolving door. And indeed essentially that was the secret of this particular TARDIS - it worked just like those secret doors in movies and cartoons where you pull a concealed lever, usually a torch on a wall, a candlestick, or a book on a shelf. and a section of wall span around. It was, at least to a child of the time, very cool. Although I suspect I'm not alone in being slightly bothered by it, for the TARDIS is not some species of secret door, or a magician's vanishing cabinet. And so, while this feature was undoubtedly great fun, it didn't quite fit the lore of the parent TV show. Personally I rationalised this by choosing to see it as representing the Doctor wandering off into the sadly unseen control room for which, equally sadly, there was never a playset equivalent of. Of course I was aware that that was just an imaginative sticking plaster, what we might now call "head canon" but it evidently worked well enough as I played with that until the mechanism eventually broke! 

But even back then, I kind of guessed why this toy TARDIS performed this vanishing trick, for I had seen another playset that did more or less the same stunt - the Star Trek Transporter Room from Palitoy. Now over in the US in 1974, legendary toy giant Mego (and that's a company not some fee-fie-fo-fumming titan made of playthings) began producing a line of Star Trek figures, eight inch high replicas of the crew and assorted aliens. The big item in that range was the USS Enterprise Action Playset, a construction of card and plastic that delivered a captain's chair for our Kirk to loaf about on, a Navigation Console, six different pictures to put on the bridge view screen, and some stools for the other crew. All very exciting, but the highlight of the set was the Transporter. Now although a transporter shouldn't have been on the bridge,  and in the show looked more like the stage of a late '60s nightclub, this was a little pod that looked like a futuristic wardrobe. But it did perform the same magic trick with a revolving panel as the TARDIS, to allow you to "beam down" figures to areas of carpet and hallway that had been pressed into service as alien planets. 

Sadly however, this set was never released in the UK, and indeed if I remember rightly the Star Trek figures were never widely available in British toy stores for long - certainly Palitoy versions of the second wave of figures released, the aliens in particular, were and are very hard to come by. However we did get a playset that was exclusive to the UK, with Palitoy creating the Transporter Room set. This was just the transporter unit from the US set, shipped as a stand-alone item and sporting a jazzier colour scheme. It was created from Mego parts shipped from the US and Hong Kong, as toy historians reckon that the execs at Palitoy decided it was cheaper to create this set from pre-existing bits than import the USS Enterprise Playset (for more on this saga, boldly go here). 

Now there was a fair bit of back and forth across the Atlantic between Mego and Palitoy, but the legendary American toy makers also had a good relationship with Denys Fisher too. And hence no one seemed to mind too much when Denys Fisher essentially borrowed the concept and mechanism. However as the Who figures were an inch and half taller than the Kirk and co figures, everything had to be scaled up with new bespoke parts to create their version of the TARDIS.

Of course for the kids of 1970s Britain the real upshot of the this difference in figure sizes meant that any bedroom team-ups or playground crossovers where the Doctor met the Enterprise crew often ended in farce, with the Baker Doctor giving Kirk the old Benny Hill head slapping treatment, the "get out of that" routine (as frequently demonstrated by Eric Morecambe on little Ern),  and of course the classic held-off-at-arms-length-you-can't-hit-me wind-up beloved of older siblings everywhere...   

NEXT TIME - We'll be round off our look at Doctor Who dolls, sorry I mean action figures, with a look at some of the curious things going on with the Doctor's enemies... 

DOCTOR WHO 6.08 - Let's Kill Hitler Spoiler Zone

So then somewhat belatedly - it's been one of those weeks folks! - here's the Spoilers Zone for Let's Kill  Hitler! The spoiler free review can be found here

Shh! Spoilers sweetie!

Well, the first thing to address is probably that title Let's Kill Hitler... Now contrary to expectations, this wasn't an episode exploring the age old time travel questions as the moral implications of killing a young Adolf before his rise to power or the consequences of messing about with historical time lines. Indeed, this story is actually rather Fuhrer-lite, and on reflection this is probably a good thing. 

For while there's acres of decent potential material for stories here, Doctor Who perhaps isn't the right arena for them. Certainly it would be ideal for a Big Finish audio or the old Virgin/BBC novels, but on the box on a Saturday tea-time not so much. Being a family orientated show and having an eccentric and often funny lead character, it would be difficult to explore the material properly, doing justice to the moral complexities and the horrors of the Third Reich without either appearing to make light of the very serious historical events or being accused of getting too dark and intricate for the younger viewers. 

So then, I think Moffat chose wisely to keep Hitler in the cupboard, and instead delivering a tale which nicely touches on the concepts of using time travel to right historical wrongs but mainly is about a very different time criminal, River Song. It's very much her origin story and surprisingly Moffat actually gives us a ton of answers. In the course of the episode we learn who the Silence actually are, why River doesn't regenerate when she died in Forest of the Dead, who taught her to fly the TARDIS and what may be truth about a very old fan bugbear temporal grace. And there's more tidbits revealed too but we'll get to them later.

So then alot of reveals here, tying up a great many dangling threads, which should please all those fretting that Series  6 has been getting rather continuity heavy. Now the second half looks to be clear to build up to concluding the question of what really happens with the Doctor's apparent death at Lake Silencio. 

Of course, this being Doctor Who, a show whose format allows it tell many different sorts of stories in diverse tones, as always you're not going to please all of the people all of the time. For while some will applaud the batty cocktail of thrills, drama and comedy packed into Let's Kill Hitler, others will be left cold by the romping nature of the story. 

Now personally, I tend to think that new Who has tended to over-egg the comedy pudding, something that Moffat has largely reined in a bit. However, not always and this episode is one of those occasions, hence some will love it as a return to the over the top shennigans of the RTD era, and other loathe it for precisely the same reasons. 

And I must to confess to being slight conflicted on the matter myself. On one hand, if you're going to be a romp, you might as well really let rip and be outrageously daft as Let's Kill Hitler. For example, I loved the Teselecta which managed to be both a sly dig at the pompous moralising of some incarnations of Star Trek and also a homage to  The Numbskulls a comedy comic strip about a man who was piloted by the titular little fellas living in his head, appearing first in The Beezer and later The Beano. And quick-fire quippage from all the regular cast was comedy gold. All in all, if you're going over the top, do it in style!

Now largely Moffat managed to keeps the balance pitched so that the fun didn't detract from the drama and keep the plotting tight. However on the downside, there was a few instances where I felt the writing was so hurried that key plot points weren't explained enough. Now after a second watch, I'm convinced this isn't a case of Moffat taking a soiled leaf out of RTD's books and papering over plot holes and logical gaps with some big shiny spectacle. I think it's more a case of shoving so much into the episode, a couple of issues didn't quite get enough dialogue or screen-time to give them the correct dramatic weight. 

Firstly, I'm thinking specifically of the climax, where River decides to switch sides and/or break her Silence conditioning and the business of how she saves the Doctor. For although her change of heart was seeded, I don't think there was enough on screen for her change of heart to be properly convincing. Or alternatively, there was enough there but it was smothering by everything else the plot was doing. 

As for her giving up her remaining regenerations to save our hero, I can buy that in her post regenerative state she could channel the energy into the Doctor to heal him. However I honestly think we needed a line or two more to make this seem at little less than a deus ex machina. Just having River say 'I'm still regenerating you know' after she says 'I'm trying to help' would have made everything clearer and more credible.

Now all of this did have me wondering whether it was wise to try and cram so much into the episode. However I can forgive these missteps as on the whole the story was just so much fun and so bold in it's storytelling. Highly enjoyable but the niggles do mean it misses the classic adventure mark. 

But while we're on the subject of regeneration, there's been much speculation that just as River could shrug off the Nazi bullets, this is how Moffat will get the Doctor out of his death by Astronaut. Well, this theory doesn't actually work as this super healing only occurs AFTER a physical regeneration - it's a feature of the post regenerative cycle as The Christmas Invasion makes clear. Hence the Doctor would have had to transformed into his 12th body and the new incarnation be 'still cooking'  to be able to negate damage in this way.

Furthermore, the crew of the Teselecta state that the Doctor's death at Lake Silencio is a fixed point in time - it cannot be changed and hence would suggest that there can be no contradiction of the death as we've seen it. In last week's Radio Times feature, Mr Moffat himself writes in the introduction to the coming batch of adventures -

We all saw it happen - his final moments, the failed regeneration, the body in the burning boat. No hope, no escape, no excuses: we have seen the future and the Doctor is not going to survive it.

 And you what, I think he means it!

Now obviously the Doctor is going to survive by some means... but how? Is that chap we saw die the Ganger Doctor? Unlikely as he didn't dissolve to white fleshy goo. Is it the Teselecta? Also unlikely as despite its powers of mimicry, this time traversing Numbskull vechicle wasn't exactly adept at acting naturally - this robot had trouble not moving in a jerky mechanical fashion, so it's hard to believe it could replace the Doctor convincingly enough to fool Amy, Rory and River... Hang on, could it be the Teselecta piloted by the Ganger Doctor?!?

Well that's a possibility! However considering this series is the second chapter in a story line that started in Moffat's first season, and what next year's series is going to be is shrouded in mystery but certainly appears that it will be building up to the big 50th anniversary in 2013,  I suspect that there won't be a simple get-out to the Doctor's impending death.

So then we know that the Doctor will die as we've seen. And this episode tell us that River is indeed wanted for his murder. However is that why she's in prison in the Stormcage Facility? And is it her younger self in the space suit that rises from the Lake in Utah?

However as Moffat has shown in this outing, he's not adverse to giving out answers before the very end. And no doubt he's got more surprises still stuck up his capacious sleeves...

DOCTOR WHO 6.04 - The Doctor's Wife Spoiler Zone

For a spoiler free review from Mr Moon, go here!

But now, run for the corridors! The spoilers are free!

Well, I couldn't just let such a lovely episode pass by and not remark in detail on its merits could I now?

To begin with in the opening scenes we have a whole slew of little nods and winks to the Doctor’s past travels. In the run up to this season, hot on the heels of the news that Mr Gaiman’s episode would be appearing, came the titbit that the story would feature something or some one not seen since The War Games.

Now for those of you who don’t know, The War Games was final epic adventure that ended the Second Doctor’s run. And this tale was a real landmark in Who history, as it finally revealed that the Doctor was a Time Lord, met other members of his race, saw their home Gallifrey (though it wasn't named until much later on) and we discovered why he’s been roaming time and space all these years.

Therefore when the title of this episode was revealed and the teasers and trailers told us that it took place in a bubble universe, in conjunction with the afore mentioned titbit everything seemed to be pointing in the direction of meeting some surviving Time Lords. However this wasn't exactly the case and the call back to The War Games turned out to be a hypercube, the method by which the Second Doctor summons the Time Lords to sort of the War Chief’s mess.

Now while some viewers might feel a little disappointed we only found the remains of dead Gallifreyans, it was a nice little swerve. For while the fan genes have always clamoured to see an appearance of Time Lords, even before RTD wiped them out in the returning show’s mythos, when they have manifested in a story, it hasn't always been for the best. For if they are mishandled – which they had been in the past in some stories – you damage the mystique of this powerful ancient race that effectively rules all time.

However while The Doctor’s Wife may not deliver on-screen Time Lords, among the wreckage of the countless TARDISes (TARDII maybe? Yes, we’ll go with that…), we get a lot of hints and odd little details that reveal just enough to fire the imagination but not drag the lore down into mundanity. For example, who exactly was the Corsair – the very name is laden with untold stories! And while his introduction into what we know about the Who universe confirms that Time Lords can indeed regenerate into different gender, fans no doubt will be more intrigued by his tattoo –what does it signify? Is it a Time Lord brand marking his as a criminal, which fandom has suggested the tattoo we see the Third Doctor sporting in Spearhead From Space is?

But as well as the hypercube, this adventure brings back lots of other classic flotsam and jetsam. Of course the reappearance of the Ood and the console room used by the Ninth and Tenth Doctors need not be remarked upon. However more obscurely, the bubble universe sounds very similar to E-Space where the Fourth Doctor adventured for a spell. And the deleting of rooms within the TARDIS to provide an energy boost has been done before too – in Castrovalva where the Fifth Doctor jettisons a quarter of the Ship’s interiors for extra thrust to escape being sucked in the non-time that existed before Event One (or The Big Bang to you and me).

And as well as all these tips of the hat to the show’s long history, there’s a pleasing return of some classic thematic elements. Firstly we have the long running staple of the original series, running down some corridors! And better still, they are corridors in the TARDIS! It’s always fun to get a peek at the Ship’s interior, but like the Time Lords, it’s best if that’s all we get – the TARDIS rooms you can imagine will always be more fun that whatever we see on screen.

Now while I delighted to learn that all the old console rooms are archived within the depths of the TARDIS, I was little disappointed we did get to a version from the classic series (and indeed from my web surfing this morning it would appear that every one who feels the same way would like to see the wood panelled secondary console room from the Fourth Doctor’s era). However we did get a third console in the shape of the lash-up TARDIS the Doctor and Idris cobble together, and this looked not unlike a strange mash up of TARDII desktop themes past. And even more fun is the fact that this improvised console was dreamed up by a child in a Blue Peter competition (details here).

Now what I really love about it is that a young viewer has taken the shape of the classic era console and made it over with the mad bric-a-brac stylings of the current TARDIS. But not only is it a great bit of design but it fits so perfectly with the themes of the episode. And speaking of which…

…We have the junkyard planet – now that’s not a reference to an older adventure per se but junkyards in general are important to Doctor Who lore. Our first meeting with the Time Lord and his TARDIS in An Unearthly Child occurred in a scrap yard on Totter’s Lane owned by one I.M. Foreman. And over the years, the Doctor has been back there several times - twice on screen in Attack of the Cybermen and Remembrance of the Daleks and on a few other occasions on the printed page. And it’s not the first time we've seen a spaceship graveyard too - all that interstellar wreckage reminded me of the wastes of Karn in The Brain of Morbius - and House is not the first villain who lures in spacefarers to stock his larder. It’s a vintage Who set up all round!

And so to then let’s talk a bit about the Doctor/TARDIS romance in this story. While any whiff of the ‘L’ word around the Doctor is seen as heresy for some fans, I thought the relationship portrayed in this episode was spot on. Now I’m not against the Doctor having a relationship per se – after all he is a grand father remember – but in the past I’ve never been quite convinced by what we've seen on screen in the new series.

For example, although I can understand the Doctor would have a lot of affection for Rose, as she seems to connect him back to the world after the traumas of the Time War, I didn't think she have the intelligence and resourcefulness to win a place in his heart next to Sarah Jane or Romana II, the two past companions who it would appear he had relationships that ran deeper than just friendship. And while I enjoy The Girl In The Fireplace, it’s main flaw is that I don’t really buy that the Doctor would seemingly fall for Madame Pompadour as quickly as he does – again I can see why he wants to whisk her away in the TARDIS – she has many of the qualities of Sarah and Romana but the gloss that there was love blossoming there just seemed too much to soon. But as I said, I’m not against the idea in principle. For example, you can see why he’s going to become River Song’s ‘old man’, as she’s obviously his sort of girl!

However what we have in this adventure is a different kettle of fish. For this is a love that is as deep as that we associate with Cupid’s arrows but it’s far more than the usual hearts and flowers. This is the Doctor meeting the human embodiment of his beloved Ship; as his oldest companion, his real home, the TARDIS is part of who he is. Yes, The Doctor’s Wife is a love story of sorts, but it’s not one that trivialises who the Doctor is by giving him a conventional love interest as a gimmick. Rather it’s an exploration of what the TARDIS means to the Doctor, and most deliciously, vice versa.

Now in the various books and short stories produced in the Who cannon, there has long been the idea that as well as being somehow alive and in some fashion intelligent, the TARDIS is also sentient and that they are as much grown as built. Indeed in the Eight Doctor series of novels we have the concept that in the future (well, the future that was to be before the Time War) TARDII would evolve beyond taking the form of inanimate objects and manifest as sentient beings.

Furthermore, fans have evolved a theory that the TARDIS takes the Doctor to specific places rather than just being somewhat erratic in where it lands. An early piece of ‘evidence’ for this is way back in the First Doctor’s time. In The Massacre, the Doctor’s companion back then Steven meets a girl called Anna Chaplet and it would appear she perishes in the titular tragedy. And Steven is most grieved that the Doctor is content to allow history to play out. However as they are arguing the TARDIS lands, apparently randomly, in present day London and a young woman enter, one Dodo Chaplet… Seemingly the TARDIS had sensed Steven’s grief and materialises at exactly the right time for his to meet one of descendants, proving that she survived the massacre.

Now then The Doctor’s Wife confirms both the above theories that have accreted over the years. And it does so in a wonderful fashion – solidly there in the script, yet not the main focus of the story.

The inclusion of all these little nods and winks, not to mention the new hints revealed will certainly play well to all those who love the show. But the story is so well crafted that causal viewers will equally enjoy encountering the conceits the plot is built around for the first time. Mr Gaiman has pulled off the perfect balance of an adventure that will appeal to both those steeped in Who lore and those who can’t recite the titles of Dalek episodes in order. As I said in my spoiler-less review, it is the a love letter to the series, but one that everybody can read.

And much has been made of the fact that this story is a wonderful stand alone adventure, but I do wonder it is as self contain as it first appears. Are the echoes of Totter’s Lane foreshadowing a new beginning for the Doctor? Remember, Moffat has promised us 'a game changing cliff-hanger'…

Also I do suspect we haven’t seen the last of Idris, or rather I can see the TARDIS taking on human form again for a chat, although her dialogue suggests that it might not be to speak with the Doctor...

And to briefly open the TARDIS doors while in the wild vortex of speculation – the Corsair? Piratical sounding handle isn't it. And what do pirates wear? Eye patches… Now we know he changed gender…

...But enough of that! Probably nonsense!

DOCTOR WHO 5.12/13 - The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang

Spoilers will fall!

(Apologies for any typos but this was written at high speed after the credits rolled! And I'll probably revise this after I've had some more time to reflect on it...)

Well it’s been a glorious three and a bit months, but all good things must come to an end. This series of Doctor Who has had many mountains to climb; a new production team and, more importantly, a new Doctor have all had to win viewers’ hearts. And for my money, Moffat and Smith have largely succeeded; we’ve had a season that has been the most solid yet – true not every story is a gold plated classic, but across the board the stories have been stronger, the writing tighter and the budget better spent. However the final test remains – can this series deliver a truly satisfying grand finale?

Previously the pattern generally has been a great set up followed by an irritating conclusion. And largely this has been due to Russell T Davies being on script duties; while he has many strengths as a writer, delivering proper conclusion that make sense has always been something of a weak spot for him. Even before he landed the job of bring back Doctor Who, his previous work showed this; indeed my main reservations on hearing he was going to take the wheel of the good ship Who was that I’d found the endings to Queer As Folk and The Second Coming deeply unsatisfying affairs that didn’t do justice to the exemplary scripting of the rest of the shows. And unfortunately his Who finales have been more of the same, hammering the reset button with a huge deus ex machine and serving up sentiment and spectacle in lieu of any proper narrative sense.

However Steven Moffat is a very different kettle of Saturnyians, and this can be clearly seen from the way in he has approached not just the finale but the plotting of the series’ on-going storyline. While the Cracks appearing in most episodes (and in the real universe too it would seem) has been similar to the old RTD method – i.e. drop in a reference (e.g. ‘bad wolf’, ‘torchwood’) and call it an story arc – there has been a lot more going on to that ties all the episodes together and to brings us to the finale. To begin there have been other recurring motifs; the talk of perception filters and the appearance of the First Doctor, but more importantly there has been a greater sense of continuity between the stories, with the consequences of the previous adventure visible in the next.

All in all, rather than the anthology of adventures that have a few hints of the series end we have previously received, this series actually possesses a proper over arching plot. The extended opening sequence of The Pandorica Opens makes this clear – and I’m sure that like myself, many of you readers took the hint and have been rewatching the previous episodes this week. And what a rewarding experience that has proved to be – there are lots of clues and thematic goodies to pick up on; we have numerous references to fairy tales, the Doctor and boxes, how time may be rewritten and a running thread that there is something very wrong with Amy Pond’s life.

Now, true to form, the opening part of the finale was a cracker, full of surprises and building up to a massive three pronged cliff hanger. When the credits rolled we have the Doctor imprisoned, Amy dying and all the stars in the universe going nova. Better still though, there was no ‘Next Time’ trailer and the teasers that surfaced later in the week consisted solely of shots from what we had already seen. Fan speculation on the interwebs went crazy with all manner of bizarre theories being debated – is River Song a future incarnation of the Doctor? Or is she the Doctor’s daughter now grown up? Or does Amy grow up to be River Song? Plus everybody has been wondering about the mysterious voice heard in the TARDIS – is it Davros, Omega, The Beast, Sutekh or some other big bad from Who history or just an echo of Prisoner Zero?

But although it’s been fun to explore such speculations, another running theme of this series has been misdirection and so when the credits for The Pandorica Opens rolled, the only firm prediction I was willing to make would be that The Big Bang is going to deliver surprises that few will have seen coming… However having rewatched several episodes, I was fairly sure that we would be revisiting some scenes for a second time and I was praying that the issue of the returning jacket in Flesh and Stone wouldn’t just turn out to be a continuity error…

Right then so how did everything pan out in the end? Well for me, The Big Bang nicely resolved the situation that The Pandorica Opens had set up. While some may say the concept of rebooting the universe from the restoration field is a little on the rabbit from the hat side of plotting, but really we knew he was going to do it somehow and it would have to involve a plot device that verges on the magical. But the arcane properties of the Pandorica technology are neither here nor there, the key thing is how it was utilised in the tale itself. And on that front, this finale gets a pass, for rather than a quick reset button at the end that undoes everything that has gone before - Last of the Time Lords I AM looking at you - as this particular restoration is carefully worked up to throughout the episode. Everything that has happened, stays happened, and it comes at the cost of the Doctor’s place in history.

Of course he doesn’t get erased, and the solution to this other dilemma had been seeded throughout the preceding dozen episodes. And this is why this finale was so satisfying - it wasn’t just a last big, high octane adventure to end on, it was the conclusion of the entire series, of all the hints and motifs that had been built up over the last three months.

As I’ve said before this has been a very solid series in terms of quality, but as it turns out this run of episodes actually fits together beautifully into one huge narrative. It has been so dexterously plotting that I’m really looking forward to watching it all in sequence now, as there will be lots we missed or didn’t realise were as relevant as they’ve turned out to be. For example, I’m seeing the end of Victory of the Daleks - namely the power of Bracewell’s memories - in a whole new light now.

Alright we didn’t the answers to the questions of who River Song actually is or the enigmatic Voice and Silence, nor was there anything about perception filters or the First Doctor. But I half expected that some things would be left unsolved - the level of detail in the plotting of this series led me to believe that some of the hints in this series would be Moffat laying down the beginnings of future plot lines. After all, in many ways the plot arc of this series actually begins in Tennant’s last series with his Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead episodes.

But this series has been more than just a story arc, for as well as the plot points, there has been character development and an almost literary approach to the themes in the stories - Moffat hasn’t just been telling stories but reflecting on their importance, on the value of fairy tales and fables, of imagination and on the stories we chose to tell ourselves.

THE REGENERATION GAME (Round 2) - Of Clowns & Dandies

Right folks, it’s the start of another two parter this week, and as I’m sticking with my policy of not reviewing multi episode stories until they are complete, that can only mean one thing… Yes, it’s time for… THE REGENERATION GAME – Round Two

Now then, where were we? Ah, yes – in our attempt to catalogue the many faces of the Doctor, last time we had ascertained that the First Doctor’s era yields up three actors in the role and confusingly two incarnations (see Round One for details on that apparent paradox). So then, let's travel back to the dying moments of The Tenth Planet, and just imagine the the original viewers' shock and surprise when dear old William Hartnell’s features began to shift and blur, transforming into…


THE SECOND DOCTOR



Played by Patrick Troughton, the second incarnation of our favourite Time Lord was a younger man, though still no spring chicken. Now this Doctor is far more like his later versions – the slightly dotty sometimes grumpy grandfather figure has been replaced with an impish fellow whose clowning masks a ferocious intellect and a crusading morality.

The First Doctor was a very traditional sort of hero; a wise old man figure who wouldn’t be out of place next to Victorian heroes like Professor Challenger. But the Second Doctor, whether through accident or design, turned out to be cut from more contemporary cloth. With his Beatles moptop hair and scruffy clothes, Troughton’s Doctor would have blended in well with the beatniks and proto-hippies of 1966. And his delight in causing chaos for authority figures, his constant ribbing of the pompous and powerful, and his love of freedom show that this Doctor was reflecting the social revolutions that were in the air at the time as well as the clouds of pot smoke and incense.

And in the production office, change was also afoot; the Second Doctor’s era sees the show refine its core elements, bringing the format closer to the show as we now know it. The team dynamic the series started with has now receded, and the stories are firmly focused on the Doctor as the hero proper. The subgenre of historical stories comes to an end in Troughton’s early adventures with The Highlanders and monsters become the order of the day. Indeed it is in the three Troughton series, with their moody shadows and the establishment of the ‘base under siege’ trope, that Doctor Who first gained its reputation as a terrifyier of children; earning the repuation of being the show you watched from behind the sofa. And finally, it is during Troughton’s reign that the sonic screwdriver first makes an appearance.

And Troughton’s portrayal of the Doctor has been equally influential; new boy Matt Smith cites the Second Doctor as a big influence on his conception of the role, and he's not the first. Indeed, Troughton would appear to be the actors’ favourite Doctor and it is easy to see why. His version of the Doctor masterfully blends together all the elements we have come to expect from our Time Lord hero – the eccentric humour, the warm heart, the scientific genius and the passionate righting of wrongs. It’s just a shame that many of his performances we can only hear now.

For those of you who don’t know, unfortunately many episodes of the First and Doctor’s stories are now missing, and probably lost forever. In the ‘60s and ‘70s, many programs in the BBC archives were wiped so the tapes could be reused, and to cut storage costs. Much was lost, and infamously among the culls were many episodes from early Doctor Who. In some cases, whole stories vanished and others were left missing a several parts.

Needless to say that many have seen this as terrible short-sightedness on the part of the BBC, but in fairness you have to remember that at the time, it was quite rare to programs to be repeated. I know that sounds astonishing now, but it is only in the early ’80s that repeating shows became common practice as a cheap means of filling airtime - previously programs were only usually repeated if they were remarkably popular. And it was only into the latter half of the ‘80s that the closely entwined trends of nostalgia and cult emerged as cultural forces.

Plus, back when they were wiping the tapes, no one had foreseen the rise of the home video recorder, let alone the future market of people buying their own copies of television shows and films. So as maddening as it is, we shouldn’t judge the BBC too harshly – yes, it was a horrendous mistake but at the time when the decisions were made they were not simply being stupid.

However, the BBC did retain complete recordings of all the audio track of all the episodes and numerous telesnaps - photos printed from the video. So at least we can listen to the missing adventures, which the BBC has released on CD with added narration, usually supplied by one of the cast, to fill in details the audio is missing. Also using the telesnaps and various publicity stills, fans have reconstructed missing episodes on video. For the DVD releases, the BBC has released a three disc set Lost in Time which collects together all remaining episodes of the missing stories plus any other surviving clips. And for the release of Cybermen classic The Invasion, the BBC hired Cosgrove Hall to create animated versions of that story’s missing two installments. It was an experiment which actually worked out very well but sadly doesn’t look likely to be repeated due to the expense *sigh*.

But enough of this lamenting Video Tapes Past and back to the Second Doctor. Interestingly, the term ‘regeneration’ is not used at any point in the switch over between Hartnell and Troughton. The new Doctor also doesn’t state that this is an ability of his people, he simply says it’s a process related to the TARDIS leaving us still rather in the dark. Remember at this stage, we don’t know he is a Time Lord and the script doesn’t deliver any rationale other than the change is somehow related to the Doctor being an alien. It’s only much later in the show’s history that the words ‘regeneration’ and ‘incarnation’ enter the lore.

On screen, the transforming process is dubbed ‘a renewal’, and this omission of the usual ‘r’ word has led to an interesting theory - as this isn’t called regeneration formally, perhaps this is not actually a new incarnation of the Doctor but a younger version of Hartnell. Yes, I know there are significant physical differences between the two men, but as the new Doctor is markedly more youthful, the audience of the day could well have interpreted the change as a rejuvenation rather than a metamorphosis. Remember that back then they wouldn’t necessarily expect two actors playing the same role at different ages to closely resemble each other as much has we do, mainly due to the huge advances in make-up between now and then.

Now it’s an intriguing notion that what we consider to be the Second Doctor is actually a younger version of the original, First Doctor 1.2 (or 1.3 counting Cushing)as it were. But in the light of what we now know, and more tellingly the interaction between the First and Second Doctors in the team-up stories of The Three Doctors and The Five Doctors it seems clear that this is not the case, despite what it may have looked like at the time.

As for the Doctor’s secrecy on the process, we can easily rationalise in the context of the character’s history. When we get to The War Games, Troughton’s finale, we finally learn something of his background. We discover he is a Time Lord, and more to the point he’s been on the run from them after ‘borrowing’ his TARDIS. Furthermore we discover that he began his travels to escape the boredom of Time Lord society and consequently when he feels he must contact them to sort out the temporal mess caused by the War Lords, he is put on trial for breaking their cardinal laws of not inferring in history or the affairs of other races.

Hence throughout his First and Second incarnations, he never even dares mention them because he is well aware of he is breaking these laws. Being almost omnipotent beings whose society revolves around observing and recording all time, you can see that it would be a big threat to the Doctor’s continued freedom if people throughout time and space were chattering about that funny Time Lord and his blue box who turned up and sorted everything out.

So naturally he wouldn’t explain his ability to regenerate for the same reasons. And also we can rationalise the fact that he gives his companions Ben and Polly no hint that he is going to regenerate as he isn’t sure himself he can while away from his home world. Hence his remark about the TARDIS being part of the process – and apparently it does play a significant part in the regeneration, as most Doctor’s on their last legs try to make it back to the console room, but more on this later.

Quick Theory Time - the First Doctor sported a blue stoned ring, which he valued highly and seemed to possess some mysterious powers. However the Second Doctor quickly ditches it without a second thought. So possibly, was the ring a reservoir of some kind of Time Lord power – either the artron energy that drives the TARDIS or the bio-energy released in the regeneration process? And so after the regeneration, the ring's reserves were completely depleted and therefore now worthless?

However the closing episodes of The War Games does clear up another element of the lore. They definitively reveal the origin of the TARIDS; contrary to the hints we recieved in the preceding six series, it turns out that he is not the inventor of the TARDIS, and in fact he *ahem* borrowed it. And so extending our line of logic a little further, it makes sense that in the past he has allowed his companions to believe he was its creator; no doubt partly so they don’t think they are travelling with a thief but mainly to avoid awkward questions about his background. (And to look behind the curtain for a moment, we should note that this story originally aired in 1969, a good three years after the last AARU big screen adaption hence in the films the Cushing Doctor is the inventor of his TARDIS.)

And all this caution and secrecy over his origins is more than justified when we consider the punishment for meddling in history the Time Lords mete out – he's stripped of his knowledge of time travel, exiled to Earth, and most seriously, forced to regenerate. Now when you remember that later stories introduced the rule that Time Lords can only regenerate twelve times, being forced to give up an incarnation prematurely is a very severe sentence.

However there is a certain fuzziness over the transformation from Troughton to Pertwee. Like The Tenth Planet, The War Games doesn’t refer to the process as regeneration. What actually happens is that when the Doctor protests being exiled to Earth, seemingly spouting the first objection that come to mind he complains that they can’t maroon him there as ‘people known me there’ and hence the Timelords rule that his appearance will be changed and there is actualy no mention of the 'r' word again.

Now from a production point of view, the Time Lords' sentence was a great device to allow the lead actor to be changed once more. But it is interesting to note that even at this stage the show’s mythology still hadn’t developed the concept of regeneration as we know it; while The Tenth Planet establishes that the Doctor can regenerate but there’s no hint that he can do this more than once. It is surprising though that when Troughton announced he wanted to leave the role, the production team didn’t leap to the logic assumption and just having him mortally injured and regenerate a second time.

Now while we could assume that the script writers simply didn't want to pull the same trick twice, we must also consider why The War Games introduces us to the Time Lords in the first place. At this handover of the sonic screwdriver, they weren’t just replacing the Doctor but essentially doing a soft reboot of the series as a whole. And the Time Lords’ sentence is the plot mechanism not just to recast the lead role but to explain the coming changes in the format…


THE THIRD DOCTOR



While the move into the Troughton era saw Doctor Who gradually developing the show’s templates, going into the Pertwee years saw the show practically regenerating like the Doctor himself. Firstly when Who returned in 1970 it was now in colour but there were further changes were in the format and style of the show. The Doctor was now earthbound, and bar the occasional off world adventure (usually a mission from the Time Lords or the Doctor briefly getting his TARDIS to work), was fending off various sci-fi threats to the world. Now working for UNIT as their scientific advisor, the show absorbed many of the tropes of the late 60s/early ‘70s spy boom, and consequently the Pertwee era closely resemebles the ITC action serials of the day.

The Doctor gains a new arch enemy, one that is a criminal mastermind rather an another aggressive alien race, the Master and it is here that the sonic screwdriver really comes into its own. During the Troughton years, it was becoming an iconic prop associated with the character like Sherlock Holmes’ magnifying glass, but in the Pertwee era it became the all singing, all dancing gadget du jour, acquiring a extra functions as and when the script required (though without ever turning into the magic wand of RTD new Who).

While still very much the same eccentric scientist, the Third Doctor also boasted a raft of new skills for the changing times and milieu. The Doctor has become a dashing man of action; the closest the character as ever got to being a two-fisted tough guy. This Doctor is handy in fight, karate chopping bad guys left, right and centre thanks to his Venusian Aikido and rather being chased down corridors he’s far more likely to be jumping onto the nearest vehicle and doing some hot pursuit of his own. Hence in this period, the show acquired its own dedicated stunt team – ‘Action by HAVOC’ as the credits proudly proclaimed.

The Third Doctor’s outfits see him more in sync with the heroes of the day too; he’s as sharp as dresser as Steed from The Avengers, Number 6 from The Prisoner and Jason King from Department S. But also his wardrobe reflects the groovy threads of the times, the frock coats and capes mirroring the Victorian and Edwardian fashions popularised by Swinging London emporiums like Granny Takes a Trip. Indeed The Third Doctor is one of the only two men on the planet who can look good in a ruffle fronted shirt – and the other is Jimi Hendrix.

Weirdly though, the Third Doctor’s hip dress sense was entirely accidental. When Jon Pertwee landed the role, some publicity shoots for the Radio Times were organised. At the first Pertwee was wearing an ordinary suit (click here to see a pic from this shoot) and had him arsing about with a Yeti, but for the second he raided the family dressing box (the Pertwees had had show biz in the blood for several generations) and assembled the now familiar frock coat, frilly shirt and cape ensemble. Now, Pertwee himself expected a slapped wrist from the production office for posing for the press in such ridiculous garb, but they actually loved it and it helped the writers shape the new incarnation’s character as a gentlemen adventurer.

This Doctor was also more forthright in character as well as action. For example, now he has no qualms about revealing his alien nature, indeed where once he never dared to breathe a word about the Time Lords now he rarely shuts up about them. Presumably now the Time Lords know where he is there is no need for the tight lipped approach of his previous incarnations. Admittedly when he speaks of them now, it’s usually to complain about them taking away his powers to travel time and space but there is also a shift in his attitudes; now he openly declares himself to belong to that race of ‘galactic ticket inspectors’ and is very quick to flaunt his advanced alien nature to the earthlings. Whereas the Second Doctor was happy to play the clown in order to disguise the fact that he was the smartest guy in the room, the Third will leave you in doubt about his vast intellect and superior knowledge.

And the Doctor is now more biologically alien too – it is in his first outing (Spearhead From Space) that we first learn that Time Lords possess two hearts. And this little titbit of lore does cause a bit of a continuity problem as previously the First was subject to medical examinations that didn’t turn up an unexpected second heart. Fan speculation has suggested that Time Lords gain a second heart during their first regeneration, but as the Second was also been subject to doctor’s tests which also didn’t reveal anything non-human in his physiognomy, this cannot be the case.

Now the best explanation for this anomaly I’ve found comes from the excellent About Time series of episode guides by Tat Wood and Lawrence Miles – which I heartily endorse tracking down if you are enjoying these rambles on the show. In Volume 2, which covers the Second Doctor’s era, there is an essay which explores this conundrum and the learned gentlemen conclude that logically the Doctor gets his second heart in the post-trial forced regeneration. Furthermore they theorise from what is said in later stories that all Time Lords are in fact born with two hearts and the Doctor’s atrophied and/or stopped working when he fled Gallifrey. The basis for this coming from material in the novel ranges that suggest that a Time Lord’s second heart serves as a link to their home world, and so the second heart stopped functioning when he fled Gallifrey in the same way that his telepathic link with the Time Lords was severed (as mentioned in the Tom Baker story The Invisible Enemy). Hence it is only after he is reunited with his people and the second heart has been renewed that we get to hear about it.

Now while still on the continuity tip, the Third Doctor’s run introduces some other key elements. Although we had met the Time Lords in The War Games and heard much about them from the Third Doctor, it is not until his last series, in The Time Warrior, that we actually learn their planet is called Gallifrey - which is somewhat unusual as we’d had a return trip to the Time Lord’s home world in the previous season’s The Three Doctors.

However the really major additions to the lore come in Pertwee’s swansong Planet of the Spiders. For it is here that we finally get a change of Doctors that is clearly and explicitly labelled regeneration – thank Rassilion! It’s incredible really that it took the show a whopping ELEVEN series to get here. However even here, although the script tels us that regeneration is one of the extraordinary abilities of the Time Lords, it isn't clear whether this is a natural ability or a proces they have created as the dying Third Doctor needs the psychic help of his fellow Time Lord (and former mentor) Kanpo to get the cooking started.

So then regarding the questions we started this series of articles with - the number of Doctors who have appeared on screen and how many actors have played him – these next two television Doctors are fairly clear cut compared the multiple bodied First. Arguably you could claim that there is another actor in the Pertwee role, as being the man of action he often was being played by a stunt double, usually Terry Walsh of Havoc. However stunt doubles don’t really count in my book.

So let’s have a look at the scores on the doors…

So far we have 4 versions of the Doctor, comprising of 3 incarnations and one alternate universe Doc, and are now up to a whopping 5 actors in the role.

Next time on THE REGENERATION GAME - What do you mean? Hartnell wasn't the first?!?

Didn't he do well!