HYPNOGORIA 170 - Tardis Tuners & Zone Boxes

In this episode we pay a visit to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat to investigate some very rare and rather weird items of science fiction merchandise! First we ask what exactly was a TARDIS Tuner? And why had it never actually appeared in Doctor Who? Then we investigate the  Zone Box, a piece of tie-in tat for The Twilight Zone that is as bizarre as it is obscure! 

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MICROGORIA 77 - Which Witch is Haunting Ghost Castle

In this podcast we take a trip down the more disreputable end of Memory Lane, to the ramshackle edifice that lurks just behind the Great Library of Dreams... The 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Inside we uncover the twisted history of a classic board game featuring ghosts, ghouls and witches, known variously over the years as Which Witch, Haunted House and Ghost Castle.

For pictures of the various incarnations of this game visit here   

DIRECT DOWNLOAD - Which Witch is Haunting Ghost Castle

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HYPNOGORIA HOME DOMAIN - Full archive, RSS feed and other useful links

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THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - The Rise and fall of the Fiendish Feet Part II

Welcome back dear fiends to another rummage in the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Last time we recounted the glorious ascent of the Fiendish Feet, an early '90s spooky snack that rose to dominate the world! Well, the chiller cabinets of your local Asda anyhow... However all empires fall, and despite being seemingly unstoppable, time was running out for the Fiendish Feet...

For three glorious years, the Feets marched on, an unstoppable force of horror and bad puns. But of course things were to come to an abrupt end in 1992. And what finished the Foots wasn't the rise of some rival product, but an enemy within. Freaky faces and painful punning names aside, the real draw of the Fiendish Feet were, well, their feet! People liked this funny yogurt pots that totter on two little legs, and so what did St. Ivel do in the black year of AD 1992? That's right, they ditched the charming pot with legs design. Yes, St. Ivel had became St. Evil, and committed the cardinal sin of changing a successful format.

In November 1991, they had launched yet another spin-off range, this time jumping on the  then very fashionable fromage frais bandwagon. Basically dairy firms had realised they could sell less yogurt, in smaller pots, and for the pretty much the same price, and therefore maximise profits from the gullible public who didn't realise that it was just a thicker yogurt and not the proper cheese derived French dish at all. And so, we got Fiendish Feet Fromage Frais - little mini-pots, weighing in at only 50g, and sold in packs of three not four. This diminutive trio consisted of Tiddly Wink (raspberry), Masked Menace (apricot*), and Sneaky Beaky (strawberry). Now thanks to their smaller size, these pots didn;t have the well loved, and indeed well moulded, pair of legs and feet. Instead the lower half of the pots were contoured to give the impression of two legs. And frankly it just wasn't the same.

However St. Evil, I mean, St. Ivel thought differently. Perhaps the pots were cheaper to make this way. Anyhow they pushed ahead with this new format in 1992, and introduced the pretend leg contoured pots to the main range. However some one had an inkling that this change wasn't going to play well with the Feet Faithful, and hence the final two rangers were rebranded as Fiendish Faces. Firstly we has the "Real Fruit Yoghurt" range - which saw the original foursome reborn. And then later there was a range of Fiendish Faces Freezable Mousses in August 1992. But this was to be the final end for the Fiendish Feet. 

For not only had their raison d'etre, their legs and foots, gone, but this final range couldn't be bothered to do a range of flavours. Yes, we had four new characters - Snow Joke, Freddy Frostbite, Drip Dastardly and Eski Moan - but the trouble was they were all strawberry flavour. And hence unsurprisingly the range came to an end. After all, what is the big deal about being able to freeze a mousse anyway? It might be handy for parents doing the once a month big shop, but hardly a selling point for their spawn. 

But that wasn't quite the end, the Fiendish Faces once again reappeared  in the late 1990s. However this return was to be short -lived, as they returned in their smaller fake leg contour pots, again losing their own fiendish USP. Likewise these made a similar error in pitching to grown-up rather than kids. These were "bio pots" - now that might be a big magic buzz word for the kind of people who wanted "and this was made with fruits that agreed to be the dessert in the first place" assurances all over the packaging, not cartoon monsters and bad joke names. They are generally of the opinion food just have lots of sciency sounding words on it, and picture something natural like a picture of a twig on it. Meanwhile the only things bio that might excite the average kid are bionics and biological warfare. And with that double fail the revived Fiendish Faces vanished rather quickly.

However if they'd brought back the pots with proper legs and feet... Well, that could be a different story....

For the full history of Fiendish Feet, do visit http://www.radiofeeds.co.uk/fiendish/  which has pictures of all the characters and lots of the merchandise! You'll believe a bumbag can have fiendish feet!

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THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - The Rise and Fall of the Fiendish Feet Part I

Welcome back dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Now then when scholars of the scary gather together and talk of horror themed tat aimed at kids, generally the 1970s and early 1980s steal the limelight. Conversations revolve around spooky snacks such as Horror Bags crisps, Mummies sweets, and Haunted House lollies. However in 1989, several strange creatures waddled into our fridges and would haunt chiller cabinets throughout the '90s - the dreaded Fiendish Feet! 

No one really knows where these bizarre creations came from - were they the result of some cheap charlie fuelled meltdown in a marketing office kitchen? Did some bright spark reckon they could create the dairy equivalent of the popular and long-running snack Monster Munch? Or were they merely the product of some boffin announcing that plastic moulding had advanced to a point where you could make yogurt pots with feet? Who knows! Perhaps it's a mystery best left unsolved. However what we can confirm was that the Fiendish Feet range were made by leading purveyor of dairy and dessert products St. Ivel. 

As we have mentioned in other explorations of assorted novelty themed snacks, in the '90s there was a distinct shift in the casual eating market. While in previous decades assorted sweets, snacks and munchies had been designed to appeal to kids, in the late '80s some one, probably a hideous yuppie, had the revelation that the pocket money market wasn't where the big bucks were. After all, kids had very little money - they were paupers and povs when you thought about it! They'd didn't even have a filofax, nevermind a ten grand performance bonus burning a hole in their pockets! And so increasingly the snack market set its sights on the grown-ups, and one resulting boom area was posh ice creams for grown ups, and supposedly healthier snacks in the shape of assorted low fat yogurts and mousses. 

So then in this context, it is all the more bizarre that in November 1989 a quartet of weird beings appeared in stores. Sold in multi-packs of four, the Fiendish Feet had arrived. The original four flavours were Spooky Wooky (banana flavour), Fangs a Lot (strawberry flavour), Frank 'n' Stein (raspberry flavour), and Rattle 'n' Roll (chocolate flavour). Weighing in at 125g per pot, they were a decent sized yogurt, no health food thimble servings here, and despite being low-fat, they sported some classic tasty flavours.

Despite their somewhat bizarre concept and appearance, Fiendish Feet quickly became a huge hit. And more bizarre two legged horrors were soon scuttling into fridges across the land. Firstly poor old Fangs Alot would often be given some time off, and have some seasonal substitutes taking his place in the multipacks - a snowman themed beastie called Ivor Cold Toe (strawberry) at Christmas, and the self explanatory Hot Cross Bunny (also strawberry) taking over his spot at Easter.

A second range soon followed too. Called "Dairy Desserts" this was a second multipack featuring new characters - Howling Wilf (banana), Horrible Herman (strawberry), and Pharaoh Nuff (chocolate flavour). Meanwhile Dooya Finkisaurus brought us a new flavour - toffee apple. Oddly Pharoah Nuff was later replaced by a character called Slurpy Burpy, and no one is sure why. Possibly because they'd misspelled "pharaoh" and feared the ire of the nation's teachers. That's not a fact, but I'm going with it...

In July 1990, a third wave of Fiendish Feet saw St. Ivel changing tack slightly, for this new additional quartet were sold separately, rather than in multipacks of four. This range was dubbed "Monster Mousse" - perhaps the clearest clue we'll ever get that the origin of the Feet was indeed a dairy copy of Monster Munch crisps. Anyhow, this range brought us Tongue Twister on old favourite strawberry flavour, and a return of Pharaoh Nuff, back on toffee duties. But the remaining two of the Monster Mousse quartet were offering brand new flavours - Snortilla the Grunt gave us black currant and Melting Marvin delivered orange.

The following year St. Ivel shook the range up again - this time literally! This new foursome of Fiendish Feet were the Tremblers, which were descripted as "yogurt jelly with sauce". Basically the yogurt came with a fruity syrup sat on the top and the idea was that you gave the pots a good shake to mix the two together before opening. Why they weren't called something more fitting like "Spooky Shakers" I'll never know, but then again I don't like cocaine enough, or indeed at all, to work in a 1990s marketing agency. Anyhow, the Tremblers were - Trembling Trev (strawberry), Flossie Flame  (banana and toffee), Moaning Mummy (orange), and Mesma Eyes  (redcurrant and raspberry).

There was no doubt about it, the Feets were a smash hit and kicking all competition to the kerb. And like many novelty snacks of yesteryear, there were various offers to get assorted Fiendish Feet tat in the usual collect tokens from the packets deals. There were mugs, fridge magnets, bumbags, and storybooks. And at one point, probably drunk on the success of the Feets, some bright spark tried to expand the range into savoury spreads with the creation of Cheesey Wheesey. Sadly the cheese-based variety didn't catch on, leaving poor old Cheesy Wheesey as the only one of his kind.

There was seemingly no stopping the march of the pint-sized fiends. However it was not to last! In the shadows, an enemy lurked, a fearsome foe that would bring down the empire of the Feets...

NEXT TIME - Discover who killed the Fiendish Feet!

* where baby chimps sleep.

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THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Who Trumped?

Welcome back dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! A few weeks ago we were rummaging in the games cupboard and unearthed a fondly remembered deck of cards that was essentially a set of Marvel superhero Top Trumps. They were made by the toy company Jotastar, who held a great many licenses to produce spin-off and tie-in tat for a variety of kid-friendly franchises and properties. However this Marvel card game was not their only foray in the twilight world of exactly-like-Top-Trumps-except-in-name-only card games. For in 1978 they produced another suspiciously Trump-like card game but tied to another legendary fictional universe - Doctor Who.

Back in 1978, Doctor Who was enjoying one of its many golden ages, for this was the era of the Fourth Doctor. And not only was Tom Baker's incarnation of the Time Lord that delighting the kids with his own brand of anarchy, humour and jelly babies. He was teamed up with popular companion (and in particular very popular with the Dads watching), Leela, she of the handy dagger and tribal garb, plus at that time was just coming to the end of a run of particularly scarifying stories, which had greatly expanded the Who canon of iconic monsters and villains. 

Now the card game produced by Jotastar was assembled by using pretty much the same template as their Marvel game, with the same rules being were used with minor tweaks here and there. Aside from the rules text being rewritten to include references to the long running  SF show, there was a slight change to the stats on the cards - while we still had the attributes Special Powers and Weapons, just like the Marvel deck, instead of Physical Strength we now had Mental Ability - a fitting change as the Doctor tends to outthink his enemies rather than throw buses at them.

Just like the Marvel game, you could divide the pack into to halves and play the good guys vs the baddies. However it is here that this game goes a little weird. For over the years the Doctor has had a long line of companions and assistants, plus he has met a host of good characters who have helped him out, such as the Brigadier, assorted Time Lords, Thals, and so forth. However somewhat weirdly, in the Heroes list the only familiar faces we have are the Doctor himself (obviously) and the TARDIS.  And instead of other characters from the show's history, we have the following - 

HEROES
Alexander the Great
Annie Oakley
Boadicea
Chaka King of the Zulus
Colonel James Bowie
Davy Crockett
Doctor Who
Geronimo
Hercules
King Arthur
Lord Nelson
Parthian Warrior
Robin Hood
Samson
Sherlock Holmes
Shiao Chi Samurai Warrior
Spartacus
The TARDIS
Thor
Wyatt Earp

Yes for some reason it was decided that famous historical characters should be the good guys. The rules refer to this disparate group as "the Legendary Legion". Now firstly it is only right and proper to question why we have mythological characters (such as Thor) and fictional folks (Sherlock Holmes) rubbing shoulders with actual historical personages. But to kids back in the 1970s the more important question was "Why the hell are this lot in here? They were never in the show!". Well alright, Wyatt Earp had appeared in an First Doctor Story The Gunslingers, back when the show still did purely historical stories without any alien monsters in. But even so, that was back in 1966, well before most of the target audience would have been able to remember, or even been born. So then, here was a Doctor Who game in which nearly the half the cards had bugger all to do with Doctor Who.

On the whole, looking at the selection of characters in the deck, I rather suspect the deck was devised by someone who had never seen the show properly - which would explain the good guys being pulled from history books. And as for the Aliens selection, it looks like they just went through the seminal Target tie-in tome The Doctor Who Monster Book which was first published back in November 1975 (and you can read about it here). And hence, there are no monsters more recent that Tom Baker's first season (Davros and the Zygons). However while it was suspicious there were no newer monsters and villains, in all fairness  it is a rather good list of famous foes! 

ALIENS

Davros
Gellguards
Omega
Sea Devils
The Autons
The Axons
The Cybermen
The Daemons
The Draconians
The Giant Robot
The Ice Warriors
The Mechanoids
The Ogrons
The Sensorites
The Silurians
The Sontarans
The Spiders of Metebelis
The Wirrn
The Yeti
The Zygons

However there is an obvious anomaly - for although we do have their creator, Davros, their hired muscle, the Ogrons, and two races they fought bloody and bitter wars with, the Mechanoids and the Draconians, the Doctor's most famous enemies, the Daleks do not appear,  Possibly this was down to the fact that Terry Nation, who originally created the intergalactic terrors, still owned the copyright to the Daleks, and indeed around this time he was considering various plans featuring the pepperpots from Skaro such as having them appear in Blake's 7 and developing a separate Dalek series.

However judging from some of the attributes given on the cards, it is equally plausible that the Daleks being missing was just a blunder. For it seems clear that not only had whoever devised the set never seen Doctor Who, they were also wildly oblivious to both history and even what was on the cards. For example, Boadicea has a Weapons score of 0 despite being shown waving a dirty great sword and riding in her famous chariot with spiky wheels!

Sadly also the artwork on the cards isn't quite as good as the Marvel pack. Some cards do like rather nice, and it's fun to see familiar faces for Whoniverse rendered in a pseudo comic-book style. On teh downside though, many are clearly copied from very familiar photos (hello again Target's Doctor Who Monster Book) and some look distinctly wobbly. Also as many of photos used as reference were in black and white (spookily enough just as they all were in Target's Doctor Who Monster Book), you can see where the artist has just been guessing what was in the dark, smudgy areas. The Ogron is a great example of this, with clear guesswork filling in many areas of shadowed detail, and the whole picture looking like a ripply funfair mirror reflection. See also the background face on the Spiders from Metebelis card, whose features have been clearly surmised from a blurry photo.

On the whole then, while it seemed like a brilliant concept, sadly this Doctor Who Trump Card Game didn't deliver on its promise. Nor did it live up to its Marvel cousin - while that card game had felt authentic and official, to the extent it was like a little loose leaf encyclopedia or guidebook for the Marvel Universe, the flawed execution of the Doctor Who game clearly marked it out as cash-in tat. Much like the Doctor Who Annuals of the same era (more on which another day) or the previously discussed TARDIS TUNER, while we were happy to have them - there wasn't a lot of merch about back then remember -  at the same time you knew they weren't exactly right; they weren't proper Doctor Who like the Target Books or the Palitoy Talking Dalek. In fact in many ways they were a pale shadow of Doctor Who cards given away free with Weetabix around the time which featured not only better art but an innate understanding of the series (and again, more on those another day)

However despite all that, the set now goes for a hefty price, with many sellers flogging off individual cards for a couple of quid a go. And while my inner collecting geek naturally baulks at breaking up sets and selling off cards one by one in this manner, at the same time I can understand why you might really want, for example, the Sea Devil or Mechanoid cards but be more than happy to pass on the wobbly Ogron... 

If you want to see the set without paying an arm or a leg you can download a copy here - DISCLAIMER - I have no idea about the legality of this

THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Top Marvels! Part II

Last week we learned how in the mid '70s, there were two hot crazes gripping the playgrounds of the UK - Top Trumps cards and Marvel comics. And it was perhaps inevitable that these two titans would not only meet, but be fused together by colossal cosmic forces in a Stan Lee style plot twist!  Well, that was almost the case... For back then Top Trumps were still mainly concentrating on vehicles and military hardware and it would be several years before the brand began to produce packs that were tie-ins to fictional properties such as movies, TV shows or comics. Clearly they were missing a trick here, but in the shadows, other eyes were looking to seal a canny and timely toy licensing deal. 

Those eyes, presumably glowing with the uncanny light of comic-book radiation, or at least the prospect of big money to be made, belonged to Jotastar, a toy maker who would produce a great many tie-in toys for a variety of different kid-friendly properties, from the Mister Men and Hollie Hobby to The Real Ghostbusters and M.A.S.K. Now when it comes to games, rules mechanics are very hard to copyright, mainly because so many share commons ones i.e. roll a die and move that number of spaces, or play a card on your turn etc. Now in the case of Top Trumps, things were even murkier, as that game itself had evolved from earlier card games such as Quartets. Hence you could, quite legitimately produce a game with identical rules, and provided the magic words "Top Trumps" never appeared in the instructions, packaging or marketing there was very little to stop you.

Now while cars and motorbikes undoubtedly had an appeal for kids, Jotastar couldn't help but notice that superhero comics were greatly outselling motoring magazines down the newsagents. And so, in 1977, the Marvel Superheroes Card Game was launched, and news soon spread that there was now a marvel Top Trumps. Of course, that last two words in that sentence very carefully did not appear anywhere in the rulesor marketing, but kids everywhere instantly knew who to play this game - indeed the rules included could have been written in ancient runes of Latvaria and the game would still have sold shed-loads.

The pack itself consisted of forty cards, two a card detailing the rules and another listing all the character in the deck. The pack was divided into two halves, twenty heroes, and twenty villains -  

SUPER-HEROES
Black Bolt
Captain America
Captain Britain
Daredevil
Ghost Rider
Goliath
Invisible Girl
Iron Man
Mr Fantastic
Spider-Man
The Black Panther
The Hulk
The Human Torch
The Mighty Thor
The Silver Surfer
The Sub-Mariner
The Thing
The Vision
The Wasp

VILLAINS
Absorbing Man
Dr Doom
Dr Octopus
Dr Strange
Galactus
Hammerhead
Loki
Mephisto
Morbius
Tarantula
The Abomination
The Dread Dormammu
The Green Goblin
The Gremlin
The Grizzly
The Human Top
The Jackal
The Red Skull
The Rhino
The Vulture
Tiger Shark

The rules of the game suggest dividing the pack into heroes and villains and for two players to have at it. An alternative is also suggested under the banner of GAME TWO - basically a brief couple of lines saying just shuffle the pack and divide it among the players and use the rules for GAME ONE.
However of course many kids came up with their own variant, such as pitting a small team of heroes, like for example all the Fantastic Four and seeing how they fared against an army of villains, or if they could take down their fellow heroes.

Indeed using the stats given on these cards - Physical Strength, Special Powers and Weapons - many a geek argument was settled. And fact-fans, in case you wondering how Civil War would play out in this deck, well it was no contest really - with Iron Man out-gunning Cap in all categories: Physical Strength - 8 vs 7, Special Powers - 5 vs 3, and Weapons 6 vs 5. Yep, Shell-Head wins every time! Now you may argue that these stats were just pulled from the air by some desk jockey at Jotastar, but these cards were OFFICIAL Marvel merch right? They even advertised in the pages of Marvel's flagship comics in the UK, The Mighty World of Marvel as seen below (which even cheekily included the word "Trump" just to ensure everyone knew what they were getting). And what's more you could even send off from a pack from the advert too in case your local toy emporium didn't stock it. 

And hence as they were not only advertised but sold in the pages of Marvel UK comics, this game felt like pretty definitive. Indeed even the rules sound like Stan the Man himself, complete with unnecessary capitals - "a game for challenge for two players in which those Mighty Marvel Super Heroes battle the most awesome array of Vicious Villains ever assembled!". Of course now we may question the actual selection of characters - Grizzly and the Gremlin but no X-persons - but it is a fascinating snapshot of the Marvel Universe as it was back then, an era before the likes of Wolverine, the Punisher and Venom became mega-favourites with the fans.

Back in the 1970s however, in an age before Wikipedia, and lavish coffee-table books on comics lore and history, this card game was more than just a fun pastime - it was a secret encyclopaedia of the Marvel universe. Remember that cheesy old song about how a soldier gets out of trouble for having a deck of cards by spinning an elaborate explanation of how the cards all remind him of something in the Bible? Well, that was close to how we felt about the Marvel Super Heroes Card Game, except we really sincere (unlike that soldier in the song who I suspect if he were a Top Trumps card would have stats such as BARE-FACED CHEEK 8 and BULLSHITTING SUPERIORS 9). And this was even more true I think for UK kids, who had only recently discovered this universe thanks to Marvel UK opening as few years earlier. Of course, even back then we knew there omissions - what no Nick Fury or Man-Thing? However this was a close to a guide book to the comics as you were going to get back in the mid-'70s. And hence that what it was to many of us - an encyclopedia with shufflable pages! 

Interesting around the same time, Jotastar would produce a very similar Doctor Who themed deck... But that's a story for another day...

THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Top Marvels! Part I

Welcome back dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! While a new year may well be beckoning, rest assured that all of the crew here at the 'Orrible Old'Ouse have our eyes firmly looking to the past, where things may not have been better but certainly on many occasions were more amusing! Now on this blog, several years ago, we ran a lengthy series on the infamous Horror Top Trumps sets (which may well be resurrected in a new form at some point this year), however they weren't the only cultish decks available. And today we're going to have a look at another must-have pack! 

Now in case you don't know, Top Trumps is an enduringly popular species of card game, and the basics are as follows. Every deck has a theme, such as cars, tanks, animals, and each card features an particular item complete with a picture, sometimes a bit of text, but always with a list of statistics. To play the game, players pick one of these stats from the top card in their hand and compares it with the other players' card. Whoever has the highest or best stat wins that round, with the winner collecting the vanquished cards and adding them to his hand. The game ends when one player has got all the cards (or some one has a massive strop). It's a very easy game to learn, quick to play, and the game has been adapted to many themes over the years, ensuring that no matter what floats your boat, at some point there's been a Top Trumps deck to suit your interests. And yes, there have been adults only naughty decks produced over the years! 

However while the leading brand and game generally goes under the name of Top Trumps, thanks to the way the game evolved - namely being spawned by earlier card games such as Quartets and Ace Trumps (a history which is explained here) - no one company or individual own the copyright. Hence many different companies have produced Top Trumps-a-like games. In fact, even in 1977, the year Dubrec launched Top Trumps in the UK, within months rival companies had started producing their own Trumps-a-like games. And as it happens, one of the coolest decks to own back in the first flowering of Top Trumps mania, and one of the most fondly remembered, wasn't an official Top Trumps deck. 

But to set the scene, we first have to step out of the toy shop, carefully step over that hazardous pile of white dog poo, and pop in the newsagent next door. Just as in America, Britain had a flourishing comics industry entertaining the nation's kids, and just as the market in the US was dominated by two titans, Marvel and DC, weirdly enough,  it was the same state of affairs in the UK, with another DC - DC Thomson, publishers of venerable heavyweight titles such as The Dandy and The Beano, fighting it out with arch rivals IPC for dominance of the British comics market.  However in the 1972 the titanic twosome's fortunes were threatened by the sense-shattering arrival of a bold new outfit. Can you guess who that was true believers? 

Now American comic books had been finding their way to this septic isle for many decades beforehand. Famously in the war-years, US comic books were packed into the crates as padding. However thanks to the vagaries of shipping and having no proper national distribution network, while you could find copies of US comics featuring the likes of Batman and Spider-man in UK shops, it was somewhat a haphazard affair, and the mighty superheroes of Marvel and DC were better known through reprints by UK publishers such as Odhams Press or Alan Class Comics. However these reprint deals had petered out at the end of the 1960s, and hence in the early 1970s, Stan Lee decided it was high time to bring Marvel back to British shores. 

He realised that aside from the expense of shipping comic books to the UK, and lacking a proper means of distribution in Blighty, there was another tricky problem. And that was that UK comics were very different to their US cousins. Rather than been published monthly, British comics appeared weekly. They were twice the size, and rather than featuring the adventures of one character each issue, British comics were anthologies running several strips in every week. With characteristic insight, Stan realised that for Marvel to break the British market, they needed to radically rethink their comics. Like the Skrulls they would have to shapeshift to infiltrate the UK comics scene. And so, Marvel UK was born, an outfit based in that London, but taking orders from the Big Apple, with a remit to publish classic tales from the House of Ideas, but in a format that blended in with the home-grown British titles. Hence in early 1972, a new weekly comic appeared in newsagents up and down the land, The Mighty World of Marvel, which served up adventures featuring The Hulk, Spider-man and The Fantastic Four. 

It was soon joined by Spider-man Comics Weekly later in 1972, with more titles being added to the roster over the next few years. Pete Parker got a second title all to himself, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Superheroes featured tales of the X-Men and the Silver Surfer while The Titans brough British kids the adventures of Captain America, the Sub-mariner, Captain Marvel and the Inhumans. Outside the land of the spandex brigade, Marvel UK also thrilled kids with a Planet of the Apes tie-in comic and more exciting still, delivered spooky action with Dracula Lives that featured a selection from theer horror lines. In 1975 a young chap called Neil Tennant was put in charge - yes, the same Neil Tennant who is now half of the Pet Shop Boys - and his two year reign saw Marvel UK begin to produce their own UK-grown material for the Marvel Universe with the debut of Captain Britain in 1976. 

So then by 1977, the year Top Trumps was released, nay, unleashed upon the nation's kiddiewinks, Marvel UK had a thriving stable of titles and were giving IPC and DC Thomson a run for their money. Plus they had given Britain its very own Marvel superhero to boot! Marvel was no more an exotic import, but was now well and truly part of British pop culture. Now the initial decks in the Top Trumps range were very much vehicle obsessed, with packs themed around cars, motorbikes, tanks and planes. However some bright spark in a rival company noted how these card games were selling like hot cakes and had the smart idea of producing a game that might appeal to something other than the petrolhead market... 

NEXT TIME! Discover how kids in the '70s could play their own version of Civil War decades before Marvel had come up with that epic storyline! 

THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Horror Bags Giveaways Galore (Part III)

Welcome once again dear fiends to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Over the last few weeks we have been exploring the spooky world of Horror Bags, the snacks that went crunch in the night! This range of crisps from the mid 1970s carved out a place in our hearts, but also an eerie empire of their own monstrous merchandise! And in this visit to the archives of the 'Orrible Ouse we are going to take a look at the bestest items Dracula ever offered!

As we have already seen, Horror Bags seemingly always had some mail-order offer going, which followed the then traditional format of collect so many empty bags, plus sometimes a small sum of pocket money, to get the latest proffered ghoulish goodies. However a few packets and a handful of loose change went a long way back in the 1970s... or possibly the ghouls in charge of the Horror Bags merch has miscalculated the exchange rate between the UK and Transylvania. Anyhow, whichever way it was, there was some top-notch tat up for grabs for very little indeed.

And it should also be noted that the gruesome gifts offered by Horror Bags were especially created for the range - it was all bespoke stuff, no shifting of cheaply acquired leftover stock here! A perfect example is the Serpents and Stairs game. Now this marvellously macabre board game, which could be yours for just three empty bags and 30p, was obviously just a horror-themed version of that old family favourite, Snakes And Ladders. But what a gloriously ghoulish redesign it was! Not bad at all for a third of a quid and some litter!

However other giveaways were even more elaborate. The Fiendish Faces kit was a wonderfully simple idea that offered hours of eerie entertainment and imaginative play. Basically the kit consisted of a cadaverous but blank face and a large bag of assorted eyes, noses, eyebrows, lips and fangs. And the idea was that you could create your gruesome ghouls by combining different fearsome features. As I said, a simple concept but one that delivered hours of fiendish fun. And I should know, for although I  never got my grubby little mitts on this particular giveaway, I did have Remus playlist that was very similar - however thanks to the said playkit being too obscure to date, I can't say who borrowed the concept off who.

But perhaps the best ghastly gift offered by Horror Bags was the Identi-Kit game - again yours for just a few wrappers and thirty of your earth pence. And unlike the previous two ghoulish giveaways, this appeared to be a wholly original game. In it were six familiar fiends - the Wolfman, a Skeleton, Dracula, Dracula's Bride, the Mummy, and Frankenstein's Monster. However each of them had sadly suffered a horrific fate - they had been chopped into six pieces. So then, each player got a gravestone to make a tomb, and all the monster body part cards were shuffled into a deck. On your go, you drew a card and tried and reassemble one of the monsters on your tomb... Something that was not quite as easy as it sounded in play.

Again, the concept was a simple one but beautifully executed, and it was a great looking little game that had straightforward rules, challenging gameplay and a great theme and atmosphere. Things that was often very lacking in other board games that cost much much more... Yes, Tank Command I am looking at you! In fact, it a shame that Drac and co., or at least the suits at Smiths hadn't taken the bolder move and had all these marvellous games available in the shops. For with great games like these sold for real pocket money prices, Horror Bags could certainly have given the big boys at Ideal, Denys Fisher and MB a run for their money.

Indeed it is still somewhat surprising to me that given the popularity of the range, Horror Bags were somewhat abruptly phased out. And while their successor to the snacks crown is still around today, even the mighty Monster Munch never boasted such a marvellous array of macabre merchandise and mail-order magic. But you never know, some one might one day resurrect the brand. Let's face it, there a whole range of snacks with the marketing and merch already planned out just waiting to return to the shelves. Plus of course, traditionally Dracula never stays dead in his coffin too long...

THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Horror Bags Giveaways Galore (Part II)

Hello dear fiends and welcome back to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat, a place where your collection of old crisp packets are history - and not in a Mum's just binned them way! This week we are continuing our exploration of the legendary snacks that went cruch in the night, the Horror Bags range from Smiths Crisps. Flourishing for a few marvellous spooky years in the mid 1970s, Horror Bags were a smash hit, and spawned an eerie empire of their own macabre mail order merchandise which you could only get your grubby little mitts on by sending in empty packets (and a smidge of pocket money sometimes). And what was on offer was very good indeed! Last time we looked at the standard stuff - the expected cards, t-shirts and bags, but this time we are looking at the more outre items that were only a mere 28 days for delivery away!  

The Grizzly Growler

Now the 1970s was not only the home decade of Horror Bags but also the golden age of the 7 inch single, and so it perhaps not surprising that records were a common free gift back then. Now obviously slabs of vinyl weren't quite cheap enough to just give away, but that was why the flexi disc was invented. For those of you blessed with enough youth not to remember the days when vinyl was king, a flexi disc was a floppy circle of plastic that had a groove printed on it, and essentially were an ultra-light weight, and hence also ultra-cheap, way of making a single. Now Horror Bags actually did two of these. Or rather it would seem the same disc was released twice. As far as I can tell, one version was a flexi that proclaimed it featured the sound of bats, and was somewhat confusing marketed as the Grizzly Growler mask. Yes, I know bats don't growl. 

To add further bewilderment, the mask wasn't a mask but an admittedly rather nice cardboard print of a snarling vampire which glowed in the dark. And just to muddy the waters even further, the flexi disc that came with it was also reissued later sans the non-mask. However the fun does not end there, for at least one version, if not both judging from some arrows on the packaging, featured the novel innovation that you didn't even need a record player to enjoy this spooky sonics. For each sleeve came with a tiny stylus built-in, so that you could spin the disc yourself by whirling the flexi around with your fingers. Yes, by all accounts it did sound as horrible as you imagine... 

Rather easier on the ears, were a couple of ranges of novelty items that were heavily promoted with tie-ins with popular British comics. In April 1976, if you were to pick up a copy of long running weekly humour comic Whoopee! you could get hold of a Horror Bags Gripper! And what in the name of Frank Windsor was a Gripper I hear you cry? Well, it was a spring-loaded clip, in the shape of a creepy claw, a spooky skull or a bitey version of the Horror Bags Dracula, that well, gripped things.

I am not sure what exactly they were meant to grip - there was vague talk of using them as ad hoc decorations or bookmarks, but personally I suspect much Gripper action involved minor attacks on the flesh of younger siblings, classmates and family pets. And if you didn't get the free one with Whoopee! you could get the full set of three by sending in 3 empty bags and the princely sum of 10p! Bargain! 

In a similar vein, and promoted in a similar fashion were the Creepy Clutchers! These were little printed plastic cards featuring versions of famous monsters on them, with a slot in them so they could be employed as once again as bookmarks and decorations. And while they presently no real risk of nipping any passing target, they were far more impressive visually, with lovely painted renditions of iconic creatures from the horror movies. And, as you can see below, several were clearly based on the old Universal monsters. There were six in the range - Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolfman, Frankenstein's Monster, a Vampire Bat, and a Witch (although an ad I found does show an alternate design featuring a skeletal ghoul). 

However the wrinkle here was that the offer was for a trio of these Creepy Clutchers, for 3 bags plus 10p. So then, if you wanted the entire set, you had to eat more Horror Bags in order to send off twice! And to promote this offer, you got one free with an issue of another long-running comedy comic Buster. 

But as creepy and cool as all this swag was, they weren't the best that Horror Bags had to offer! Next time we will take a look at the very coolest mail-order merch that came direct from Dracula's Castle! Or at least the one located suspiciously close to Smiths HQ...  

THE 'ORRIBLE 'OUSE OF TERRIBLE OLD TAT - Horror Bags Giveaways Galore (Part I)

Hello dear fiends! And welcome back to the 'Orrible 'Ouse of Terrible Old Tat! Now then, over the last few weeks we've been nibbling away at some spooky snacks from the 1970s - the Horror Bags range from Smiths Crisps! And while these creepy crunchables only were around for four years or so, they spawned a whole empire of macabre merchandise which little horrors could get their grubby paws on by sending in empty packets from Fangess, Bones, Claws, Ribs and Bats! So then, hold on to your hats as we take a whistle-stop tour through all their gloriously gruesome giveaways! (Well at least all the ones I've been able to find... there may be more lurking out there!) 

The range launched with Fangs (cheese and onion) and Bones (salt and vinegar) and in late 1974 there was an offer to send away from a free Dracula mask! Yes, by posting off six packets - and especially for the hard of thinking, they deliberately mentioned in the blurb that they had to be empty packets - you'd get a Dracula mask. Or to be exact, a mask of the top hatted Horror Bags version of Dracula who fronted the range.

Now the mask was pretty cool, but this was only the beginning! For many more ghoulish giveaways would follow, and would grow steadily more ambitious. For example, another early give-away was an iron-on T-shirt transfer offer that again featuring our top hatted fiend's features, but later on a similar offer delivered a proper printed shirt - yours for only 4 bags and the princely sum of 69p. And clearly the Horror Bags Dracula was a hit with the kids as he would feature on a great many of these giveaway items.

His grinning features would adorn a rather nifty bag. This was a drawstring knapsack kind of affair, and was apparently very well made, for quite a few seem to have survived in excellent condition! He would also pop up on a toothbrush, an appropriate but perhaps not terrible exciting item for a range of crisps that included Fangs. The packet tried its best to talk this giveaway up - the brush had a head made by "HALEX" whatever in the name of Cliff that was*, but this one was ultimately probably more appealing to grown-ups than kids. However for 4 empty packets and 25p you couldn't really go wrong. 

Far more exciting was the Dracula Hand Puppet offer (4 bags plus 50p). Admittedly it turned out to be neither a marionette or a glove puppet - rather it was the most humble of the puppet family, a sock puppet, but the design was nice and the packet had pictured the puppet so you knew what you were getting. Also in the cheap but fun category, Horror Bags knew that kids loved puzzles, cards and stickers and hence there were a range of smaller giveaways that were simple but packed with ghoulish delights. 

There was the Horrid Picture Cards set. For sending in just 3 bags, you got a set of six cards each with a suitably spooky picture on the front and a story about Dracula on the back. But the fun thing was that the cards all joined up to make one huge eerie illustration with a massive skull on it! Obviously very cool, for as any school kid will tell you, as massive skulls are always very cool, der brain. 

Equally simple but also cunningly elaborate was the Shivers Stickers set - yours for 3 bags and 28p. Now these were not quite your usual paper with gum on the back affairs, for these were designed for sticking in unusual places! There were spooky cobwebs, spiders and staring eyes that stuck on windows, and for even more gruesome fun there were what the adverts termed "Ghastly Gashes" (stop laughing at the back!) and vampire bite puncture holes to stick on yourself in a primitive horror make-up fashion! 

Rounding off this do and make section of giveaways was the Horror Bags Fungames Set. Now this was a chunky folder jam-packed with goodies. There were two masks - a Dracula one, doubtless identical to the one given away in the earlier offer, but also a rather fabulous Frankenstein mask too.

There were several sheets featuring stuff to do and make, such as a hanging bat mobile and a set of cards to cut out to making a matching pairs game. And there were quizzes and puzzles too. Admittedly these weren't terribly taxing, the little girl always quickly escaped the Baron for example, but they looked cool. 

Best of all though was the Glow-in-the-dark Castle Poster. Now actually this was two posters - one showed a crumbling castle but had lots of doors and windows cut in that you could open. The second poster showed assorted ghosts, ghouls and monsters faffing about. However - and this is the clever bit - you put the castle poster over the monster one, and so when you opened the doors or windows you could see the 'orrible beings that dwelt inside. And hence you had a sort of spooky version of an advent calendar. 

Now the glow-in-the-dark bit was perhaps a tad misleading as these posters did not involve the usual phosphorescent or luminous paint, rather you made the windows light up yourself. The pack presented two methods of doing so - firstly you could put the posters together and hanging them in front of a torch or lamp (not hugely practical really), or you could stick the posters onto a window (a more practical option but not so popular with parents who insist on worrying about stupid things like marks on glass rather than the important things in life such as ghosts and monsters glowing). 

Anywho, which ever way you did it, it actually worked rather well. I know it sounds lame - and indeed I even thought that when I received this set in the post as a kid - but the clever folks at Horror Bags had ensured the posters were exactly the correct thickness, so that when they were put together, they did block out light. But the second poster was also thin enough on its own so that when you opened the windows and doors of the castle the scenes inside would light up rather nicely. Completely brilliant! Or at least it was for the brief time Mum allowed me to stick it to the window...

Sadly my Fungames kit poster is long gone, but here's another creepy puzzle instead that features a little version of the same castle... 

Next time, yet more ghoulish giveaways, looking at the most luxurious of all the Horror Bags tat!

* actually a venerable but now defunct makers of plastic and bakelite items apparently - see here