It's crap film time again, and this time we are going to experience a truly bizarre American sci-fi horror shot in Japan - The Manster AKA The Split (1962)
In this weeks episode Lee, Darren and Jim are joined by Danny Graydon and discuss such diverse subjects as... Essex Gangland, deadly pancake mix, blu ray purchases and Clowns.
Then there's a bit of disheartening interview revelations about Superman vs Batman vs Wonder Woman vs Kramer vs Kramer, some unsubstantiated rubbish about Matrix prequels and some discussion about the Hugos and SFF fans knee jerk reactions to Jonathan Ross.
After a trip to the vegetable patch for this weeks Shitty superheroes and another entry from Jim Moon's profanisaurus, the guys get busy reviewin' or they get busy dyin' as they re-review the classic Shawshank Redemption, with some tourettes help from Morgan Freeman.
Next week is a very different movie when, to coincide with the anniversary of the first radio episode, the guys return to review the movie version of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.
With the long awaited Prometheus, Ridley Scott's much anticipated return to the universe of Alien, finally unleashed on our screens, Mr Jim Moon heads for deepest space to explore the origins of that most seminal movie. We are joined on this epic voyage by Mr Lee Medcalf and Mr Darren Barnard of The Black Dog podcast, to explore three similarly seminal movies that are said to have inspired both Scott and screen writer Dan O'Bannon - spaced out cult classic Dark Star (1974), vintage scifi shocker It! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958), and Mario Bava's interstellar gothic Planet of the Vampires (1965). Warning! Contains assorted rambling, swearing, wild speculation, and On The Buses!
Is Alien Undead (AKA The Dark Lurking) really part Alien, part Evil Dead? Or is it just a low budget knock-off of Aliens? Click below to beam over to GeekPlanetOnline and find out!
Yes folks, from here on in all Torchwood reviews WILL contain spoilers! Mainly because as the show moves closer and closer towards its final death throes, I'm sorry, exciting climax, it going to be increasingly hard to keep these little reports spoiler-free. And partly because I figure if you're reading this you're either a) already watching or b) don't give a toss. So then what does Episode 6 - The Middle Men bring us?
Well, we have an intriguing and surprising opening sequence which neatly set-up a fresh plot strand for this outing. However in the bulk of the episode is largely resolving the action from last week. Yes, around three quarters of this episode is Escape From The Overflow Camps. In the US, we have Rex and Esther attempting to get out with a minimum of fuss, while back in the UK Rhys and Gwen are still attempting to rescue her father. Meanwhile Captain Jack is seeking to have a quiet word with the fellow from the pre-credits sequence, a PhiCorp exec who has been getting a wee bit suspicious himself about what his company is getting up too.
And to oversee these spookshow shenanigans we have John Shiban on script duties again. Much like the last episode he was involved with (Escape From LA), this chapter of the Miracle Day storyline is tightly focused on the espionage operations and features an fascinating incidental character portrayed by an '80s pop culture icon. For the afore-mentioned PhiCorp suit, Stuart Evans, is played by the great Ernie Hudson - yes, it's Winston from Ghostbusters! And I'm happy to report that Mr Hudson is excellent and his scenes are some of the best in this instalment, partly because they deliver some tantalizing hints about what is really going on behind the Miracle but mostly because Evans doesn't turn out to be the face of corporate evil you're expecting.
Also on good form this episode is Eve Myles as Gwen, with the script giving her a winning combination of drama and action. Now amid all the nit picking over the last few weeks, I have been sadly neglecting to praise Eve Myles, as hands down she's been delivering the best performances in the team, and the character of Gwen has easily been the most consistently written too. Also in Gwen, the spirit of what I'm thinking of as the original Torchwood lives on; embodying the quirky humour and the down-to-earth human reactions to extraordinary events that were a much bigger part of the show than it is now.
In fairness however, we have Captain Jack appearing more like his old self in this episode, and the script makes good use of Esther and Rex. Now Alexa Havins has been fairly consistent throughout this series and proved to be an interesting character as the team member who is new to all this cloak and dagger stuff, however Rex has been mainly stuck on barking and shouting duties. But in this episode, while we don't exactly get masses of character development for him, Mekhi Phifer does at least get to extend his range beyond 'gruff'.
Now then, we have no appearance from Bill Pullman this week, which on one hand is a shame as his performances have been excellent. But on the other hand, the absence of Danes removed a major thorn in the side of the show's credibility (see previous reports for my troubles with this character). However that's not to say there weren't still niggly annoyances with the plot.
For while this episode clipped along nicely a decent pace, in terms of the overall series, shouldn't things be moving along a little quicker? I can't help thinking this part of the story should have either happened around episode 4 or been done in half the time. I mean we've only four episodes left and the team has actually learnt very little and took an awful long time to discover it.
However sensible plotting isn't proving to be this series strong suite. Last week I mentioned the increasing fuzziness over the rules of the Miracle and this continues to be a problem. Firstly we get a throw away line explaining that actually people can die if they are totally incinerated, so then no sentient ash clouds on the horizon then. But as this is a Davies masterplan I still wouldn't rule out a budget-blowing horde of cinder spectres appearing out of nowhere to smother the bad guys in the last episode...
Now this loophole in humanity's new immortality I could forgive if the concept of death only occurring in cases of 'complete cellular destruction' had been bedded down in the plot earlier. However as presented here, the explanatory line this week comes across as a quick fix because the writers forgot the rules. And indeed this is isn't the only instance of writers fudging the Miracle rules. To begin with the opening scene where the Hong Kong investigator throw himself off the roof makes for a dramatic opening but is undercut when you remember that no one is supposed to die.
Admittedly that may seem like typical fanboy quibbling, but there's more serious questions hanging over the battle between Esther and the stressed to insanity camp boss, Maloney. For a start, throttling someone in a world where no one dies makes little sense, but the fact he is conveniently gunned down into submission seems like a direct contradiction of what we've seen before, as neither Rex nor Vera slipped into unconsciousness when seriously injured; indeed the the former made an explicit point about it when the team were talking about the Miracle a few weeks back - that whole 'forced into life' business. Plus in Rendition, we had the character who Miss Emma Lou of The Blue Box Blog wonderfully renamed The Lady Who Startlingly Resembles A Siamese Cat happily playing with the traffic with her head on backwards.
Then again in the last Shiban episode, we had C Thomas Howell's assassin handily flaunting the rules too and also conveniently collapsing. Now considering he would actually die, I have been wondering why the team just left him there - after all he was just about to spill some vital information shouldn't they have captured him for interrogation? Admittedly his wounds may have prevented him talking but he could held a bloody pen!
I don't know about you, but I'm getting the impression that generally the writers are really struggling with this no one dies business. While a certain amount of thought has gone into the effect such a scenario would have on society.... ok, ok, well alright.... just the healthcare system really, no one has carefully thought through the implications for plotting in action orientated narratives, namely that it becomes a bit of a sod if you can't have victims and bad guys biting the dust.
And so we have these logic gaps, opening the way to the dark dimensions where the cynical questions bubble and blaspheme at the centre of the universe of audience disbelief. Now a good writer should fear above all else accidentally opening one of these unhallowed portals... However if you fumble your dramtaic incantations, armchair smart arses like me start wondering about things like...
Why the hell is there a solider subservient to a civilian bureaucrat in the first place?
And while I enjoyed M*A*S*H as much as everyone else, is Torchwood really the right venue for a character that is clearly ripping off Radar?
And although it was great to see Ernie Hudson, did Jack really need to speak to him? Couldn't they have got most of his information from that server they nicked?
And is it just me or is the main tactic of this new Torchwood team what I believe to be called the Mrs Doyle Stratagem in intelligent circles - simply sidling up to the target and saying 'Ah go on! Help us out! It'll be grand! Ah go on , go on , go on, go on, go on!'
...I'll stop there before I get to speculations about the effects of Botox on John Barrrowman's performances, but you get the idea. If you leave holes in your plot, your viewers will be down them quicker than Alice after a white rabbit and the show won't be holding their attention. And if you're careful, like the wooden men on the chess board in the Carroll inspired Jefferson Airplane song, they be getting up and telling you where to go...
Now generally I was being moderately entertained by this episode, but much like the rest of the series, all these little niggles kept nudging me out of the show. And while much of the time these are are minor points, the fact is Miracle Day has been consistently riddled with such little irritations week in and week out, I am getting to the point where it's becoming exceedingly annoying.
Of course that's not to mention the massive hairy cock-ups the show insists upon periodically waving in our faces. However, showing that some one in the production team has some grasp of pacing, this is the second week in a row where they've saved the most egregious plot idiocy for the end of the episode.
This week the story closes with Rex's footage being released to the world and what happens? Bloody nothing that's what. It's bad enough the revelation is tossed away in a few lines, but what's unforgivable is that it doesn't seem to matter. The governments and PhiCorp just carry on burning folks tra-la-bloody-la! To quote Jefferson Airplane again - "logic and proportion have fallen smartly dead".
Plus in combination with the cliff-hanger, I'm now convinced that this whole Miracle business is an idiotically complicated plot just to get at Jack and hence the majority of the plot of Miracle Day may well be a colossal red herring, and if that is so, a massive waste of our time.
I sincerely hope that this isn't the case but at the same time my expectations of getting any meat on the bones marked 'geography', 'families will rise' and 'the blessing' next week are exceedingly low... Instead I predict more dashing around that will seem entertaining enough but with a moment's thought will become irritating and unfulfilling...
If you;re a fan of Rod Serling's work and/or classic sci-fi, do head over to The Twilight Zone Network - as well as The Twilight Zone Podcast, there's also the excellent Night Gallery Podcast. Covering each and every episode one show at time, these podcasts are the definitive guide to these classic TV series.
Well, it seems to becoming something of a running motif this season, for here we have yet another episode that is going to very tricksy to review without giving away the surprising central conceits. And hence this initial section might be somewhat brief!
But while as annoying as this is for your humble reviewer, on the flipside the fact that episodes warrant a rigid non-spoiler policy is a testament to their quality - for I have always believed that a good story should inspire one to kept its secrets so that other may share the delight of their unfolding.
Now I must confess to going into this episode with somewhat mixed feelings. On one hand, it was to be written by the legendary Neil Gaiman, a man who surely needs no introduction... But if you do, Mr Gaiman was one of the scribes who along with luminaries such as Alan Moore, Frank Miller and Grant Morrison, spearheaded the comics renaissance in the late ‘80s, the era where the humble cartoon strip grew up. Making a splash with the graphic novel Violent Cases and then went on to pen the ground-breaking Sandman series - essentially a novel told in 75 comic book chapters. Aside from further comic work, he went on to produce a string of novels and short story collections, cementing his status as one of the premier fantasists of this generation.
And recently he’s became to conquer the big screen - two of his books have been translated to the big screen, Stardust and Coraline, and he also penned the script for Robert Zemeckis’ retelling of Beowulf and the criminally under-seen Mirrormask which was directed by his long time collaborator, and legend in his own right, artist Dave McKean.
But far earlier in his career, back in the early ‘90s, he had first ventured into the script business with a little BBC series called Neverwhere. This six part serial took viewers to a secret London where this is an Angel in Islington, a nobleman in Earls Court and populated by bizarre characters such as Old Bailey. All great fun and possessing an atmosphere and tone not dissimilar to vintage Doctor Who. Unfortunately though, being produced a lean period of genre TV , it has also have the same low budget troubles and resultant shoestring production values that bedevilled late period Who.
So then on the other hand, despite The Doctor’s Wife being shunted from Series 5 to Series 6 for budgetary reasons, I was still concerned that the BBC coffers might not be able to do justice to his imaginings. And as much as I admire the the man’s works, I was also worried whether he could actually produce something that felt like ‘proper’ Doctor Who. After all, many name authors have written pieces for universes other than their own and, sad to say, have come a cropper (names withheld to protect the guilty).
Additionally the very title of the episode caused me some concern. In the beginning it was to be called The House of Nothing which sounded spot on; not just intriguing but passing my personal title Who test - namely would it look good with the addition of ‘Doctor Who And..’ for an imaginary old school Target Book with a Chris Achilleos cover.
However ‘The House of Nothing’ was torn down and became The Doctor’s Wife - a very different proposition. As from echoing the not terribly well regarded Series 4 episode The Doctor’s Daughter, it also started ringing all kinds of continuity Cloister Bells. To start with, in the range of novels produced first by Virgin and then later BBC Books during the years when Who was off the air we’d already met a sort of previous wife of the Doctor, Patience. But personally the possible canonical contradictions wasn't the real issue, as I’m not really a card carrying Continuity Cop. Rather it’s just that I get a bit nervous around the possibility we’re going to learn a little too much about the Doctor’s personal history. And with Neil stating in interviews that he was going to be adding to the mythology of the show, I was praying that there would be nothing that shrank or damaged the essential mystery of that makes our Time Lord hero so fascinating.
Now then, having seen the episode, all the above fretting was all for nothing. And with hindsight, I really shouldn't’ have worried - for if I’d thought a bit harder on the matter his comics work has seen him tackle many well established and well loved characters and done ‘em proud too! Yes, a huge *face palm* all round!
For this a delightful little tale, and very much a love letter to to all those years we’ve enjoyed tagging along with the TARDIS’ travels. Now, don’t panic because I mentioned the ‘L’ word - I’m sure that many of you were very concerned that the episode’s title would see yet more romance in the control room. But hey, so was I a little and while we do see a strong emotional and affectionate relationship forged, it really isn't what you’re thinking. And while I can’t elaborate without giving the game away, I’ll just say that is precisely the right kind of romance for the show, delivering warmth and heart but without the dreaded cheap tricks of giving the Doctor a sudden love interest.
Yes, there is love here, but it is a many splendoured, and indeed in terms of the story line, many layered thing here rather than the soapy antics of series past. But there’s a cracking plot, brimming with equally with humour and spooky horror. Essentially, The Doctor’s Wife hits all the marks last week’s Curse of the Black Spot was aiming for but just missed.
Guest star Suranne Jones puts in a stellar performance as the mysterious Idris, one that should win her an award or two, and I certainly I hope we haven’t seen the last of her. Matt Smith really shines in this episode too, quite a feat considering how week in week out he’s never short of excellent. And of course this episode’s other guest star, Michael Sheen is also on top form although in a voice only role.
But it’s more than just a fun filled run around, it is a genuinely touching episode for it reflects in many different ways the magic of Doctor Who. There are several lovely nods to the show’s past and indeed there are new additions to the mythology. And they are pitched perfectly - whereas in the past certain aspects of the Doctor’s past have perhaps been illuminated too clearly, as a writer Neil has always demonstrated a keen understanding of how stories and legends operate, in fact it is something of a recurring theme in his works, and hence the additions here aren't big continuity rewriting reveals but little hints that don’t diminish the mystery but actually artfully embroiders it, deepening old enigmas by raising new tantalising questions.
All in all, this was a magical little adventure and while it may not be muscling in on the territory of all time classics such as Blink or Genesis of the Daleks it’s certain to join the top ranks of the most well loved tales like City of Death. And I certainly hope this is not last script we’ll have from Mr Gaiman.
PS - Be sure to catch this week’s Doctor Who Confidential - as it’s jam packed with Neil visiting the set and musing on all things Who - it’s a real delight to see his love for the show and hear the man himself reading his original script aloud. And on the off chance anyone important is reading this - could we have a printed edition of his script ? The passages we heard sounded wonderful and it would make a great little chapbook to release as a charity fundraiser!
We sails under the colours of spoiler freedom, me hearties!
Question - Why are pirates so cool? Answers - Because they just aaaaaarrrrrrr!
Look, it was either that refuge from the Old Jokes Home or an obscene one about a parrot. Though the former does have the advantage of illuminatin’ the nature of scurvy buccaneers sailin’ the seven seas o’ fiction...
Basically pirates are always good fun and frankly there’s just not enough eye patches, cutlasses and walkin’ the plank about these days! I’d have though that the dubloons raked in by that House o’ Mouse trilogy, might have sparked up a new adaptation of Treasure Island or a remake of Captain Blood!
So then instant plunder in the treasure chest for this particular episode of Doctor Who. Overall The Curse of the Black Spot was jolly good fun, a light weight stand alone adventure as I expected. Lovely old galleon, a decent cast of sea dogs commanded by the engaging Captain Avery, played well by Hugh Bonneville, a deliciously beautiful but creepy adversary in the shape of the Siren (Lilly Cole), a Jim Hawkins aged stowaway, a splice o’ swash buckling and all washed down with some plot twists and turns.
So then a lovely little high seas classic then? Well, sadly no. It was entertaining enough but I can’t shake the feeling that it didn’t quite hit the mark. Not a bad episode per se, but at the same time, for me it ran aground on the sandbanks just off the shore of Average rather steerin’ a clear course to Treasure Island.
Writer Stephen Thompson is perhaps best known to viewers in TV Land, for penning The Blind Banker, the second episode of the Moffat/Gatiss helmed Sherlock which graced our screen last summer. However personally I felt that it was the weakest adventure for the modern day incarnation of the Master Detective in that series, and it would seem that The Curse of the Black Spot shares the same flaws as The Blind Banker - namely that the plotting tried to be clever and cunning but came across as fairly linear, and despite trying hard to hit all the right notes somehow just didn't generate the thrills and atmosphere you’d expect from the classic tropes both these tales are built upon.
Now I’d stress that this episode was by no means a disaster and there was a lot of fun to had from Mr Thompson’s script. The story clipped along nicely with plenty of drama between the action. The dialogue had plenty of sparkle, some fun verbal jousting and showed a good ear for period speech without over egging the pudding with lots of cod ye olde worlde thee-ing and thou-ing. And there were some fun and interesting wrinkles to the plot too; the sort of SF twists that are very in keeping with the traditions and feel of Doctor Who adventures past.
All quite entertain as it’s going along but after the credits had rolled I started nitpicking, which is never a good sign. But on reflection (yo ho ho, see what I did there) though individually, the scenes are fine, I think it was the way they were orchestrated together that led to the feeling that The Curse of the Black Spot was fluffing its siren song; missing the correct notes and not hitting the beats quite right.
In short, I liked it but really considering it was Doctor Who doing pirates, one of my great boyhood passions, I really thought I’d have loved this one. Quite possibly I’m being overly picky and certainly coming on the heels of a brace of very strong episodes isn't helping it’s case. Then again, if you weren't as onboard with the opening tale as I was, then maybe you’ll find that The Curse of the Black Spot is more your cup o’grog Cap’n!
Here’s be the spoils o’ plunder!
Right me hearties, I takes it that ye land lubbers have now seen this tale o’the high seas by now, either that, else ye don’t give a tinkers’ cuss about secrets reveal’d! So then, despite the difficulties that beset a man trying to type while doing the piratically patent Keith o’ Stones stagger, let’s scrape the barnacles of this story’s arse!
Aside from this adventure not quite having the right rhythm to the rise and fall of its plotting, where I’m really deducting marks from MR Thompson is that although as I mentioned on the above decks that this tale had some good twists in its tail, the problem is he plundered them! These be stolen goods m’lud!
The concept of an automated computer avatar preying on passersby we saw in The Lodger, and grabbing folk through space-time portals and not understanding what it’s supposed to do we saw in The Girl In The Fireplace, the twist that said folk weren't killed by teleported elsewhere is from Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways, and as for Rory dying and coming back, well we've had before in Amy’s Choice not to mention last season’s finale.
Now while I appreciated the dramatic development of seeing that Amy and Rory are a solid couple, and nicely burying the potential for a tedious love triangle in the TARDIS, did we really have to see Rory skirt Davy Jones’ Locker? Blimey, give the guy a break please - he’s back and forth beneath the Grim Reaper’s scythe like a bloody limbo dancer!
Evidently Mr Thompson has studied the form and shape of a good Doctor Who tale but unfortunately I could tell which stories in new Who he’d looked most closely at. Again, I might be being overly critical, but spotting these borrowings in tandem with the slightly off story rhythm gave me the impression of a script cobbled together rather than carefully crafted. And this impression was compounded by the fact that some plot points don't really hold up when you start to think about them - for example, surely it would be impossible to get rid of ALL reflective surfaces - humans eyes in particular! And surely would even an addled medical program have to put people in stasis just for a nick on the hand?
And the epilogue which gave us a flashback of the Doctor’s death and the virtual replay of TARDIS scanner pregnancy confusion of last week’s coda felt a little lazy. However I suspect this was tacked on as apparently originally this episode was scheduled to the ninth episode - the breather in the early phase of the autumn half of the season. And in fairness, we did see that the fluctuation on the scanner between Amy being pregnant or not was growing alarmingly more rapid. And taking this in conjunction with Amy’s flash of the Doctor dying, it does set up nicely the fact that the secret the Doctor is keeping is mirrored by the knowledge his companions must keep huhs hush. Rather apt considering the reflections theme of this tale!
It’s little touches like this and the other highlights such as the Black Spot being a skin sample, Amy going fully pirate and swinging about with a cutlass, plus the striking Siren imagery, that make me inclined to forgive the niggles incurred by the afore-mentioned recycled plot points and logical gaps.
So again I say good but not as great as I’d hoped. And let’s get some perspective here, there’s nothing here that makes you want to claw your eyes out with a gaff hook - farting Slitheen and paving slab blowjob gags I’m looking at you!
Well, it certainly was a wild way to open your new season! The Doctor it would appear is dead, killed by the mysterious astronaut, River Song definitely seems to his (future) wife, there’s an enigmatic little girl would may or may not be in the space suited figure that slays our Time Lord hero, and Amy would appear to be potentially pregnant (and I’ll explain that later). Last summer, Moffat promised us that the mid season finale would be a “a game changing cliff-hanger that will change everything” and Series 6 of new Who has clearly begun with the kind of almighty set-up that such an epic storyline would need…
Now first of all, let me nail my colours to the mast (Getting ahead of yourself there Mr Jim, the pirate ship’s next week! – Ed) – this brace of episodes really impressed me. Cunningly plotted and equally packed with scares and wit, this opening stories hits all the right marks for what I want from Doctor Who. But aside from all of that, I have nothing but admiration for the Grand Moff for kicking off the new season at the level most other series only climb up to for the closing episodes.
For example, the final cliff-hanger in Series 4 was the Tenth Doctor seemingly exterminated by the Daleks. However being an RTD story there was a convenient deus ex machine suddenly popping up in the form of some hitherto unknown wrinkles in the regeneration process to quickly tidy it up. However Moffat has significantly raised the stakes – the Eleventh Doctor is dead with no hope of regeneration and, more to the point, rabbit-from-the-hat solutions just aren't his style.
So therefore, I wasn't at all surprised that the Doctor’s demise wasn’t reversed by the end of Day of the Moon. However from sampling various reviews here and there across the net, it would seem a fair few were somewhat disgruntled that everything wasn't neatly tied up. Well sorry folks, we’re in a new age of Doctor Who now where’s there’s going to be proper story arcs, with episodes linked by a lot more than just dropping in a token reference here and there. And this is a good thing! No, honestly it is! Let’s address the various concerns…
The one I'm hearing the most is that “it’s going alienate causal viewers”. Well despite the now annual exercise in lazy journalism that claims that Doctor Who is falling in the ratings, if you visit the Doctor Who News page which regularly reports the stats, you’ll see that the figures are actually very, very healthy. Yes, the guesstimated overnight numbers are lower than usual but that is a combination of hot weather and both episodes falling in Bank Holiday weekends. However the properly calculated figures are a different matter demonstrating that the show is respectably holding its own, competing with those ratings heavy weights, the soaps, gaining a large share of the viewing audience and scoring very high on audience appreciation.
And all of this despite being screened after the TV train wreck that is Don’t Scare The Hare - if you are looking for a show that is really is well and truly failing, seek no further!
Plus The Impossible Astronaut is well on the way to breaking the record for most watched/downloaded show in iPlayer history and Day of the Moon in just fours days has clocked up over a million plays – and that’s nearly double the hits the Royal Wedding has got.
So can we finally put this one to bed? Next time some idle fuckwit at the Daily Mail or whatever starts bleating about how Doctor Who is dying, just remember there’s more chance of finding a Yeti in the loos at Tooting Bec than discovering a true fact in such vacuous scare-mongering rags!
But the figures, which you can check for yourselves, also effectively counter the other most heard complaint about Series 6 “that it’s getting too complicated for ordinary viewers”. As I stated in my review of Day of the Moon, we forget that the general public like serials; those oft despised reality TV shows only succeed because they are edited to make an on-going story line. And soap viewers are used to dealing with the kind of labyrinthine continuities that rival the complexities of the Marvel and DC Universe. So I doubt that more closely linked stories in Doctor Who are going to prove too much of a problem.
And it’s also worth paying close attention to what Mr Moffat says in the interview linked above. He clearly says that the epic cliff-hanger he’s planning is possible because of the two halves structure of Series 6. He understands very well that setting up big mysteries that don’t get resolved for ages is a sure way to alienate viewers.
For this whole business of long story lines in genre shows causing the ratings to haemorrhage like an impaled Cyberman in The Five Doctors isn't down to the general populace being too thick to appreciate scifi or any such nonsense, it’s due to shows like Lost and Battlestar Galactica treading water and testing even genre fans’ patience by not developing the on-going plot lines swiftly enough. Now I'm not saying they were terrible shows here, but I can understand why viewers drifted away after being kept dangling for so long at certain points in their histories.
Rather there’s a fine balance between developing a satisfying story arc and telling individual stories, and Moffat understands this well. Consider, for example, how the last season played out – instead of the Cracks just being a repeated visual equivalent of past seasons’ catchphrases like ‘Bad Wolf’ or ‘Mr Saxon’, we actually continued to learn more about them and what they signified steadily throughout the series. So it’s safe to say that more will be revealed in the coming weeks and there will be some answers to the big questions by the June break rather than a big reveal in the final episodes in the autumn.
Now with all of that out of the way, let’s move onto the meat of the episodes themselves. Now to address another common issue, quite a few folk have remarked on the swerve Day of the Moon opens with – we rapidly jump from the cliff-hanger to ‘Three Months Later’. And naturally this has prompted a good deal of head scratching. Yes, the episode does give you enough detail to work out that Canton hunting down the Doctor and his friends is a ruse to fool the Silence, however many have felt that it was insufficiently explained.
And initially this was my reaction too. However having seen the rest of the episode and discovered exactly what is resolved, I’d have to say that why this start is a little jarring, it’s fairly clear that this missing chunk of time is going to be revisited later in the season. Remember how in the Weeping Angels story last year, we had the mystery of the Doctor’s reappearing jacket and the revisiting of those scenes at the conclusion? Well I think Moffat is doing much the same here as there is a lot still to be explained that we can’t pick up from Day of the Moon…
…The big one being the Doctor’s Area 51 cell being made of dwarf star alloy. Now this is an alien material and there are questions therefore on where it came from. Viewers with long memories may recall that the Tenth Doctor chained Father Of Mine with chains made from this substance in The Family of Blood, but long-time Who watchers will be thinking of the Tom Baker era tale Warriors’ Gate…
Now in this story featured a race called the Tharils, who could cross time lines at will, and also looked like contemporary popster (and later urban reformer) Daryl Hall … Well, it was the ‘80s!
Daryl Hall
A Tharil
But aside from cheap gags, the point of mentioning this tale is that it might have a clue or two for the current story line. You see the Tharils could cross time lines at will, and where being enslaved to use their innate abilities to power spacecraft across hyperspace. And they were being contained by dwarf star alloy which inhibited their abilities to cross into different dimensions of space-time. Furthermore this whole adventure took place in another universe called E-Space. Now obviously all of the above raises some interesting possibilities for resolving the Doctor’s apparent death…
…But of course it might not! It could just be one of Moffat’s call-backs to the classic series – the Doctor’s mention of being present at the Fall of Rome wasn't just a bit of showing off; he was there and we saw this in the William Hartnell adventure The Romans. But certainly there will more detail on the dwarf star alloy I'm sure. Moffat plays a long game!
Amy’s pregnancy is a case in point. Of course, there’s the obvious possible foreshadowing in Amy’s Choice in which one of the dream realities has her with child (quick aside: the mysterious Eyepatch Lady in Day of the Moon says “she’s still dreaming” - does this signify the hand of the Dream Lord at work?). But there’s another more sneaky reference in The Hungry Earth - if you care to recall the Silurians had sucked Amy down to their city and then scan her… And this is what results…
You see, looooooooong game! Therefore the missing three months in this opening tale isn’t sloppy writing like RTD resurrecting the Master with a load of never to be explained smoking potion hugger mugger, it’s a deliberate omission; a piece of narrative sleight of hand.
Now I'm not going to speculate on the many mysteries this story presents. There are endless theories online as to what the regenerating child is, who River Song is and how the Doctor will escape – my favourite is the tongue in cheek suggestion made by Mike in the Bigger on the Inside podcast that River Song is the TARDIS - but as the wonderful Nuts4r2 sagely remarks in his own reviews of these episodes, it’s almost pointless to speculate as we don’t have enough pieces on the board yet. However I do think it’s worth mentioning the fact that the TARDIS scanner can’t seem to decide whether Amy is Pregnant or not. And this would suggest that perhaps the time-lines are currently in flux…
Similarly I'm not convinced we’ve seen the last of the Silence. For a start on a technical note, just having the Silence turn out to be just some skull faced aliens in suits is too much of a let down. Admittedly they were superbly scary but not quite big or bad enough to justify the previous season build up. And I'm not sure they are the Silence – they may be part of it but they are not the full deal. Remember what they say to Amy - “You are Amelia Pond…We do you honour…. You will bring the Silence….”
Perhaps we should be calling them the Silents… And also bear in mind that we never did discover what their plan was. And certainly they didn't build the mystery ship we saw in The Lodger or the dwarf star alloy – they definitively state that they use the technology of other races.
It’s an intoxicating brew alright! But the big questions aside, I’ll wrap this rambling up with a final point. If you have any doubts about Moffat’s plotting, consider how clever the resolution to Day of the Moon was. An on-going problem in the Doctor Who universe is that present day Earth has to remain very close to our own real-life continuum yet you have to wonder after all the invasions why the world in the series hasn’t become an alternate universe where every one knows that aliens are real. Yet for this most virulent infestation presented in this tale, Moffat has a very intelligent twist – we repelled the Silence but because of the way they operate no one remembers doing it. It deftly presents a global threat without destroying credibility or continuity, and is also wonderfully ironic dramatically.
Now next week, it would seem we have something of breather with a high seas adventure featuring “a stroppy, homicidal mermaid”. But I’m not ruling out a few more clues surfacing amid the cutlasses and tricorne hats! And if not, who cares – it’s the good Doctor tangling with pirates and Lilly Cole! All board? Yes, indeed!
A recurring problem with the two part stories in new Who is that after a cracking opening episode that builds up the tension, suspense and excitement, the follow-up resolution has many times fallen flat. Now after the fabulous season opener last week, I can confidently say that Day of the Moon delivered… But what it delivered I’m not entirely sure!
Though certainly I think it’s safe to say that this episode is going be very very divisive. And while it is many things, and indeed will be called many things I’m sure, one thing it certainly wasn’t – a damp squib. Day of the Moon delivered a lot bang for its buck. But whether that was a good thing or not is a question that’s hard to answer. And furthermore, I also expect opinions of the episode will be liable to change as the season unfolds.
Yes, I know all this is somewhat vague and probably very confusing. But like the first part of this story, it’s a tough episode to review without giving any of its twists, turns and surprises away. And so this little review is just going to be my initial reaction and we’ll be returning to this tale a little later in the week after I’ve had a chance to rewatch it back to back with The Impossible Astronaut.
However before that, there are a few spoiler-free point to be made…
Firstly if you’ve not seen it yet, I would recommend that you watch last week’s first, because this episode picks up right where we left of and then gallops on at a break-neck pace. They don’t do the old trick of quickly resolving the cliff-hanger and then slow down and starting building the story afresh. Now this may be a bit of shock to the system for some viewers but I’d say it is a good thing as it’s this slackening of pace that has scuppered the effectiveness of many other second parts.
On the downside however, the episode did feel a bit rushed. There’s so much crammed in, I couldn’t help feeling that the story needed a bit more room to breathe. But then again I think it’ll will play better watched as a whole. It was rumoured that the Beeb were planning to screen both over Easter which would make a lot of sense for Moffat’s structural and pacing choices. However that said, there are many things unexplained in this episode which brings be to my second point….
….Before going in, I’ll warn you now that not everything is resolved neatly. Essentially this story is setting up the arc for the season. And rather than the usual drop in a reference or lone clue that typified the story arcs in the RTD days – the Bad Wolf template – Moffat clearly has grander plans. I suspect that the ongoing story he’s constructing will turn out be more of solidly integrated piece of plotting that than we’ve ever had before. And not only are we going to get a story it a proper arc but actually builds on the events of the last season. Grand Moff Steven is playing a very long game here folks!
No doubt there’ll be the usual carping about the direction the series is going in, but whatever anyone does with Doctor Who there’ll always be those who find something to complain about! They complained the RTD years were too frothy and simplistic, and now they’ll grumble its getting too complicated.
And admittedly Day of the Moon is very intricate and I do worry how causal viewers are going to react to all of this. Moffat is possibly taking a big risk here but then again the next week’s episode looks like more standard fare to soothe those left bewildered by this high octane sprint.
But also, perhaps we’re in danger of forgetting that the most popular shows with the general public are the ongoing stories found in the soaps! And perhaps it’s time that genre shows stopped being afraid of telling closely connected narratives. Plus I honestly believe that all this confusion will make a lot more sense further down the line! And if it all comes off, we’ll see Day of the Moon in a new light… So if you find this episode somewhat head spinning, keep on watching!
Right then, I’ve said I can for now! But as promised we’ll come back to this adventure in a few days time and delve into the spoiler zone…
Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions where nobody goes (Bromley I believe – Ed. ), stands an ancient castle. Deep within this dank and uninviting place lives Darren, the long suffering co-host of the Thing Upstairs, Lee. But that’s nothing compared the horrors that lurk within the Black Dog Podcast – there’s always something in there, in the dark, waiting to be reviewed…
Yes folks, it’s podcast review time again - another helping of aural delights for your edification. The Black Dog is another ‘cast delving into the world of genre movies and TV. Here you’ll find in-depth discussions of all your geek favourites – from classic scfi like the Star Wars and Alien franchises to cult comedies such as Withnail and I and Monty Python.
And your hosts for these trawls through the worlds of the cult and the classic are Lee and Darren, two affable gents whose infectious good humour is only matched by their insightful opinions and in-depth knowledge. Now there are many similar podcasts out there competing for your ear time, but The Black Dog is somewhat different the usual reviewing stuff fare.
For a start, they have their own resident jingle singer, the infamous Darron Diamond – a rhinestone spangled, lurex legend in his own lunchtime. Each week his golden tones introduce the assorted regular features and segments of The Black Dog… well at least until the forces of darkness, those bitter, twisted souls seething with jealousy at his success in rocking lounges across the nation, attempt to silence him, leaving us with the mournful sound of Spinny the Hubcap clattering out an epitaph! Fortunately for us though, Mr Diamond shares the same amazing recuperative powers as Captain Scarlet and he’s always back to take the mic again.
Now some very cynical people have claimed that Mr Diamond is actually none other that co-host Darren singing in a Reeves-esque club style. However, nothing could be further from the truth. For a start, one is ‘Darren’ and the other is ‘Darron’ – see, completely different spellings! Definitive proof that they are in fact entirely separate people… and you’d be a fool to think otherwise!
But what are these weekly features of which I speak? Well, firstly we have the introduction – each week the boys loving spoof a famous intro or title sequence. Always inventive and always hilarious, these intros get the ‘cast off to flying start. For example, their version of the famous Renton monologue that opens Trainspotting can be heard here. Then the show usually opens with some chit chat detailing our heroes’ latest adventures in Real Life – often what they’ve been watching, playing or reading. And this is normally followed by a round up of the week’s geek news.
And after discussing all the latest announcements and developments in the genre world, we have the Ten Minute Spoiler Zone. In this recently minted feature, Lee and Darren have a no holds barred spoilerific discussion which is strictly ten of your earth minutes. And there is much fun to be had hearing our heroes trying to beat the clock!
Next up is Shitty Superheroes – an ongoing investigation to expose the worst characters ever to disgrace the pages of comics. Now superheroes are often somewhat ridiculous but if you thought the Green Lantern was a bit on the silly side that’s nothing compared to assorted freaks Shitty Superheroes has unearthed. Each week, Lee presents Darren with some product of an exhausted if not thoroughly deranged imagination, usually to stunned incredulity – sample quote “That’s not a super power! That’s an affliction!”
Previous subjects under the spotlight of shame have included Squirrel Girl and Flat Man, and the likes of Plaid Lad and Estimate Boy. And as well laughing yourself stupid, I guarantee this feature will have you firing up Google to confirm that some one did indeed actually see fit to print such nonsensical characters, and to see them in all their spectacular rubbishness!
But all of this is just a prelude to the main body of the show – and here’s where The Black Dog’s patent twist comes into play. Each week the main review is either a Rose Tinted Specs or a Shit Covered Goggles. Now what the hell are they? Well allow me to explain…
In Rose Tinted Specs, an old film or TV show that is widely regarded as a classic is reviewed with a critical eye. Is it really one of the greats or is it a case of nostalgia colouring its reputation. Do we revere them simply because we saw them in our youth or because the received wisdom tells to?
Now Shit Covered Goggles is the recently introduced evil Mirror Mirror universe twin of Rose Tinted Specs. Instead of a well loved classic, a film whose reputation in the gutter is fished out and held up to scrutiny. Does it deserve its manure caked status or should it among the stars?
This novel approach of looking afresh at a film, putting aside all the critical baggage accrued over the years, yields some fascinating results. For every subject that emerges with its reputation intact, another will stumble and fall. Obviously some contextual passes are handed out – after all, you can’t criticise the effects work in 1951’s The Day The Earth Stood Still for not being up the standards set by Avatar, or moan a film as influential as Psycho is dull because you’ve seen its best tricks redone in countless subsequent films. However you can have a pop when you discover that the movie that thrilled when you were eight years old is actually full of acting so bad it that curls your nose hairs and plot holes you could lose a giraffe in.
Their coverage also differs from other podcasts in that while many shows have a feedback section, in The Black Dog the audience is actively encouraged to join in the dialogue. As the immortal Darron Diamond croons in the latest Rose Tinted Specs jingle -
“You’re gonna watch a film you liked when you were young,
Stick it in the player and send us feedback when you’re done”
Hence after Lee and Darren have said their piece, they open the floor to the listeners. So The Black Dog in addition to delivering informative reviews, a good proportion of the show becomes an intelligent discussion of the subject of the week; critiques transforming into dialogues. This all gives the show a wonderful dimension of community, and recently with the Shit Covered Goggles being held up to the likes of The Phantom Menace and Batman & Robin, the shows have turned into massive group therapy sessions, with all and sundry venting fan steam, exorcising geek demons and healing psychic scars.
And it has to be said, The Black Dog has an excellent supporting cast of feedbackers. Time and time again Black Dog listeners have proved themselves to be witty, erudite and frequently very inventive. And if you do your The Black Dog homework, you can be part of the fun too.
Overall The Black Dog is insightful and frequently hilarious. Lee and Darren are the perfect double act; well informed and naturally very funny. And although some weeks the subject under the spotlight may take a bit of pasting, it’s always done in good humour and they are always very fair in their assessments. For example, an early show tackled one of my personal favourites - Doctor Who - and the old classic series took some heavy fire to say the least. But I couldn’t take any offence at the drubbing my favourite show received as I was too busy laughing like a drain. But more importantly they raised some very valid critical points which the usual rose tinted vision hides, and delivered that rarest of things, a truly fresh look at the old series.
There’s a Black Dog Facebook group too – find it here.
And they are on Twitter too – follow Lee, Darren, or even the lounge king lizard himself Mr Darron Diamond by clicking their names! Sadly Spinny the Hubcap has yet to make his presence felt in the Twitterverse…
