Hypnogoria

HYPNOBOBS 65 - The Secret Garden

2012-01-29T02:23:00.000-08:00

This week we are returning to the works of the great GK Chesteron, for a second tale featuring his clerical sleuth Father Brown. At a dinner party held by the famous police detective Valentin, the little priest discovers an unwanted additional course on the menu... vicious bloody murder!

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The Truth About RAWHEAD REX Part II - Awakenings

2012-01-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

When The Books of Blood were first published in 1984, to say they caused something of a sensation in the realm of weird fiction is something of an understatement. This first three volumes published by Sphere were very soon attracting praise from some of the biggest names in the field - Stephen King famously said "I have seen the future of horror fiction and its name is Clive Barker", a quote that very soon was emblazoned on the jackets of subsequent printings, and Ramsey Campbell remarked that Barker was "in the best sense, the most deeply shocking writer now working in the field".

And certainly it was a most shocking début - for here was a fresh, highly talented writer who had emerged full-formed out of nowhere; rather the usual route of short stories appearing in a variety of magazines first, Barker appeared on the bookshelves with three top notch volumes of tales, and another three swiftly followed. Of course initially, the first half of the Books of Blood emerged with little fanfare, however it didn't take long before publishers were spoilt for choice with a host of awards to cite and a forest of glowing review to quote.

Barker's own stated purpose for The Books of Blood was to show the diversity and flexibility of the horror story - they could be funny, poetic, sexy, mythological, psychological, and provoking a wider range of emotional responses than the usual fear and dread. Now often when an author states he wants to shake up or redefine the horror genre, this often results in dusting off the old guard - vampires, werewolves, zombies etc. - and giving them the dreaded 'new twist'. And while Barker's magnificent set of stories did feature classic genre staples such as the restless dead and summoned demons, it was far more than just making a reanimated mummy 'contemporary' by slapping on a set of Ray Bans on the dusty bandages. By and large, these were unconventional stories that avoided the typical paths and took us into new and delightfully disturbing territory, and when he did set out to reawaken an old terror, he looked much further than the Universal Pictures canon.

In Volume III, Barker introduced us to Rawhead Rex, a slavering giant unleashed into the modern world, but as we discovered in the first part of this article, this rampaging beast wasn't one of the menagerie of original horrors borne of Clive's imagination, but an ancient British folk devil given a new lease of life. Seemingly taking a cue from earlier weird writers usch as Arthur Machen and HP Lovecraft who postulated that our angels, demons and fairies were distorted legends of pre-human horrors, the Rawhead-&-Bloody Bones of English folklore became a survivor of pagan times, a remnant of a pre-human race of "things which owned this land. Before Christ. Before civilisation".

Although it is a fantastic monster-on-the-loose tale, this being a Barker story, Rawhead Rex isn't just an old legend on the rampage. Speaking in Nexus #04 Barker noted "Monster on the rampage stories are about the phallic principle. Large males run around terrorising women. Basically, I wrote a story about a ten foot prick which goes on the rampage." And indeed in this darkly poetic tale, the titular ancient king does embody masculinity run amok, with themes pitting paganism against Christianity, the urban against the rural, and enough symbolism to fuel dozens of academic papers. In other words, exactly the kind of material that had The Books of Blood flying off the shelves.

And given the big splash these début volumes had made, it wasn't long before Hollywood came calling. Or rather, a small independent UK film company asked Barker for a screenplay. The result was Transmutations aka Underworld, a project that barely saw the light of day and that all parties involved were disappointed by. However the same folks also had snapped up the rights to the story Rawhead Rex and asked if Barker himself wanted to do the screenplay, assuringly him that the same mistakes would not be made again. And in fairness, largely they weren't, however the resulting movie Rawhead Rex (1986) didn't exactly meet with approval from either Barker or fans of The Books of Blood...

However despite it's poor reception, director George Pavlou's take on Barker's tale has developed something of a cult status. No one is claiming it to be an unrecognised classic yet, but it is fondly remembered by lovers of creature features and hokey B-movies. For this is exactly the flavour of the movie Rawhead's meat; pure burger and cheese.

To it's credit, it retains the infamous baptism scene and much of Rawhead's bloody violence, although as Pavlou acknowledged in an interview in Fangoria #16, they had to tread carefully on the gore front for at this point in the 1980s the censors were paying close attention to even minor independent horror flicks in the wake of the video nasty furore. However, the problem with Rawhead Rex is not that the violence of Barker's vision had been diluted, for it is still rather faithful to Barker's tale, but that the mythic qualities of the original text has been lost.

And so we have a straight-forward monster movie unspooling on screen, and while Pavlou tries gamely to play it straight classic horror style, unfortunately the constraints of the budget shrouds the entire proceedings in B-movie hokiness. Now for lovers of corny creature features, this makes for an entertainingly schlocky hour and a half, however Barker fans will be groaning at at the wandering plot, cheesy not-so-special effects, and the generally dumbing down of the original text. And when I first saw this flick, back in the days when VHS was king, I was very much in the latter camp.

Having seen numerous stills and heard Pavlou talking a good game in the aforementioned issue of Fangoria, I was quite looking forward to it, however in the end the film itself left me disappointed. Now partly this was because the Rawhead FX didn't look as nearly as impressive when you saw them in motion - he looks great in photographs, but in the movie he's clearly a very large puppet head most of the time. But in fairness, Peter Litten and his crew did wonders with meagre resources and very little time, and the reason Rawhead ends up looking more comical than horrific is more down to the woolly direction.

Less forgivably on the FX front, and a perfect example of how this movie really loses its way, is the grand finale where assorted electric blue blobs are scribbled over the action to denote the ancient pagan feminine force that is the only thing that Rawhead fears. Now the trouble is not that the less-than-magical light-show is an el cheapo rendition of the ILM lens flare galas that crowned the climatic scenes of '80s blockbusters like Raiders of the Lost Ark or Poltergeist, but more the fact that these unwelcome bad acid visuals are a sledgehammer blow to the plot as well as the eyeballs.

Now I appreciate that the ending as written by Barker may well have been deemed less than cinematic - in the original story, our pagan titan is subdued by a fertility icon and stomped to death by a mob of villagers. However while the replacement light-storm of neon doodles and glow-in-the-dark standing stones that somehow age Rawhead into a senile delinquent and cause him to buried once under the earth, may have looked better on paper, what we get on-screen is less than satisfying. Aside the budget not being up to delivering the fireworks, the trouble is that although the script has a nice twist in the use of this artefact, not found in the original tale, this final confront feels somewhat fudged.

Firstly because while the magna mater statuette seems to drain Rex of his vitality, it stops short of what any lover of monster movies expects - namely that he is not just going to age, but disintegrate before our very eyes. Secondly, and no doubt the reason why he doesn't crumble into dust, is the fact that at the very end he pops up again from the grave (© Carrie 1976) for no discernible reason. Well, other than to deliver a final shock and completely trash the logic of the preceding narrative. Finally there's a nagging sense of cop-out to Rawhead's defeat, with shades of a wizard did it - you can't help feeling that the death by mob ending of the short story would have been far more visceral and fitting.

And this is the crux of the matter, the dark poetic guts of the story are torn out by rusty monster movie clichés. Now on one hand, I can appreciate Rawhead Rex as a slice of '80s schlock but on the other, you can see there's a better film of the tale to be made, that would be gripping and disturbing rather enjoyably corny. Indeed Barker himself has spoken at length on where the movie got it wrong, identifying in particular that they went in the wrong direction with the character design -

I drew this big dick and they said 'it looks like a dark dick to us.' I said 'you've got it.' They thought more Arnold Schwarzenegger and I knew I was in trouble. They got this German ski instructor who was 6' 3" with bigger pectorals than Linda Evans - his tits overshadowed his navel. They got it all completely wrong. I whined at them a little bit and they said 'get out of our face'.

However several years later we would see a version of Rawhead that was closer to Barker's vision, when Eclipse Comics adapted the original story 1994.

Rawhead Rex as envisioned by Les Edwards

Now I'm sure you can understand why the film-makers were perhaps a little reticent to go down this particular design route and opted instead for the bestial ancient warrior look. And despite the excellence of Les Edwards' painted panels, I'd have to say that when you have the phallic metaphor rearing up before your very eyes, the story does lose something. The cheeky subtext become just text - Rawhead isn't just a symbol for a penis, he clearly IS a penis - and consequently you are left feeling like you are trapped in the middle of a curiously bloody dick joke.

Hence I am not entirely sure that changing the design of Rex is the real problem, as the hulking beast-king of the movie is still suitably symbolically phallic to retain the subtext without tea bagging you with it. Rather what the movie is really missing, and whose absence reduces it to a standard creature feature, is Rawhead's point of view - in the story, we see many scene through his red-litten eyes. And without experiencing his interior processes, we are left with a ravenous but empty shell.

Of course, capturing the flavour of the thoughts of a monster is a tall order for even the most gifted director. However just by the simple means of staging a few flashback sequences to Rawhead's reign in ancient days, or just having more mood shots of Rawhead roaming through his now lost kingdom, would have given our monster more depth and character. And that's what marks out all the truly great monsters: it isn't how fearsome they are or how bloody their exploits, it's their personality, whether it's the humanity we find in Kong, the elegance of Dracula, or sheer otherness of the xenomorph.

However sadly the Rawhead in the film could easily be replaced by any other monster or even just standard slasher killer. Really the movie needed to build more of an atmosphere of a dark fairy tale, with a greater sense of the rural landscape - in other words, in needed to draw on the very folk-tales from which Rawhead sprang.

But in another way the movie has been strangely influential. Barker was so disappointed with the way Rawhead Rex turned out, that the next time Hollywood came calling, he insisted on directing and the result was Hellraiser. So then, in a fashion that will no doubt delight students of monsterology, Rawhead Rex could be said to be the progenitor of Pinhead and the order of Cenobites...

HYPNOBOBS 64 - Zombi Zombi Part I

2012-01-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

In the first of new occasional series, Mr Jim Moon foolishly decides to chart all the various spin-offs, remakes and sequels to George Romero's classic Night of the Living Dead. In this opening episode, we discuss the Zombi: L’alba Dei Morti Viventi - AKA Dario Argento cut of Dawn of the Dead, Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 AKA Zombie and Zombie Flesh-Eaters, and the Fulci/Mattei hybrid horror Zombi 3.

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ZOMBI ZOMBI

2012-01-21T04:22:00.000-08:00

A teaser for the forthcoming HYPNOBOBS 64 - Zombi Zombi Part I, in which we discuss the Zombi: L’alba dei Morti Viventi - aka Dario Argento cut of Dawn of the Dead, Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 aka Zombie and Zombie Flesh-Eaters and the Fulci/Mattei hybrid horror Zombi 3.

Zombi Zombi (mp3)

Trexstatic Stars

2012-01-20T01:56:00.000-08:00

It's Friday and that can only mean it's time for the stars....Get it on!

Trexstatic Stars! (mp3)

Happy Birthday to Mr Edgar Allan Poe!

2012-01-19T02:55:00.000-08:00

Today would have been Mr Edgar Allan Poe's two hundred and fourth birthday! And to help you celebrate this anniversary here the collection of Poe themed podcasts I did last year...

HYPNOBOBS #40

In order to prepare for some forthcoming shows in which we shall be discussing the various feline noir movies inspired by Mr Edgar Allan Poe, this week we return to the Library of Dreams, where curled up by the fire is Mr Jim Moon who will read for you Mr Poe's classic tales The Black Cat and Ligeia...

HYPNOBOBS #41

This week Mr Jim Moon begins an examination of the various screen adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe's classic tale The Black Cat. In this show, we look at The Black Cat (1934) starring Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff, the early exploitation flick Maniac (1934), the chills and chuckles of The Black Cat (1941), Roger Corman's Tomb of Ligeia (1964) starring the legendary Vincent Price, and the obscure but distinctly groovy The Black Cat (1966).

HYPNOBOBS #42

In order to prepare for the second round of movie adaptations of The Black Cat next week, this time round we have two more tales by Poe that feature in the anthology films Tales of Terror (1962) and Two Evil Eyes (1990). So settle back by the fireside for readings of Morella and The Facts in The Case of M.Valdemar...

HYPNOBOBS #43

Continuing our exploration of adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe's The Black Cat, Mr Jim Moon first dissects in depth Roger Corman's Tales of Terror (1962) starring Peter Lorre, Basil Rathbone and the patron saint of Hypnobobs Mr Vincent Price. Then in an unplanned tangent, rambles about the history of Italian cinema and the birth of giallo, before getting stuck into Sergio Martino's catchily titled Your Vice Is A Locked Room And Only I Have The Key (1972) and tries not to drool over Edwige Fenech.

HYPNOBOBS #44

After something of an enforced break, we're back with a full length episode, concluding our Black Cats of Poe series! But we saved the best for last! For this episode is a veritable who's who of horror maestros with the legends Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, George A. Romero and Stuart Gordon all bringing Poe to the screen!

Further episodes of HYPNOBOBS can be found here...

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And as an added treat, here is a reading of two poems by Poe - The City in the Sea and Annabel Lee

Two Verses From Mr Edgar Allan Poe (mp3)

The Truth About RAWHEAD REX Part I - Excavations

2012-01-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

Rawhead and Bloody Bones

Steals naughty children from their homes,

Takes them to his dirty den,

And they are never seen again.

- Northern British Nursery Rhyme

Much like many of literary heroes, such as as the late great R Chetwynd-Hayes, the arcane field of monsterology as long been a fascination of mine. For monsters are born of our primal fears, and as such taxonomies may be constructed placing these horrors of the imagination in families according to the root terrors they are spawned from. Indeed we should note that the very word 'monster' reflects this symbolic nature in its etymology, being as it is derived from the Latin 'monstrum' which, as well as being a term for a hideous beast that evokes fear and wonder, also means 'omen'. Hence the sighting of a monster in the ancient world was not just fodder for a hair-raising tale, by a sign with a hidden meaning to be to be deciphered from the creature's chimeric make-up.

However it is often claimed that much like jokes and plots, there are only so many monsters that can be made. And to certain degree this is true, given the same archetypal loins they are birthed from. However as cultures change, different beasts and bogeymen come haunt the shadows of our minds, with old fears gaining new faces. And while some, such has the Dragon and the Ghost never fade away, others disappear into the mists of history. But as every student of all things monstreal knows, sometimes they come back. Take for example the strange case of Raw-head...

Now then, many of you will be familiar with Rawhead Rex, the tale of an ancient pagan man-beast released to wreak havoc in the modern word, penned by the legendary Clive Barker, and brought to the screen in a less than legendary fashion by George Pavlou. Equally I'm sure many of you too, will be thinking that the titular Rex is one of those unique products of Barker's celebrated imagination.

Well that's not strictly the case, for until his appearance in The Books of Blood Volume III (Sphere 1984), Rawhead was a long lost English monster, surviving only in fragments collected by folklorists. For example, the great MR James remarked in the opening of this tale An Evening's Entertainment -

Nothing is more common form in old-fashioned books than the description of the winter fireside, where the aged grandam narrates to the circle of children that hangs on her lips story after story of ghosts and fairies, and inspires her audience with a pleasing terror. But we are never allowed to know what the stories were. We hear, indeed, of sheeted spectres with saucer eyes, and — still more intriguing — of ‘Rawhead and Bloody Bones’ (an expression which the Oxford Dictionary traces back to 1550), but the context of these striking images eludes us.

As we may infer from the above passage, unfortunately none of the tales circulated about Rawhead and Bloody Bones survived into the modern ages. However the fact that stories featuring these night-terrors must have been commonplace is evidenced by the number of references to them alongside the usual monstrous suspects. For example, in John Jeffere's drama Buggbears (1564), we have a monster shopping list that includes -

Hob Goblin, Raw-Head, & bloudie bones and ouglie hagges Bugbeares, & helhoundes, and hecat the nyght mare

And a few years later in 1566, one John Rastell notes in Booke III of his A Treatise Intitled, Beware of M. Lewel -

There is not that Discretion or Consideration, by which they may put a difference betwene their Grandmothers tale of Bloudy bone, Raw head, Bloudelesse and Ware woulf, and the Churches Doctrine of Hell and the Deuill.

And aside from the tales relating to this particular bogey being lost and leaving us with tantalizing reference to ponder, there seems to be some confusion over whether Rawhead and Bloody Bones are one monster or two: sometimes they are listed separately and sometimes together as Rawhead-&-Bloody Bones.

Certainly after the 16th century, the terms appear separated in regional folklore. For example, there a references to local bogey named 'Tommy Rawhead' in East Anglia, Warwickshire, Lincolnshire, Yorkshire and Lancashire, whereas in Somerset and other parts of the South, tales were told of Bloody Bones.

In some places, these figures haunted caves, cliffs and stretches of water, preying on the the unwary and serving as a convenient warning to keep the young and foolish away from naturally hazardous locales. In others, they were evoked as a warning against bad behaviour, being said to come to carry off and devour those who did not heed their teachers, parents or masters.

But what was this beast actually like? Well the Oxford English Dictionary provides a hint in its definition of the term -

A bugbear or bogeyman, typically imagined as having a head in the form of a skull, or one whose flesh has been stripped of its skin, invoked to frighten children. Also occas.: a skull. Freq. used in conjunction with bloody-bones (see bloody-bones n.)

Further more detail is provide by folklorist Katharine Briggs in The Fairies in Tradition and Literature (Routledge 1967) who quotes Ruth Tongue's Somerset Folklore which relates that Bloody-Bones -

...lived in a dark cupboard, usually under the stairs. If you were heroic enough to peep through a crack you would get a glimpse of the dreadful, crouching creature, with blood running down his face, seated waiting on a pile of raw bones that had belonged to children who told lies or said bad words.

However scholars subsequent to Dr James have not unearthed any specific tales; we still have no trace of any actually stories detailing this being's exploits. At least not in his native land, for evidently the presence of Rawhead & Bloody Bones was so widespread in the English oral tradition, that this mysterious yet rather busy beast, crossed the Atlantic with the early American settlers.

However in the New World, he was somewhat redefined. Although his name was still frequently used as a by-word for bogeyman, over time he changed shape and formed some new stories. Instead of a gore dripping spectre, Rawhead became a demonic razorback, but still retaining his appetite for violence and human flesh. A typical version of the story, as told in Missouri can be found here.

But what of the British Rawhead? Well he appeared to slowly fade away, along with many other traditional supernatural predators like Jenny Greenteeth and the Redcap, largely forgotten except by the afore-mentioned collectors of folklore and students of monsterology. However the need for monsters is ever present and it was only a matter of time before a certain Mr Barker was to reawaken him...

HYPNOBOBS 63 - Dracula's Guest

2012-01-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

This week as the snow and ice lies deep and crisp and even, Mr Jim Moon reads a wintry classic from Bram Stoker. So take your place in the carriage for a visit to Dracula's Guest...

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STAG NIGHT OF THE DEAD!

2012-01-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

Break out the six pack and the heavy weapons! Mr Jim Moon has a most unusual zombie night out with STAG NIGHT OF THE DEAD (2011)!

Head over the to the new and improved GEEKPLANET ONLINE for the full review!

The Load of Hot Air That Is The Stars

2012-01-13T01:52:00.000-08:00

More dubious drivel parped up from the Mystics Ones....

The Load of Hot Air That Is The Stars (mp3)

HYPNOBOBS 62 - Rambling Through 2011

2012-01-08T08:48:00.000-08:00

In a not-at-all definitive review of the year, Mr Jim Moon has a look at the state of film and TV in 2011. Items from the silver screen discussed include Fright Night, The Thing, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, X Men: First Class, Green Lantern, Paul, Attack The Block, Cowboys and Aliens, and Sucker Punch.

And on the small screen, we talk about Dexter, Supernatural, The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time, Grimm, American Horror Story, Merlin, Doctor Who, Black Mirror, Breaking Bad, Community, Game of Thrones and Holy Flying Circus.

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THE LONG ARM OF THE STARS

2012-01-06T01:59:00.000-08:00

A *ahem* unofficial guest astrologer... one Bertie the Bat... delivers the prophecies for the week!

The Long Arm of the Stars (mp3)

THE COPPER PROMISE: GHOSTS OF THE CITADEL by Jennifer Williams

2011-12-27T04:27:00.000-08:00

Now if you're anything like me, the thought of some mucking about with a magic sword, crossing words with greybeard wizards and ducking blasts of dragon-fire holds a deep and long-lasting appeal. Yes, we've all set off with Frodo and Sam many a time now, shadowed Conan as he pillages the Tower of the Elephant on more than one occasion, can sing along with the daemonic howls of Stormbringer, and know the streets of Lankhmar and Anhk-Morpork by heart. Furthermore, I'm also guessing that I'm not the only one who has spent a great many hours exploring perilous dungeons, tumbling through the shady streets of thieves' dens, looting forgotten temples and walloping assorting monsters with a variety of medieval weapons, either through the arcane rituals of miniatures and dice or the weaving of code and pixel.

However here's the rub, I'm also guessing that despite devouring the collected works of luminaries such as Tolkien, Howard, Leiber, and Moorcock, you generally give the heaving fantasy shelves in your local book-store a miss, at least until the next volume of George RR Martin's modern classic A Song of Ice and Fire comes along. And why is this? Well, because we've all been burned too often in the past by bloated fantasy epics, titanic series of books that go steadily downhill and yet insist on adding trilogy after trilogy to the sequence until A) carrying the complete collection would give a Frost Giant a hernia and B) you'd happily side with the Dark Evil Overlord just to stomp that stupid green and pleasant kingdom flat.

Yes, it's a regrettable legacy of Tolkien, that so many fantasy authors seem to think that not only it is mandatory to pen a trilogy but try to trump old JRR and churn out something five times longer. And this has always struck me as somewhat odd, for the other great heroes of fantasy, Conan, Elric, and Fafhrd and The Gray Mouser have flourished in sequences of shorter self-contained works like novellas and short stories. And indeed for fantastic and weird fiction of all flavours, the days when short stories and novellas were served up by a host of magazines and periodicals, from the Victorian penny dreadfuls to the pulps through to cheap paperback boom of the mid 20th century, were a golden age when many of the classics of fantasy, horror, and scifi were penned.

Of course, partly the current state of affairs is to do with the mechanics of modern publishing; novels sell but the market for short stories is a shadow of its former self, and as Stephen King remarked in his afterword to Different Seasons, the novella is deeply unpopular all publishers of all stripes. However the exciting digital frontier of publishing is breaking down this status quo dictated by the logistics of print and paper, and once again a story can be only as long as it need to be. But hopefully that's not the only revival that will be brought by the rise of the ebook, for I'm hoping for a return of short form weird fiction, an age of digital pulps if you will, where a host of new talents can spin us tales of heroes, spacemen, and monsters...

...And the good news is it has already begun! For all of you who fancy a rip-roaring adventure in magical lands, where beneath benighted ruins ancient sorceries and dire beasts guard long lost treasures, I present to you, The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel, a deliciously old school fantasy novella from the pen of Jennifer Williams.

Just released for the Kindle, and any electrickery such as your PC or phone that can pretend it's a Kindle, The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel is the perfect antidote to all those tedious multi-book less-than-epics. There's no pages of greybeards waffling on, no garrulous wizards who spend all their time yapping rather hurling spells, and no reams of charts, genealogies and glossaries you need to flip through every five minutes just in order to work out whose doing something to someone else some where else. Instead we have a proper fantasy adventure, packed with action and wit, where a motley crew embark on an extremely hazardous bout of dungeoneering in the edifice of the title.

It's a proudly pulp caper, and I mean that as a high compliment - a tightly crafted tale that effortlessly carries you away to a land that never was where arcane adventures dwell, delivering the kind of fantastic thrills that so many of the elephantine endless tomes of modern fantasy are so sorely lacking. It's exciting and well paced, steering well clear of both the ponderous and the twee, serving up a slice of gritty and dynamic questing And it's not just on the action front where this story has the edge on its thousand paged brothers.

To begin with we have characters who talk naturally rather than sounding like a bunch of hams who didn't get into the Royal Shakespeare company. And unlike the massed ranks of fantasy ciphers who are always po-facedly pouting thees and thous, this bunch banter and bicker, even cracking a joke or two and ribbing each other, lightening the dangerous darkness they are descending into in a very human fashion.

But also our lead characters in The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel aren't the usual virtually super-powered fantasy heroes; much like Mr Fritz Leiber's heroes Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser of his Lankhmar stories, our not-so merry band come across as real people rather than pumped up stereotypes, complete with quirks, flaws and their own individual reasons for adventuring into the dangerous depths of the labyrinthine ruins of the Citadel.

Furthermore this fascinating band inhabit a concisely sketched but believable fantasy world. The world of The Copper Promise isn't the usual tired old pleasant lands menaced by dodgy monstrous foreigners from over the nearby mountains. Instead we have a medieval world of city states and kingdoms caught up in a more realistic march of history i.e. just getting on business of developing their civilisations. And most refreshingly these newly imagined lands that names like Creos and Crosshaven, that sound geographically authentic, rather than the usual failed attempts at exotica that read like random selections from a Scrabble bag. We don't get to see much of this world in this particular story, but there are hints and tantalizing details aplenty to build landscapes in the mind.

Finally it has to be said that The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel is beautifully written. Again Williams agilely steps over the usual fantasy pitfall of writing in a mock archaic idiom, and keeps her prose tight but evocative, and sporting an very distinctive and entertaining turn of phrase. But don't take my word for it, check out this illustrative excerpt -

The passageway was narrow, the steps uneven, the walls damp. Gallo brushed his free hand against the stones and his fingers came away covered in a thin green slime. Ahead there was a darkness as deep and complete as anything he had ever seen; it was like a solid thing, so that he almost feared to go too quickly lest he hit his head on it.

As you have probably gathered, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this little novella. And I'm certainly looking forward to a second adventure in the world of The Copper Promise; indeed the tale ends not quite on a cliff-hanger but at point where it's clear there is more to come. For this is but the first in a quartet of novellas that will link together, with the second instalment coming in February all going well.

The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel scratched a fantasy itch I've had for a long time - to read a tale of high adventure and sword and sorcery in the classic pulp vein, a story free of the usual cut-and-paste borrowings from Tolkien and D&D. Hence there are no Dark Lords with the clichéd hordes of goblin analogues and no bloody elves waving twigs and crystals about like medieval New Agers. Instead we have split blood and death in the shadows, treachery and torture, thrills and spills, and more than a twist or two along the way. It simply packed with all the fun, excitement and intrigue you want from an old school fantasy adventure.

And the wonderful thing is that thanks to the marvels of this age of digital downloads and electronic-librariums, this fine tale will only set you back a mere £2.99 - around the same price as a cup of franchise coffee or a chain pub pint! Seriously how can you resist! In a couple of clicks time, you too could be venturing into the perilous dark...

Buy The Copper Promise: Ghosts of the Citadel here

You read a preview extract of The Copper Promise here

And check out Jennifer's blog here

DOCTOR WHO - The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe

2011-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

TARDIS scanners indicate an absence of spoilers!

Well than another year, another Doctor Who Christmas Special! And as usual, the normal rules of the show are somewhat altered by the festivities. For as I have previously remarked (see Doctor Yule - Christmases in the TARDIS), having a prime spot in the Christmas Day schedule means that the now traditional hour long episode must be geared up for an audience sated with food, drink and general merriment.

When he brought the show back our screens and netted the honour of an extended episode to go out on December 25th, Russell T Davies was very clear that a Christmas special should be, well, Christmasy. And this is something that Steven Moffat has maintained as now the festive episode of Doctor Who is something of a tradition and so every year we enjoy an often light and daft romp sprinkled with some Yuletide magic.

But also these seasonal outings have spawned another tradition - the annual argument over the quality of the episode. For often, these Christmas Day episodes tend to divide the fans - there are those who enjoy their seasonal silliness, and those who insist on judging them as an ordinary episode for the Doctor. Now I am very much somewhere in the middle; that often the Christmas Day specials make for good festive television but aren't necessarily prime cuts of the show we love.

But I'm cool with that, as in the world of television it is something of a tradition that a Christmas special can cut loose and deliver something as much festooned in silliness and sentiment as it is in tinsel and softly falling snow. And at the end of the day, I'll accept the bargain that we get an adventure which will play well to a family stuffed with turkey, booze and chocolate but won't necessarily stand up outside the festive season. For like Messers Davies and Moffat, I believe that a Christmas Special should be brimming with the spirit of the season and that if it is doing it job right, it should fall flat when viewed in July!

And needless to say all the above applies in spades for The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe. Now this year, Mr Moffat promised us another special that tipped its hat to a classic Christmasy tale, and you don't need to be the mercurial mind of Mr Sherlock Holmes to guess that this episode has something of a Narnian flavour to it. So then it's no spoiler to say that we have a tale of enchanted portals and magical snowy forests here.

However whereas last year's festive outing perhaps sailed too close to the work it was homaging, namely Dickens' A Christmas Carol, this story feels more balanced. Yes, it is clearly referencing CS Lewis' The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe but the shape of the story isn't just the plot of that enduring children's favorite bedecked in Who shaped baubles and scifi trimmings. And in this respect, the tale is all the stronger for it.

Now looking at the cast list, which includes British comedy luminaries such as Bill Bailey, Alexander Armstrong and Arabella Weir, you might be expecting an adventure high in laughs and wearing its funny bone on its sleeve. However, although there is a sprinkling of giggles, by and large this is more weighted to the heart-warming sentiment side of Christmas rather than the camp and silly. And indeed, judging from many of reviews, a common complaint about this episode is that we don't actually see that much of our comedy triumvirate. However Armstrong largely in a straight role and when Bailey and Weir do appear alongside the equally funny Paul Bazely, they are gold, and the fact that we're left wanting more of these characters is surely a credit to the script.

Also subverting expectations is the fact that this story doesn't deliver a huge, bombastic threat to either the Earth, the universe or life itself. It's a remarkably small scale tale, and to be honest that's a refreshing change. Similarly although there twists and turns, this is another patent Moffat timey-wimey head bender either. And again that sits very well with me for this festive outing. Yes, it's a simple story, and yes, you can see the ending coming a mile way. But this is a Christmas story and complaints that you can see the happy ending from the get-go are somewhat irrelevant as any Yuletide special worth its salt has everything magically working out for the best in the end.

And yes, it's not the greatest Doctor Who story told - but it was a wonderful Christmas special. And although it's hard to judge right now in the Boxing Day haze, I do rather think it might be one of the best ones yet. While some may have wanted something bigger or more complex, I think the story's tight focus, intimate scale and general straight forward nature made for an ideal festive episode, which delivered the fun and warm feelings without disappearing over the top into indulgent nonsense.

It was perfectly pitched, with enough comedy to tickle the ribs, and the sentiment rooted in simple but solid drama rather schmaltz. But there was also some memorable and nicely realized monsters, a good mystery for the Doctor to solve, and bags of festive atmosphere in the way the story revolved around a certain Christmas icon. And there were a delightful couple of Christmas presents for both fans new and old too, in the shape of references to the Eccleston and Davison eras. In short, one the better judged Christmas presents we've had from the Doctor Who team.

HYPNOBOBS 61 - Christmas Spirits Part III - Our Victorian Ghost Party

2011-12-22T14:18:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Eve at Hypnogoria Towers, Mr Jim Moon is throwing a Victorian style party and you're all invited! Featuring music, laughter and recitations! Mr Ian Hayles drops by to perform his Dickensian wonder Chains and Mr Moon regales you with readings of Jerome K Jerome's Our Ghost Party and MR James' The Story of A Disappearance and An Appearance...

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CHRISTMAS SPIRITS - A Gazetteer of British Televisual Ghost Seen At Christmas

2011-12-22T04:57:00.000-08:00

As a textual companion to HYPNOBOBS 60 - Christmas Spirits Part II : The Ghosts of Christmas Television Past, as promised in that epic length 'cast, here is an equally lengthy article setting down all the details and some alternative remarks the spectral productions which have graced the idiot lantern in Blighty over Yuletide...

Click here to take the ghostly tour!

We've also opened up a new section of the Library, a Christmas shelf as it were, collecting together assorted festive scribbles! Find it here!

THE BOX OF DELIGHTS - How To Make A Posset!

2011-12-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

A favourite part of the Yuletide festivities here at Hypnogoria Towers is revisiting The Box of Delights, both as the original novel by John Masefield and the 1980s BBC Television six part adaptation. Indeed Last Christmas, I waxed lyrical about this seasonal classic for the Christmas edition of Hypnobobs.

It is a truly magical tale and a well named one too! For as well as old magic and lashings of snow, it contains a marvellous recipe recounted by the Police Inspector at Condicotes, han hofficer of the law who habitually hads hextra aitches hall over the place! Hand, I mean, and, over the last few years as the cold and frosty nights have come, I have greatly enjoyed this vintage nightcap, the wondrous posset!

But what I hear you cry is a posset! Well, I shall hand you hover, I mean over, to the Hinspector...

But you young folks in this generation, you don't know what a posset is. Well a posset," said the Inspector, "is a jorum of hot milk; and in that hot milk, Master Kay, you put a hegg, and you put a spoonful of treacle, and you put a grating of nutmeg, and you stir 'em well up, and you get into bed and then you take 'em down hot. And a posset like that, taken overnight will make a new man of you!

Now then, if you were wondering 'a jourm' is is a large bow, often with handles, for drinking out! Now if you don;t have jorum, an ordinary sturdy mug will do!

Furthermore, if you prefer you may replace the treacle with brown sugar or golden syrup, depending upon your taste. I also like to add a generous dash of cinnamon for that extra Christmasy flavour! And I can personally attest to the revitalising powers the Hinspector refers to!

CHRISTMAS SPIRITS - The Origins of Christmas Ghost Stories

2011-12-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

There'll be parties for hosting

Marshmallows for toasting

And carolling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories

And tales of the glories

of Christmases long, long ago…

So sang Andy Williams back in 1963 in his festive favourite It's the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. And the lyric quoted above has caused much scratching of heads over the years, as not every one is aware of the old tradition of telling spooky tales upon a Christmas night. Indeed some have wondered whether the lines above are merely referring solely, in a hap-hazard fashion, to Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

But of course there's more spectres abroad at Yuletide other than just Mr Marley and his crew. To begin with some of the finest ghost stories ever written were produced by MR James who notes in the preface to his first collection of tales, Ghost Stories of An Antiquary (1904) -

I wrote these stories at long intervals, and most of them were read to patient friends, usually at the seasons of Christmas ...

And indeed from surviving diaries, letters and other items of supporting evidence that famous tales of his, such as Number 13, Oh Whistle & I'll Come To You and A School Story were first read aloud to friends over the festive season.

Furthermore, a little earlier at the turn of the century, Henry James began his classic novella of spectral terrors, The Turn of the Screw in the following fashion which shows the old tradition in action...

The story had held us, round the fire, sufficiently breathless, but except the obvious remark that it was gruesome, as, on Christmas Eve in an old house, a strange tale should essentially be, I remember no comment uttered till somebody happened to say that it was the only case he had met in which such a visitation had fallen on a child.

And certainly the Christmas spirits enjoyed a veritable heyday in Victorian times. Supernatural fiction as a whole was immensely popular with the Victorians. Now we tend to think of the ladies and gentlemen of that period as being stolid, stuffy types, however this is something of a fallacy. For as Matthew Sweet makes clear in his excellent book Inventing The Victorians(St Martin's Press 2001) actually the contrary was closer to the truth - rather than staid and prim prudes, our bewhiskered ancestors were thrill-seekers.

Victorian entertainment and popular culture was very much geared towards the concept of new sensations such as death-defying acrobatics, the delights of the music-halls and new pleasures ushered in by that era's boom in technology such as magic lantern shows and the pioneering stagecraft of magicians such as John Nevil Maskelyne and David Devant.

The Victorian period was an era of public crazes and fads, as the denizens of what was actually a forward-thinking and visionary society eagerly lapped up a succession of new thrills. With industrial technology, making printing cheaper than ever before, literature and the pastime of reading, once the preserve of the monied classes, boomed across all sectors of society. And coupled with crazes for esoteric subjects such as spiritualism, ritual magic and all things Egyptian, it is hardly surprising that this was a golden age too for supernatural and weird fiction.

In addition to an embracing attitude towards death, that to us who are uncomfortable with contemplating our own mortality, seems exceedingly morbid, it is no surprise that ghosts haunted all walks of life. For example, you may be surprised to learn that spooks and spectres were even a staple of Victorian pantomimes, alongside the traditional versions of fairy stories that are performed today. As William Makepeace Thackeray notes in his Roundabout Papers (1853) -

Bob and I went to two pantomimes. One was at the Theatre of Fancy, and the other at the Fairy Opera, and I don't know which we liked the best. At the Fancy, we saw "Harlequin Hamlet, or Daddy's Ghost and Nunky's Pison ", which is all very well - but, gentlemen, if you don't respect Shakespeare, to whom will you be civil? The palace and ramparts of Elsinore by moon and snowlight is one of Loutherbourg's finest efforts.

Considering this popularity of all things spectral and the lasting influence of A Christmas Carol, many commentators and scholars noted Dickens' role in the association of Christmas and ghosts. In the anthology collection Ghosts For Christmas (Michael O'Mara Books Ltd. 1988), editor Richard Dalby notes that -

He began with a segment of the Pickwick Papers, 'The Story of the Goblins who Stole a Sexton' (told by Pickwick's friend Mr. Wardle of Dingley Dell), a prototype of the later full-length story A Christmas Carol with the immortal and repentant Scrooge based upon the sexton Gabriel Grub.

The immensely popular Christmas Numbers of Household Words and All the Year Round, both edited by Dickens, really popularised 'Ghosts at Christmas' as an annual event in the minds of the reading public.

Certainly Mr Dickens can be seen as the architect of many of the elements we most closely associate with the festive period today. For example, our idealised white Christmases, draped in snow and frost, originate with his stories about Yuletide, for while he was a child Britain suffered a mini-Ice Age and hence Dickens' formative Christmases were indeed white.

So then it is no surprise then that many have made the claim that the link between the spectral and the festive was forged by the great writer himself. As Mr Peter Haining, in the introduction to his collection of festive chillers Christmas Spirits (William Kimber & Co 1983), notes -

Yet despite the seeming timelessness of this tradition, it has to be admitted that the idea of creating ghosts stories especially for telling at Christmas goes back no further... than the time of Charles Dickens.

And indeed, many have claimed that there is no evidence of the tradition of Christmas ghosts stories existing prior to Dickens. However like the blankets of snow, surely this association was not the invention of Mr Dickens himself but another element of Christmas he grew up with. However according to scholars there is little evidence to substantiate this theory...

However some carefully searching of the shelves in my library uncovered a source that makes clear the tradition of telling strange tales of the supernatural around the Yule hearth did indeed exist well before Mr Dickens enshrined it in the Victorian Christmas.

Washington Irving in his 1819 book The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent., has his literary alter-ego visit an Englsih country house over the festive period in a section entitled Old Christmas. At one Bracebridge Hall, Crayon enjoys the hospitality of the Squire and enjoys a traditional English Christmas with all the trimmings. And amid the Christmas Day festivities is this -

When I returned to the drawing-room, I found the company seated around the fire, listening to the parson, who was deeply ensconced in a high-backed oaken chair, the work of some cunning artificer of yore, which had been brought from the library for his particular accommodation. From this venerable piece of furniture, with which his shadowy figure and dark weazen face so admirably accorded, he was dealing forth strange accounts of popular superstitions and legends of the surrounding country, with which he had become acquainted in the course of his antiquarian researches.

So then we can see that Christmas ghost stories would have been a traditional pastime in Dickens' childhood. But how much further back does the tradition go?

Now for those who do not buy the Victorian/Dickensian origin theory, the competing contention is that telling ghostly tales at Yuletide is a surviving echoing of ancient Celtic rites. Now as I'm sure most of you will be aware, much of what we take to be part and parcel of Christmas comes not from the Christian religion but from a variety of pagan festivals that took place on the winter solstice such as the Germanic Yule and the Roman Saturnalia. Indeed when one begins to examine the ancient past, it seems that there has always been a holiday on the shortest day of the year which has involved fires, feasts, gift giving and bringing evergreens into the house.

Now all these festivals revolved around the theme of bring light and life to the darkest time of the year, and as Terry Pratchett's memorable phrased it in his novel Hogfather, 'to persuade the Sun to do a decent day's work for a change'. Now it is assumed that during such ancient festivities, stories were told of gods and monsters which explained why the days would grow so dark, and our telling of ghost stories is an echo of these spiritual and religious recitations and rituals.

However as plausible as this ancient pagan theory of Christmas ghost stories is, unfortunately any proper evidence to support it has melted away like snow on Boxing Day. And the standard scholarly view is that there is nothing to point to the existence of the tradition in pre-Victorian times.

However as we have already seen, evidence from Mr Washington Irving shows that ghostly tales were being spun by the fireside of a Christmas night be nearly two decades before Victoria took the throne. Furthermore in his story, The Christmas Tree (1859), in a section often collected separately as Telling Winter Stories, ironically enough Mr Dickens himself gives us a clue to where we may discover how many Christmases ago the tradition truly stretches -

There is probably a smell of roasted chesnuts and other good comfortable things all the time, for we are telling Winter Stories - Ghost Stories, or more shame for us - round the Christmas fire.

Now the important term in that above quote is Winter Stories, for this is no mere idly coined epithet but a specific phrase that has fallen into disuse and whose meaning has been forgotten. For a 'winter story' refered to a fantastical story and this term was in usage for centuries before Dickens. For example, a 17th century century philospher Joesph Glanvill, in his most famous work, the treatise on witchcraft (referenced by Poe in Ligeia and by HP Lovecraft in his Yule horror tale The Festival) Sadducismus Truimphatus (1681) had harsh words for those who dismissed the existence of unearthly powers as "meer Winter Tales, or Old Wives fables".

Rewinding at little further back into the past, we discover this usage of the term was around in William Shakepeare's time. And this is why he titled his strange fable of magic and transformations, A Winter's Tale (1623).

For as Shakespearian scholar Catherine Belsey, in a fascinating article which considers Hamlet as a ghost story, notes -

Among the terms in circulation in the period for far-fetched narratives and improbable fables, one favorite was “a winter’s tale.” In the long, cold evenings, when the soil had been tilled to the extent that climatic conditions permitted, the still predominantly agricultural community of early modern England would sit and while away the hours of darkness with fireside pastimes, among them old wives’ tales designed to enthrall young and old alike.

Shakespeare even has one of characters in A Winter's Tale make the title's meaning clear, with Prince Mamillius proposing to tell the court a story -

A sad tale's best for winter: I have one
Of sprites and goblins...

And as it happens this tale which begins 'There was a man dwelt by a churchyard...' is clearly going to be a ghost story. And indeed many years later, that master of the Christmas ghost story, MR James made an educated guess as to the exact tale the young prince was to recount, penning a story of the same title (the text of which you can find here and my audio reading of it here) and appropriately enough was first published in the December issue of an Eton magazine Snapdragon in 1924.

Alan Koszowski's illustration for MR James' There Was a Man Dwelt By A Churchyard

And looking back to the century previous, we find the Bard of Avon's predecessor Christopher Marlowe using it in the same fashion. In his play The Jew of Malta (1589), he has a character Barnabus saying -

Now I remember those old women's words,

Who in my wealth would tell me winter's tales,

And speak of spirits and ghosts that glide by night

So then we can definitely date the telling of ghost stories as a popular winter past-time to the 16th century. And it seems a safe assumption that the spinning of such winter's tales was a popular part of the Elizabethan Christmas festivities. And of course, considering the slower pace of cultural progress and linguistic evolution in Tudor times, we might posit that for the term 'winter's tale' to become synonymous with weird stories of the fantastic and phantasmagoric that the tradition probably stretches back at least a century further...

However as yet I have not found any further historical evidence to determine this exactly. But regardless, we can with a reasonable degree of certainly pronounce that the Christmas Ghost story has been with us at least since the times of good Queen Bess. And incredibly the tradition is now entering it's fifth century.

Of course these days it's a very different flickering light we gather around, late at night to experience the pleasant terror of a spectral tale at Christmas-time.... television.

HYPNOBOBS 60 - Christmas Spirits Part II - Ghost of Christmas Television Past

2011-12-18T06:49:00.000-08:00

In the second part of our Yuletide festivities, Mr Jim Moon takes an epic length look back at all the various ghostly tales that have haunted our televisions in Christmases past. Featuring productions by luminaries such as Lawrence Gordon Clarke, Dr Jonathan Miller, Nigel Kneale and Mark Gatiss, plus many diverse adaptations of classics by MR James and old favourites like The Turn of the Screw.

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Stars Fit For A Snow Queen

2011-12-16T00:35:00.000-08:00

Once again the Mystic Ones make various dire pronouncements and terrible puns in the name of fortune telling...

Stars Fit For A (Snow) Queen (mp3)

HYPNOBOBS 59 - Christmas Spirits Part 1

2011-12-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

In the first part of this year's festive celebrations, Mr Jim Moon discusses ghosts and Christmas and presents a seasonal chiller penned by Mr Charles Dickens, The Signalman...

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HYPNOBOBS 58 - Christmas With Frankenstein

2011-12-05T09:54:00.001-08:00

In a change to the announced schedule, Mr Jim Moon represents a suitably seasonal tale on the perils of Christmas toys. Coming from the pen of forgotten author Tim Stout, Christmas With Frankenstein is a gleefully ghoulish yarn about some pint-sized replicas of the most famous of the Universal Monsters...

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YOUR STARS FOR THE WEEK...

2011-12-03T10:53:00.001-08:00

The Mystic Ones beam down once to deliver knowledge, wit and wisdom... And over-taxing the machine that goes 'bleep' too...

It"s the Bleeping stars! (mp3)

ALIEN UNDEAD (2011)

2011-11-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

Is Alien Undead (AKA The Dark Lurking) really part Alien, part Evil Dead? Or is it just a low budget knock-off of Aliens? Click below to beam over to GeekPlanetOnline and find out!

Mr Jim Moon vs the Alien Undead!

THE RETURN OF MR JACOB MARLEY (DECEASED) !

2011-11-29T23:01:00.001-08:00

As some of may recall, last year I reviewed a rather wonderful stage production of Charles Dickens' Yuletide classic. Entitled A Christmas Carol As Told By Jacob Marley (Deceased), this was a one man show produced by James Hyland, in which under the guise of English Literature's most famous and festive spectre, he performs the entire tale of his old business partner Scrooge. It was a wonderful production, steeped in the magic of Dickens, infused with the essence of pure theatre, and a marvellous night out for the dark days before Christmas to boot. And so I'm truly delighted to announced that this December, Messers Hyland and Marley are back on the road, and indeed treading the boards again!

And so if the revenant of Mr Marley is resurrecting and manifesting somewhere near you, I thoroughly recommend the trip to your local theatre and catching this particular Christmas spirit!

TOUR DATES

DEC3 @ 7.30pm

CORSHAM- POUND ARTS CENTRE

ThePound, Pound Pill, Corsham, Wiltshire, SN13 9HX

01249701 628 www.poundarts.org.uk

DEC7 @ 7pm

ABERTILLERY- THE MET

MitreStreet, Abertillery, Blaenau Gwent, NP13 1AL

01495322 510 www.the-met.co.uk

DEC8 @ 7.30pm

CARMARTHEN- LYRIC THEATRE

KingStreet, Carmarthen, Carmarthenshire, SA31 1BD

0845226 3510 www.carmarthenshiretheatres.co.uk

DEC9 @ 7.30pm

MONMOUTH- BLAKE THEATRE

AlmshouseStreet, Monmouth, NP25 3XP

01600719 401 www.theblaketheatre.org

DEC10 @ 7.30pm (Includes post-show talk)

EASTBOURNE- UNDERGROUND THEATRE

ArtsCentre, East Sussex, Eastbourne, BN21 4TL

0845680 1926 www.undergroundtheatre.org.uk

DEC12 @ 2pm & 7.15pm

CANTERBURY- GULBENKIAN THEATRE

Universityof Kent, Canterbury, Kent, CT2 7NB

01227769 075 www.kent.ac.uk/gulbenkian

DEC13 @ 7.45pm

SCARBOROUGH- STEPHEN JOSEPH THEATRE

Westborough,Scarborough, YO11 1JW

01723370 541 www.sjt.uk.com

DEC14 @ 7.30pm

HEXHAM- QUEEN'S HALL ARTS CENTRE

BeaumontStreet, Hexham, Northumberland, NE46 3LS

01434652 477 www.queenshall.co.uk

DEC15 @ 7.30pm

RUNCORN- THE BRINDLEY

HighStreet, Runcorn, Cheshire, WA7 1BG

0151907 8360 www.thebrindley.org.uk

DEC16 @ 8pm

HEMELHEMPSTEAD - THE OLD TOWN HALL THEATRE

HighStreet, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, HP1 3AE

01442228 091 www.oldtownhall.co.uk

DEC20 @ 8pm

DEC21 @ 8pm

CHELMSFORD- CRAMPHORN THEATRE

FairfieldRoad, Chelmsford, Essex, CM1 1JG

01245606 505 www.chelmsford.gov.uk/theatres

DEC22 @ 7.30pm

LONDON– ARTSDEPOT

5Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, London, N12 0GA

0208369 5454 www.artsdepot.co.uk

DEC23 @ 2pm & 7.30pm

DEC24 @ 2pm

STAFFORD- GATEHOUSE THEATRE

EastgateStreet, Stafford, ST16 2LT

01785254 653 www.staffordgatehousetheatre.co.uk

DEC28 @ 7.30pm

BARNSLEY- THE CIVIC

HansonStreet, Barnsley, S70 2HZ

01226327 000 www.barnsleycivic.co.uk

DEC29 @ 7pm

BROMSGROVE– ARTRIX

SlideslowDrive, Bromsgrove, B60 1PQ

01527577 330 www.artrix.co.uk

Website:

Pleasego to www.jameshyland.co.uk/achristmascarolformore information on the production.

HYPNOBOBS 57 - Twice The Price!

2011-11-27T00:22:00.001-08:00

Due to various factors, this week Mr Jim Moon hands over the reins to a guest host, and so we have Mr Vincent Price presenting two tales illustrating The Price of Fear! In the first he co-stars with fellow horror legend Mr Peter Cushing, and in the second finds himself in a tale penned by Count Dracula's biographer Bram Stoker!

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It's the Stars Again...

2011-11-25T01:12:00.001-08:00

It's Friday and that can only mean that once again it's time for your staaaaaaaaaaars for the week! On esmall step for man, one giant leap for idiotkind!

Giant Steps Stars (mp3)

UMBRAGE - THE FIRST VAMPIRE

2011-11-24T01:28:00.001-08:00

Another day and another vampire flick! But this low budget production is one with a difference... The unintentional pun 'bloody strange' immediately spring to mind...

Find out what I made of UMBRAGE THE FIRST VAMPIRE at Geekplanet Online!

IT WAS 48 YEARS AGO TODAY...

2011-11-23T03:48:00.001-08:00

...that the Doctor invited Ian and Barbara to play!

Yes nearly half a century ago, on 23rd of November 1963, viewers of British television witnessed a pair of school teachers following one of their pupils home to a junkyard in Totters Lane where a mysterious policebox stood... That story was An Unearthly Child, the very first episode of Doctor Who, and the rest is, as they say, history!

And to celebrate I'm representing a series of articles detailing the many lives and faces of the Doctor...

DOCTOR WHO - The Regeneration Game (Round One)- The Many Faces of Doctor Who

DOCTOR WHO - The Regeneration Game (Round Two)- Of Clowns & Dandies

DOCTOR WHO - The Regeneration Game (Round Three)- Bohemian Cricket

DOCTOR WHO - The Regeneration Game (Round Four)- At Sixes and Sevens

COMING SOON...

“Does Paul McGanncount? Sod that! The real question is does Richard E Grant?”

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3 - WORLD EXCLUSIVE!

2011-11-22T07:36:00.001-08:00

Thanks to a dodgy fellow of my acquaintance and a USB stick, I've managed to get my hands on what appears to be a rough cut of a teaser for Tom Six's next magnum opus, The Human Centipede Part 3! And although there's no actual footage of the in-progress production, you can tell the shocking direction Six is taking his sick vision in next!

Unbelievable I know! Enjoy this quickly before the lawyers and the BBFC demand it's removed!

STUPID QUESTIONS DEPT. - Scifi Seasons on the Beeb in the '70s

2011-11-20T02:59:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the Stupid Questions Department! Deep in the Mad Labs of Mr Moon's mind, where tantalising fragments of memories bubble in test tubes, half baked factoids are heated over bunsen burners and the benches are all stained from lysergic chromatography!

In other words, I have a question for you all... But fear not! It's not (I hope) one of those insolvable conundrums that have plagued the minds of men for centuries like 'What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow' but something that some one with better and less booze soaked memory than mine may have the answer to!

Come back in Time with to me to the mid 1970s, a time when men were real men despite wearing eye-shadow and glitter, when women were real women as many lad watching Pan's People on Top of the Pops discovered, and where jobbing session musicians could earn a lucrative crust by dressing up as Wombles!

Anyhow back in those distant golden days where everything was made of Spangles and twelve inch flares, and all childhoods were enchanted by Oliver Postgate, the good old Auntie Beeb scheduled a season of classic scifi movies. They were shown early evening, mid week on BBC 1 and there was even a trailer advertising this selection of interplanetary classics.

Now to don my deerstalker hat for a moment, I suspect this may have been around the release of Star Wars (1976 or 77). However given the huge popularity of the genre in that decade, which saw a host of small screen scifi classics - Survivors, Blakes 7, The Changes, Doomwatch, Timeslip, The Tomorrow People to name but a few, and of course Doctor Who in it's heyday - it's entirely possibly this season of space flicks occurred well before George Lucas persuaded the world that 'droid' was a better word than 'robot'.

Needless to say this series of movies was an absolute delight to me and was where I saw many classics for the very first time. However my question is what movies were actually shown as part of this season? Now I am pretty much certain that they showed the George Pal version of The Time Machine (1960) (I'll never forget the nightmares inspired by the Morlocks or trying to persuade my Dad to let build a Time Machine in the garage) and When Worlds Collide (1951). And I'm fairly sure they showed Forbidden Planet (1956) too.

However I'm hazy on the rest. Other possible flicks they screened are This Island Earth (1955), Journey To The Center To The Earth (1959) and maybe even a TV première of Silent Running (1972). I'm fairly sure they only stuck to colour movies which rules out the likes of The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) and The Day The Earth Caught Fire (1961), and being prime-time family friendly BBC 1 they would have avoided anything potentially scary like Them! (1954), The Thing From Another World (1951) or the Hammer Quatermass adaptations.

So can any of you out there shed any light on this matter? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Surely some one has to remember! After all there's plenty of folk how fondly recall the late horror double bills from the Beeb in the same period and are even campaigning to bring them back! So surely, there must a listing for this scifi season somewhere! And surely, these screenings of classic science fiction can't just have enriched my childhood!

Right, I'll stop calling you 'Shirley' now...

But the reason I'm asking, other than to scratch a mental itch, is this. The other week the boys from The Black Dog were covering Forbidden Planet, and while watching this marvellous movie I was chit-chatting on Twitter about it. And I had the idea that it would be fun to revisit all the movies shown in this dimly remembered BBC1 season for an episode (or two) of HYPNOBOBS... So there's your motivation folks!

And if you have an answer, do get in touch via ouija board, carrier raven, telepathic transmission etc. Or just use the comment box below... Otherwise I'll just have to work my way through all the titles mentioned in this! Sing lips!

Go on sing along, you know you want to!

HYPNOBOBS 56 - The Blue Cross

2011-11-19T02:08:00.001-08:00

Once more we're back at the fireside of the Great Library of Dreams, but this time Mr Jim Moon has something a little different for you all... A classic mystery tale of crime and detection from the very wonderful GK Chesterton.

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HYPNOBOBS 55 - The Natural History of the Batman Part 5

2011-11-13T04:00:00.001-08:00

Mr Jim Moon continues his epic exploration of Bat-history! This time discovering what lay in store for the Batman in the latter half of the 1970s. Warning - may contain Bat-Mite!

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Now then, now then, it's the stars!

2011-11-11T00:53:00.001-08:00

It's that time of the week again! Yes, the Mystic Ones are back with your staaaaaaaaaars for the week!

Now then, now then, it"s the stars! (mp3)

(Incidentally you can hear the full trance-tastic version of the end tune here)

Stake Land (2011)

2011-11-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

Ah, another vampire flick eh? Do we really need more bloodsuckers on screen?

Find out in my review over on GeekPlanetOnline!

GREAT BRITISH GHOSTS

2011-11-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

Now as all my regular readers and listeners will know, I adore all things ghostly, whether in fact or in fiction. And while I was putting together my Ghostwatch special for Hypnobobs, as some background research I started channel hopping to check out the state of play of the sort of paranormal reality television pioneered by Most Haunted. However that aforementioned spook hunting show is currently off air, in between switching host channels it would appear, but I did stumble on a brand new series on Yesterday, a free to air history channel, which instantly won a place in my heart.

Entitled Great British Ghosts, this little programme does exactly what it says on the tin. In each half hour episode, we visit two different haunted locations somewhere in this green and pleasant land. However this isn't another exercise in televisual ghost hunting, completely free from all that running about in night vision and shrieking at shadows. Instead, with the always charming Micheala Strachan as our host and guide, we learn the history of the places, tour the locales, hear local experts recount the ghostly legends associated with it and round it off with with modern day sightings from the folk who dwell there and the indigenous paranormal experts.

And so we get to virtually visit a range of fascinating places from the comfort of our armchairs; naturally we have the expected selection of spectre-filled castles and stately homes, but also haunted pubs, coaching inns and villages. And there's also some rather unusual locations too, a recent episode featured Rochester House, a manor house built by a Freemason that was never actually finished or inhabited, and in another a formerly top secret nuclear shelter.

Now part of the show's charm is undoubtedly getting to have look around some fabulous places in the British Isles and learning a little of their histories along the way. But although you could say the locations themselves are the stars of the series, often they are complimented, and indeed often outshone, by some of the locals. Chatting with Michaela, the assorted historians, tour guides and experts frequently prove themselves to be excellent storytellers, spinning out the tales of the resident spooks and ghouls with great gusto. And rightly so, as this sceptred isle is, after all, as well known for its colourful local characters as it's wealth of historic buildings and monuments.

And it's this appealing cocktail of local history and storytelling that makes this show such a spooky treat for the long winter evenings. For unlike a lot of paranormal television, Great British Ghosts isn't trying to pass itself off as a serious investigation, and while we do hear the findings of local ghost hunters and often get some video footage or photographs to ponder, the show isn't really trying to tax your beliefs. How much you choose to believe is entirely up to you, and instead the show is simply celebrating Britain's spectral heritage, delighting in the pleasure of spinning ghost stories, whether they are folkloric accounts of headless horsemen and family curses or recent reports of weird goings-on.

Great British Ghosts is a winning combination of beautiful and fascinating locations, a taste of local colour, a soupçon of history and of course, plenty of spooks. This is very gentle television, perfect for the long dark evenings by the fire, and which I highly recommend to all lovers of all things spectral everywhere. However that said, the assorted accounts are bound to raise a delicious shivers or two as only a good ghost story can...

Great British Ghosts is showing on Friday nights at 9 PM on Yesterday (FREEVIEW 12, VIRGIN MEDIA 203, SKY 537)

Great British Ghosts home page

Yesterday channel home page

CAMP HELL (2011)

2011-11-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

A movie that has languished on studio shelves for a few years finally gets a release... But what is Camp Hell? Is it a slasher film? A demonic possession movie? A Christian horror flick maybe?

Find out over at GeekPlanetOnline, where I don my official horror correspondent hat, and unroll my sleeping bag for a stay at Camp Hell!

HYPNOBOBS 54 - The Whistling Room

2011-11-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

As autumn shades into winter, it's time to draw close by the fireside once more and for Mr Jim Moon to open up again the Casebook of Carnacki the Ghost Finder...

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Your Stars For the Week!

2011-11-04T01:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, the Mystic Ones are back with their usual drivel and inappropriate uses of childhood favourites...

And when the stars wake up... (mp3)

HYPNOBOBS 53 - Ghostwatch

2011-10-31T01:07:00.000-07:00

Just in time for Hallowe'en, Mr Jim Moon takes a look back at the BBC1 1992 TV special that terrified the nation! Revealing the origin, influences, impact and legacy of this classic of televisual terror created by Stephen Volk, that pitted Michael Parkinson, Sarah Greene, Mike Smith and Craig Charles against a most persistent and malignant spectre, the dread Mr Pipes...

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THE EXORCIST 40th Anniversary Edition

2011-10-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

One of the best selling horror novels of all-time is back in a new edition for its fortieth anniversary. However this is no mere reprint, as author William Peter Blatty has revised the text...

...Find out what I thought about this new revised version here!

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN - SECRET OF THE UNICORN

2011-10-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

Blistering barnacles! There be no spoilers here laddie!

During the 1990s, the phrase 'graphic novel' became all the rage, describing an exciting new development in the world of comics, namely collecting issues together into 'proper' books and gracing the shelves of respectable bookstores rather than backstreet shops with strange names like The Android's Dungeon. Comics had finally grown up, trumpeted the numerous newspaper and magazine articles which popularised this new term, who with typically shoddy reportage entirely missed the point that it was the stories and content of the likes of Alan Moore's Watchmen and Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns which had the comics world frothing at the mouth, not the fact that they were available in collected large format paperbacks in the high street.

For comics being collected into 'proper' books was, as any comics fan knows, not a new thing at all. 'Graphic novel' was merely an update on an older term 'graphic album', and for many European comics fans there first introduction into the four colour world were book collecting the adventures of two Continental titans of the medium, the hilarious exploits of Asterix the Gaul and the globe trotting investigations of young reporter Tintin!

Indeed back in my own school days, volumes featuring these two heroes were frequently fought over in the school library, with many and argument over who rightfully should have them next; I remember waiting for what seemed like an eternity to get my hands on Destination Moon and it's sequel Explorers on the Moon, which as they featured space travel had the highest caché among my peers. We thrilled to his adventures across the world, laughed at the bumbling of his supporting cast and avidly watched the cartoon series Hergé's Adventures of Tintin which was a regular staple of school holiday TV back then.

Of course as we grew older we discovered the exciting super-heroics of Marvel and DC, and the gritty violence of '70s UK comics like Action, Battle and 2000 AD, and Tintin was left behind. But as the boy reporter and his dog have always seen as a good deal more respectable than the likes of Batman and Judge Dredd, generations of European children first discover comics through finding his books in school libraries.

Of course in the US, where they have legions of home grown heroes and because during the '50s comics were seen as a cause of teenage delinquency, Tintin remains something of an unknown quantity. Which is why it has taken Hollywood so long to bring our bequiffed hero to the big screen at last. And it's telling that it took the clout of not one but two giants of cinema, the forces of Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson combined, to make this movie happen.

Now not so long ago having these two names heading the production would have guaranteed geek bliss before a single still had been released. However after the somewhat muted reaction to Jackson's King Kong remake and the complete travesty of a fourth Indy outing, it's fair to say there were more than a few doubts hanging over the project. Although Hergé himself had named Spielberg as his personal preference for a director to bring his creations to the silver screen, he was talking about the young fellow who had given the world Raiders of the Lost Ark, not the beardy buffoon who had removed the guns from ET and cursed us all with Crystal Skull.

So given Mr Spielberg's *ahem* spotty recent record, would we see Tintin similarly bastardised? Would the boy reporter still have his firearms? Would Captain Haddock still be rolling about drunk? But thankfully, there were other notable names onboard to handle the screenplay; Steven Moffat, show runner of Doctor Who and Sherlock, Edgar Wright, director of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim vs The World, and Joe Cornish, who recently gave us Attack The Block. And you'll be pleased to hear that this trio has managed to stop Spielberg welding any silly bloody aliens into the plot.

Now 'return to form' is a much abused phrase, often wheeled out with the minimum of credit. However in this case it is very well warranted, for The Adventures of Tintin is simply glorious cinema. Now with Spielberg, you always get a high level of production value, but over the years his films have been marred be either too much saccharine and sentiment or weighed down with 'hey I'm a serious film-maker' earnestness. However with a solid script from the afore mentioned three gentlemen, that draws heavily from several Tintin books, to keep the project true to the tone and feel of the original, we are spared either of poles of his directorial excesses. It's proof that that films from even the most gifted directors are as only as strong as their scripts.

And while there has been some inevitable carping in some quarters about the motion capture CG animation, I think this new medium has really come of age with this picture. The Adventures of Tintin looks gorgeous and the style which has a realistically rendered world populated by caricature figures mirrors perfectly the original comic art. And the strength of the animation is matched by fine performances from the cast; Andy Serkis is outstanding as the blustering drunken Haddock, Daniel Craig is evidently having a ball moustache twirling, and there's good comic relief from Pegg and Frost as Thompson and Thomson.

Quite simply, The Adventures of Tintin is a superb adventure for all the family. There's plenty of action, wonderful characters and a lot of laughs all intelligently tied together with an old fashioned detective story that spans the globe. In many ways, it's everything the fourth Indy movie should have been, and rightly so as Tintin is one of the forebears of Dr Jones. Indeed, Spielberg delivers one particular action sequence that trumps everything is the last three Indiana Jones outings.

The movie's biggest triumph however is that is captures the magic of Tintin himself. Not only does Jamie Bell bring the boy reporter to life wonderfully, but the film makes his long lasting appeal clear - essentially Tintin is young enough for children to identify with his, and grown up enough never to need bailing out by adult figures (the bane of many other young investigators like the Hardy Boys). Now I must confess, and I know I'm not alone in this, that when I was originally reading Tintin I always much preferred his supporting cast. However in this screen adventure the character really shines, and in Bell's capable hands, Tintin is warmly likeable and solidly heroic.

And furthermore I really want to see him in action again soon! Indeed I hope that this film has all the box office success it deserves, so that we might revisit his vivid and exciting world again soon. And in the meantime I'm off to revisit the original graphic albums...

HYPNOBOBS 52 - Diis Manibus Part II

2011-10-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

In the second part of this epic length podcast, Mr Jim Moon continues his true tale of terror...

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HYPNOBOBS 52 - Diis Manibus Part I

2011-10-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

As it's HYPNOBOB's first anniversary to celebrate this notable occasion, in the first of two special podcasts, Mr Jim Moon recounts a true tale of mystery and terror!

The second part will follow in a day or two. And please note that as this episode was designed as a single piece, there is no outro in this episode and there will be no intro in the next. So you may listen to the entire show as an uninterrupted whole.

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Paranormal Activity 3

2011-10-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

All spoilers have been exorcised from this review

Hallowe'en is upon us once more and, as is now becoming traditional, a new entry in the Paranormal Activity franchise has been unleashed in the theatres. However this time around, as you may well have inferred from the poster and trailer, we aren't picking up the story where the second movie left it, but instead heading into prequel territory.

So then, to swiftly mark out the direction from which I approached this third installment, I'll recap my position on the first two. The original Paranormal Activity I really enjoyed, a fine addition to both the haunted house and found footage genres, with bags of spookiness and as I explored in-depth in my review some interesting character stuff going on under the hood. Although that said, I do believe it's a better film with the original ending - but of course had director Oren Peli stuck with the finale that the movie originally screened with we wouldn't have had the sequels.

Now I was quite sceptical, if not downright opposed to the very idea of a sequel. The first film looked very like a case of catching lightning in a bottle and I wasn't keen on another Blair Witch 2 debacle. However Paranormal Activity 2 actually turned out ok, and as I remarked in my audio review for Hypnobobs, if we were to have sequels to a movie that I'd have preferred to stand alone, I was glad they had tried to keep up the quality. The sequel didn't exactly break new ground, it tweaked the formula just enough to be interesting and still built up a creepy atmosphere and delivered to decent scares. And while it didn't have the character depth of the first, it did elegantly expand the mythology of the series and I liked the way it craftily continued the story as both prequel and sequel.

And I am pleased to report that Paranormal Activity 3 maintains the high standards of the series. Essentially at this stage of the game, you're either on-board with these home movie hauntings or you're not. Yes, it's pretty much more of the same: a slow build as weird happening gradually engulf a well observed and naturalistic family, with plenty of creeping dread and sudden shocks, and like the second a carefully considered expansion of the over arching story line. So basically if you enjoyed the first two, you'll have a ball with this one.

However although there is a strong family resemblance, there are little differences that mark it out from its siblings. To begin with it should be noted that I could detect the directorial fingerprints of Ariel Shulman and Henry Joost, the makers of the possible documentary or possible hoax movie Catfish (and hear Hypnobobs 39 for a review of this intriguing flick). Now it's not that the style is radically different, just that the protagonists were portrayed with a little more warmth than the previous entries. For example, many viewers had problems with both Micah in the first and Dan in the second with the adjectives 'asshole' and 'douchebag' being frequently bandied about. However, refreshingly your male lead in this movie, Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) comes across a very likeable fellow.

Also noticeable is a higher quotient of both jump scares and special effects work. However neither of these come at the expense of building up tension and dread and, particularly in the case of the latter, tip the franchise over in the kind of supernatural grandstanding more at home in the Poltergeist movies. And while there may be more 'boo!' moments, Joost and Shulman also deliver some very memorable scenes of subtle eeriness.

However it is perhaps the closest the franchise has come to the more expected Hollywood horror flick. But in fairness, depending on your preferred mode of cinematic fear, this slightly different weighting may be a positive or negative. Undoubtedly some will say this makes it slightly weaker than the previous two films, but equally others will find it the most terrifying yet. However overall I;'d stress the the quality is still there and it's a matter of what style of terror floats your fear boat.

And actually this is something that I find makes the Paranormal Activity franchise very interesting. Let's be honest, normally by the time a horror series reaches its third instalment, we are all normally agreed that the initial movie is the best and anything after is going to be measured on exactly how inferior it is. However many preferred Paranormal Activity 2 over the first and I can see that the same is going to play out again with this third episode - indeed on leaving the cinema I overheard several fellow patrons expressing the opinion that this had been the scariest of the three. So I am quite looking forward to years of interesting fan debates on which is the best.

Now when I heard that they were planning a third entry, I was of the opinion that they should tie things up neatly and make it a (hopefully) solid trilogy. Now not giving away any spoilers, I doubt many of you will be surprised that this is not the case; after all Peli's home video spookery has now supplanted Jigsaw's antics as the annual Hallowe'en horror franchise release.

However what might surprise you, particularly those who have been following my previous reviews of this movie series, is that I'm more than happy for them to serve up a part 4 next year. And there are several good reasons for this. Firstly there's plenty of space left in the storyline, for although there are some answers , it raises more questions. And although this is a prequel it doesn't deliver the story you are expecting...

Secondly this is the second sequel to a high standard that hasn't sold out the principles of the first and descended in a mess of cynical CGI and gore - Paranormal Activity is turning out to be the most consistent horror franchise yet.

But finally and perhaps most importantly, I just had alot of fun watching this; it creeped me out at several points, made me jump at several others and kept me intrigued throughout. I don't know how far Peli can spin this saga but but looking at how the three movies fit together, I suspect there may be an eventual endgame planned. And on the strength of this third outing, I'll more than happy to see what the next instalment brings...

HYPNOBOBS 51 - The House of the Nightmare & Other Eerie Tales

2011-10-16T07:08:00.000-07:00

Continuing our series of readings for Hallowe'en, from the Great Library of Dreams Mr Jim Moon presents not one, not two, but three of his favourite tales of terror and along the way at long last explains how he came to be so obsessed with weird fiction.

The stories presented are The Waxwork by AM Burrage, The House of the Nightmare by Edward Lucas White and There Was A Man Dwelt By A Churchyard by MR James...

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IN SEARCH OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS Part IV - The Importance of Being Eldritch

2011-10-16T06:07:00.000-07:00

Whenever I receive visitors, their first reaction is almost invariably "You have alot of books don't you!". And indeed I do - I am only half joking when in my introductions for HYPNOBOBS, I refer to my abode as the Great Library of Dreams. Furthermore I am also quite sure that I need not describe to all my fellow bibliophiles that peculiar mix of surprise, awe and, most inexplicably to me at least, horror that plays across their faces. For like many book lovers, I forget that a house crammed with over-stuffed shelves of diverse tomes is as alien to many folk as a home without a single bookcase is to me.

Of course in my case there's an additional round of funny looks when they see the titles of the books that are surrounding them in teetering piles actually are... Hoards of anthologies of weird tales, endless horror/scifi/fantasy novels, murder most foul in both fact and fiction, weighty tomes on film history, psychology, philosophy and quantum mechanics textbooks, compendia of ancient myth and legend, and volumes of poetry.

Now all of the above appear to be a rather shocking choice of reading material to many people, especially as there's not a single ghost-written large print biography of some moron who has only ever chased a ball about all his life, or a collection of glossy photos illustrating recipes you'll never ever cook to be found among them to leaven the mix; in short, nothing a 'normal' person should be reading.

However, as disturbing as many find the fact that I am still reading books they associate with school days i.e. Shakespeare and academic text books, on average it's the books with charming titles like The Doll Who Ate His Mother that raise the most eyebrows. "Ah, so you like all that horror stuff..." they say. And you can just tell that they are often pondering whether it will be rude to ask "So why do you read that crap?"

Yes, it's sad to say but horror fiction is perhaps the least respected genre in all literature, often considered to be just one step away from pornography. And while other sorts of book, such as chick lit, the boy's own adventure stylings of Clive Cussler and his ilk, or anything by Dan Brown, equally suffer under the burden of critical and/or popular disdain, at least if you;re seen reading them people won't assume that you are a budding psychopath who attends autopsies in your spare time. Even it's kindred genres of scifi and fantasy have better reputations; the former may be nerdy but at least it's scientific, and while the latter may be escapist nonsense about elves buggering about in la-la lands with unpronounceable names that would score well in Scrabble, at least it's not wallowing in sadism.

However this common perception of horror literature is most unfair. For although there have been legions of trashy paperback originals that indeed do aspire to read like all the most gruesome sections of a coroner's notes, these are not the classics that beloved in the field or indeed representative of the wide range of styles and subjects the horror tale has tackled.

Arguably horror is the most venerable of all genres in fiction. Indeed the very first work in English literature Beowulf, is an Anglo-Saxon epic detailing it's eponymous heroes battles with the night terrors that are Grendel and his even more monstrous mother. And undoubtedly the spooky tale told by the fireside stretches further back into the misty begins of human culture, right back to the most primitive times when the shaman woven tales of the gods and monsters as the shadows flickered on the ochre-encrusted cave walls.

And since the bloody horrors at the great hall of Heorot, the horror story as attracted an impressive roster of literary talents. Throughout history, people have always enjoyed an eerie tale and therefore it should be no surprise that so many of the great masters of literature have penned an uncanny story or summoned up a ghost or two in their pages. Indeed Shakespeare is riddled with the supernatural; aside from the ghosts in Hamlet and Macbeth, his plays throng with reference to the invisible world and occult signs and portents. And the spectres resides at the heart of what in these secular times is increasingly the definitive story of Yuletide, Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Furthermore even great figures from history outside literature and art, people as as diverse as Churchill and John Lennon, have add the the canon of weird tales.

Now this long standing appeal of horror is perhaps a subject for another day, and indeed, another article, but my focus today is on the benefits of weird literature. For what my questioning guests fail to realise is that if it weren't for my love of horror tales, I would have never garnered the academic qualifications I now possess or now read so voraciously and widely.

In this week's HYPNOBOBS - #51 The House of The Nightmare - I recount how I first became drawn to the genre - long story story short - I was terrified of ghosts and turned my terror of the dark into a love of it by reading ghost stories. So then at a young age, I was scouring the library and bookshops for collections of the tales of the uncanny. And at that time, the late '70s and early '80s, the shelves were thronging with not just single anthologies of weird fiction, but whole series of volumes devoted to the genre.

And through devouring the Armada Ghost and Monster books, the Fontana Books of Great Stories and the numerous collections put together by the legendary editor Peter Haining, I first encountered the works of genre greats such as MR James, Ray Bradbury, Edgar Allan Poe, Richard Matheson, and HP Lovecraft - all of whom became contestants for the title of Greatest Author Ever in my fevered monster-haunted young brain. And any title offering a tale by one of these gentleman was a tome to be procured post haste and, as Lovecraft so memorably put it in his sonnet Pursuit, "I could guess what nighted worlds of ill lurked in that volume I had coveted"...

But furthermore it was in the pages of such collections that I also first was introduced to the works of such giants of classic literature such as Dickens, Chekhov, Defoe, Kipling, Dylan Thomas, Aldous Huxley, EM Forester, HG Wells and Guy De Mauspassant, to name but a few. And having enjoyed their contributions to weird fiction, I began exploring what else they had wrote.

And so then when English Literature classes turned from worthy approved children's titles to the annals of great literature, I had no problem tackling, for example, the heavy Victorian prose of the likes of Thomas Hardy, for I was by then already well versed in dense vocabularies and archaic modes of writing. And having read all the great gothic novels such as Dracula, Frankenstein, The Phantom of the Opera and Wuthering Heights I had no fear of long books with small type.

Now it is a most unfortunate state of affairs that the way that our education systems teach literature seems to have in the majority of cases, the disastrous effect of actually turning people off reading as a pleasurable activity rather than engendering a life-long love of books. And indeed, as sad as it is, it is more thanks to my love of weird tales that I am the well-read and (hopefully) intelligent man I am today than the efforts of my teachers, who ironically didn't approve of the horror volumes I was reading back then. However it is thanks to reading John Wyndham and Mr James at the age of ten that I have an appreciation of the works of Wyndham Lewis and Henry and William James.

Of all the genres of literature, few other categories of fiction can boast so many heavy-weight names in its ranks. And certainly horror opens the most doors, and as we have seen, not just cobwebbed swathed portal to nitrous vault either. But the most important portal it may open is the one marked 'Imagination', and to enjoy any story it must open this particular door.

A tale or novel may be as worthy as they come, but if they fail to engage the imaginative faculties of their readers, to paint pictures on the mind's eye and populate the mind with its characters, then there will be no pleasure in turning the pages. You may be as clever as you wish but if your book is dull, then not only will you ensure the reader will never finish it but possibly drift away from reading all together...

The imagination is a tremendously important force and it is through it's exercise that we have progressed as far as we have as species. And so to harness terror and dread that in themselves are some of the most harmful emotions to both our personal well-being and society, and to transform them into mighty engines of imaginative pleasure is one of the great virtues of literature. As Robert Aickman so wisely wrote in his introduction to the Fontana Book Of Great Ghost Stories -

Ghost stories are exercises of the imagination. Their importance lies partly in the fact that in all of us the imagination needs to be exercised, and today gets desperately little scope, so that society is in danger of madness in consequence...

Indeed as the philosopher Pascal famously observed the sum of evil in the world could be greatly reduced if men could only to sit quietly in their rooms. And frequent visits to the land of fiction is the ideal way to achieve this...

Other articles in this series can be found here -

In Search of Sleepless Nights Part I - The Varieties of Horror
In Search of Sleepless Nights Part II - The Art of Watching Horror
In Search of Sleepless Nights Part III - The Films That Frightened Me

The Last Man on Earth

2011-10-12T04:41:00.000-07:00

PODCAST EXTRA!

This week the boys at the Black Dog Podcast are discussing The Last Man on Earth (1964) - the first screen adaptation of Richard Matheson's classic novel I Am Legend, and starring the legendary Vincent Price. And if that wasn't enough our hosts Lee and Darren are joined by Mr Jim Moon to discuss this seminal movie and, erm... Transformer testicles....

WARNING! Contains many tangents, harsh language and much hilarity!

Find it here!
The Black Dog #88

Will Smith?... Chuck Heston?.. Bollocks to 'em!

HYPNOBOBS 50 - The Midnight Express To The Red Lodge

2011-10-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

With Hallowe'en drawing ever nearer and strange fogs haunting the streets, in the Great Library of Dreams Mr Jim Moon revisits two sources of sleepless nights - The Red Lodge by HR Wakefield and Midnight Express by Alfred Noyes...

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Simply the Stars...

2011-10-07T04:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's Friday... And that can only mean it's time for your staaaaaaaaaaaars for the week!

Simply the Stars... (mp3)

DOCTOR WHO 6.13 - The Wedding of River Song Spoiler Zone (or Jim'll Fix it)

2011-10-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

Shh! Spoilers sweetie!

My giddy aunt! There's been alot of toys chucked from prams over this one hasn't there! So before we get going - and note I speak as a life-long fan, one of whom's earliest memories is seeing the Sea Devils rise from the waves - I'll say this:

Calm down dear! It's only Doctor Who!

And to use Mr Danny Davies' wonderful phrase, a good blast from the Perspective Cannon is in order here! Yes, it's time to practise that ancient and noble, yet seemingly dying out, art of getting a frakking grip!

Now then in the interests of full disclosure, let's rewind to last Saturday night. The credits have just begun to roll and as per usual with a Moffat scripted episode, I wonder how the name of Azal am I going to review that with out letting slip the dogs of spoiler. However this time, I have an additional problem because I'm somewhat conflicted on the now infamous resolution, namely that the figure we saw die on the shores of Lake Silencio was not actually the Doctor, but our favourite Time Lord driving a Teselecta.

You see, I'm feeling disappointed as I was expecting the big reveal to be something I hadn't considered, and so there's an aura of 'oh, what that it?' floating in the air. However I am of certain of two things - firstly that overall I rather enjoyed this episode but secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I really like the position Moffat has left the character pointed in.

While I'm trying to sort out and generally weigh up this mix of different emotions, I notice that the internet is already beginning to flame, with with all manner of folks screaming 'Cheat!' and some even transforming into the Comic Book Guy, and without a shred of irony, shrieking 'Worst. Finale. Evah!'. And this crowd saying 'Boo! Teselecta! Rewind!' also annoys me, and not just for reminding me of Craig Bloody David but for for reasons we'll get to later.

Anyhow, I pen my spoiler-free review basically saying 'fun episode, divisive end I'm not sure about yet' and leave it at that. Then I make another large pot of Earl Grey and sit down to start pondering this business properly...

Mr Jim's reasoning goes like this...

Sip 1 - As soon as they mentioned the Teselecta in the Previously montage, the thought occurred that this was probably how the Doctor was going to cheat to death.

Sip 2 - Though as the episode progressed and built towards the end, I was still wondering whether Moffat was going to the Doctor actually die... Now obviously he has to survive somehow as we know he's coming back for the Christmas special. But I had concocted a dubious theory - I'd read somewhere Moffat had said that this year's Yuletide special would be riffing on another classic Christmas story and as he'd done a Christmas Carol last year, the next obvious choice would be It's A Wonderful Life. And this tale concerns a fellow being taken out of time at the point of his death, I wondered whether Moffat would have something similar in store for the Doctor i.e. the Doctor would die but in the Christmas special a Clarence analogue would restore him to life...

Sip 3 - I quite liked that idea... that would have been brilliant! Stupid Teselecta!

Sip 4 - But it's not a cheat is it? Cheating would be altering how that death scene played out or making it not happen - but it does play out how we first saw it. Admittedly with a Time Crisis occurring within a split second we hadn't seen the first time, but it IS the same - the difference is that now we know that the event has effectively been mislabelled - the Doctor only appeared to die or rather a decoy Doctor died. The fixed point happened, and the real Doctor was actually present too, but it's only historical archives that have wrongly recorded that he didn't survive.

Dunks biscuit - And of course that was the point - really like the way now the Doctor is set up to have small adventures - no more Lonely God hyperbole and everybody knowing who he is. Yes, back to being a mysterious man in a box. Me likee.

Sip 5 - And he did set it up too! It's perfectly in line with Chekhov's Gun isn't it - he introduced it five episodes ago and 'fired' it in the final act. Plus there was the business with the Gangers as a red herring. Yes, I did rule out the Teselecta as the solution originally (see here) as it wasn't exactly brilliant at mimicking natural behaviour... But I had considered what if a Doctor was driving it... And honestly as for all this blubbing about beginning of a regeneration means it can't have been the Teselecta, Moffat did deliberately shown us this android turning into a Nazi on a motorbike, so obviously some orange fireworks aren't stretching it's abilities very much at all. Especially with the Doctor at the wheel!

Sip 6 - So not a cheat - and it's not a rewind or reset either. During the Time Crisis, there's plenty of dialogue to confirm that all the events of this season have happened - the Silence's taunt to Rory was very cheeky but most explicitly the scene with Amy and Madame Korvarian... And how she deals with Madame, blimey that was COLD! Still in the words of the legendary Adham Fisher 'the bitch had it coming!' Damn, she looked hot firing that machine gun... Do I have time for... No, moving swiftly on...

Dunks biscuit again - How does Amy not remember the Time Crisis before this episode though? Hmm... No, got it! It's a case of Who's Time-line Is It Anyway. And the defining time-line is the Doctor's naturally. At the start of the season, Amy meets Future Doctor and see his Teselecta gambit play out. What I'm calling the Time Crisis happens, but it's resolved and every one's none the wise. Her Doctor appears and the season unfolds, so then when he enters the Time Crisis the Amy he meets in that alternate world has shared all those adventures. And so Amy can only remember the Time Crisis after it occurred, which for her happens after at some point after The God Complex. More simply put - the Doctor's time-line sets the continuity for every one else as he's the focus of the Time Crisis!

None of that is probably very important... I should get out more... Where was I?

In the kingdom of Inferno, the one eyed Brig is king!

Sip 7 - Oh yes! Speaking of eye drives, very nice tribute to dear of Nick Courtney. I mean, aside from the lovely scene with the Doctor discovering the Brig has passed away, the whole business with an alternate world and everyone wearing eye patches was a very subtle tip of the hat to the old fella. He used to love telling that tale about the filming of Inferno, in which he played an evil version of the Brig who sported an eye patch and one day on set every one else donned on to surprise him...

Sip 8 - Yes, there was alot to enjoy in this one - live chess, Churchill, Area 52 - but it was not quite as triumphant a finale as usual. This prophecy about the fall and the fields of Trentzalore is intriguing. Now looking at the series timeline, effectively we've got one more series before hitting the 50th anniversary in 2013. So is this the middle section in a Silence trilogy to take us up to the big event? Yes, I think it could be - certainly would fit the tone of this finale... a moody one like the end of Empire Strikes Back!

Dunks biscuit again - Bloody hell! Just realised something - that shot from the 'Coming Soon' bit at the end of A Good Man Goes To War - you know the skeletal hand holding a dying sonic? Obviously that was NEVER any thing to do with the events at Lake Silencio... Is that yet to come?

Sip 9 - But what about the answer to the oldest question in the universe apparently being 'Doctor who?' Can't decide whether that's daft or just rubbish! Surely the oldest question would be something like 'Is there a God?' or 'Why are we here?'... But hold up matey! It's only the oldest question according to the beliefs of the Silence! And they're blatantly Doctor-obsessed nutters! So that does work... and on several meta-levels! You cheeky git Moffat!

Sip 10 - Still a bit disappointed by the Teselecta though. I'd thought of that one! It should have been something I didn't anticipate dammit!

Sip 11 - But I bet alot of other folks didn't see it coming, and most heavily I guess in the general audience... You know those millions poor sods outside the hallowed halls of nerdom, who are either wheeled out as victims of cruel scriptwriters and their complex plots, or the despised element that's making the show is now being crap because it's writing down for them.

Sip 12 - Hang on! In that case, shouldn't I be patting myself on the back for being a clever dick rather than whinging? Me guessing and the set of expectations I cultivated aren't exactly Moffat's fault are they?

Drops biscuit in tea! - Thank Rassilon I didn't charge onto the net and start shrieking like a twat!

Sip 13 - We're a right pack of gits sometimes aren't we? We can't just say 'I didn't like that one' and move on, we have to make out it's an apocalypse event. And in doing so we're often missing important points. Just because we may feel let down that we guessed, we're too quick to accuse Moffat terrible writing, and yet screaming 'cheat!' and 'rewind!' shows us to be guilty of the same sloppy thinking we're claiming he's guilty of. In the case of this episode, the plot mechanics of the Doctor's survival aren't actually the most important thing. The fact is we've been mass debating his apparent death for so long, nitpicking over the scifi bullshit - and I stress I'm guilty of this too - we've forgotten to pay attention to the proper content of the story.

And that's partly why genre work isn't taken more seriously, why there's a split between art and pop culture. Because we're always claiming our favourite scifi deserves to be taken seriously, but when people from the other side of fence pay us a visit they find us squabbling over the specs of spaceships and what abilities androids have built in rather than discussing the themes and character development...

In this season, the real story has been the Doctor coming to terms with the consequences of his actions, of what he has actually become through blithely flying through time and space and helping out as he sees fit. And it has ended with the Doctor deciding to let the cosmos think he has gone and be far more circumspect in what he does...

And I rather suspect that future Who fans, who will come to this season without the blinkers of expectations over the Doctor's death, will judge this set of stories on the above basis. And they'll find all this hullabaloo rather foolish and somewhat embarrassing, in much the same way we look back at the tantrums, or should that be fantrums over The Three Doctors which was absolutely despised for the heinous crime of making the Time Lords look a bit doddery.

Last sip - One of the great delusions of being in a fan is thinking we know better. However what we often forget is that Doctor Who isn't our show, it a god-damn British institution. And furthermore it's probably the most difficult program on television to write these days. Now there's no brief for the series at the BBC, but in the ruins of the Death Zone on Gallifrey - and yes, yes, I know it's not there any more but don't go missing the point again - there is an ancient prophecy carved into the primordial rock. And it reads thus...

For those who would chronicle the adventures

Of the One they called the Doctor,

Beware the legions of the Howling Halls,

For if it is too simple they shalt carp,

If it be too complex they will bleat,

If you recount tales in isolation

You will be accused of pandering to fools,

Yet if thou constructs a serial

They will complain said fools cannot follow it!

Should thou be witty in your tellings

Bile and venom shall follow,

Be thou serious, and kickings will descend,

Show a heart and thy name shall be soap,

And if it be terrifying, they shall bitch

'Won't some one think of the children!'

Yes, as Our Lord truly said "There's no pleasing some people!" (Brian 6 v2). And although I am undoubtedly an obsessive Who, there are still enough corners in my brain not stuffed with Daleks and wooly scarves to realise that I really wouldn't relish being in charge of the show and having to somehow balance these multifarious polarities and try to please millions of people. And obviously you can't please all of the people all of the time and sometimes episodes do falter.

But more importantly, far too often we forget the fact that both Russell T Davies and Steven Moffat have managed to pull off this Herculean feat on many many occasions. And as we always claim the Doctor is a great role model, we therefore should act with a little more grace when we perceive they do drop the ball...

Right, I'm putting the kettle again on, anyone fancy a cup? I've got a whole season to rewatch and some Jammie Dodgers...

HYPNOBOBS 49 - Let Loose

2011-10-02T05:09:00.001-07:00

From the fireside of the Great Library of Dreams, Mr Jim Moon brings you a quasi-vampiric Victorian weird tale, 'Let Loose' by Mary Cholmondeley...

Direct download - HYPNOBOBS 49 - Let Loose

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HYPNOBOBS on iTunes

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DOCTORWHO 6.13 - The Wedding of River Song

2011-10-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

So here we are at last! Not since Bad Wolf has a story arc generated so much interest, and considering how Mr Moffat set this plot running with a bang in The Impossible Astronaut with the Doctor's apparent death at Lake Silencio, The Wedding of River Song is probably the most hotly awaited, speculated and debated finale so far, eclipsing even The Parting of the Ways in Series 1.

The Radio Times preview article even managed to make this episode seem all the more tantalizing with the following quote -

"Loose ends are tied up and, more importantly, the series and its heroes are repositioned in line with Moffat’s vision. Sorry to be so cryptic."

As indeed am I! Now as this is was a Moffat scripted episode, I was fully expecting it to open with an almighty swerve. And indeed it does! And that probably the most plot detail you're going to get from me!

So then, yes there are answers, and yes there some old familiar faces making guest appearances as you'd expect in a series finale. And yes, the matter of the Doctor's death is dealt with.

Now for the most part this episode is a twisty, turny road to resolving THAT final question and ultimately how well you like the finale is going to depend on how well the last five minutes sit with you. And be warned, a quick look at my Twitter stream is showing extremely divided reactions to this one.

Now the thing is when you set up a massive dilemma like this, whatever solution you eventually present will leave a certain proportion people dissatisfied. Often it's a case of damned if you do and damned if don't - if you plan the seeds for the big answer and people can guess it, they'll be disappointed and cry 'cop out!', but if you pluck something new and mental out of the ether, everyone also will scream 'cop out'!

But even if your solution can avoid both the above reactions, it still might fall somewhat flat - falling prey to that old Buddhist concept that dictates that often the journey is more exciting than the destination. And I think in the case of The Wedding of River Song, the afore-mentioned high levels of expectation coupled Moffat's reputation of being an extremely clever time-wimey writer are probably going to work against it for many viewers.

And personally, I will say I have mixed feelings on the resolution.

Now on one hand, we all know that the Doctor isn't going to REALLY die. Come on, we've always known that. And the method by which he gets out of this terminal fix isn't just pulled out of thin air. It's not an RTD deus ex machina - which instantly ranks it over some other previous season finales I could mention - and to quote another dying Doctor "the moment has been prepared for..."

But on the other hand, to paraphrase Obi Wan Kenobi, this was not quite the resolution I was looking for...

However I would stress I rather enjoyed the bulk of this episode's ride, and it's only the resolution I'm not sure about. And more on that in the forthcoming Spoiler Zone review after I've had more time to ponder all the ins and outs. (Time-wimey note for future readers - remember I am writing these spoiler-free reviews mere minutes after the credits roll!)

Ultimately though, you're going to have to judge this one for yourselves folks! Some of you will love it, some of you will hate it and others, like myself, will be somewhere in between...

DOCTOR WHO 6.12 Closing Time Spoiler Zone

2011-10-01T02:23:00.000-07:00

Shh! Spoilers sweetie!

Well there's not too much to add to the spoiler-free review, however there are a couple of items worthy of comment!

Firstly, and perhaps most importantly for old school Who fans, was the return of the Cybermats! Now for those of you who don't know, these little cyber-infiltration units first appeared back in the Second Doctor era, making their début in the classic adventure Tomb of the Cybermen.

Cybermat Mark I

And despite looking insanely goofy with their googly eyes and oh-so-1960s antennae, the little critters proved such a hit that they quickly made a second appearance in The Wheel In Space. However despite an upgraded design (most notably the eyes were made, well, a little less googly), this was the last time we were to see them for quite some time, although apparently they were originally pencilled in to appear in The Invasion too.

Cybermat Mark II

In fairness, however this wasn't due to the Cybermats being an unpopular creation, but due to the fact that the Third Doctor never tangled with the Cybermen (although one of the silver giants did appear in a cameo appearance as a denizen of the Miniscope in Carnival of Monsters and this Doctor did eventually battle them in the 1980s reunion story The Five Doctors).

Cyber-appearances were thin on the ground too during the Fourth Doctor's reign. However Tom Baker did encounter them once in his first season in Revenge of the Cybermen and the Cybermats were back too, albeit with a radical redesign...

Cybermat Mark III

...Yes, I know, they do now look like some species of hideously prehensile martial aid! I'm not sure I should mention that their prime function in this story is spreading diseases... Anyhow, moving swiftly on! The Cybermen would return to plague to the Fifth, Sixth and Seventh Doctors, but sadly they no longer brought their pets with.

However the Cybermats would make reappearances in various Doctor Who audio dramas, novels and comics - evidently the concept of the Cybermen having these quasi-animals, and perhaps those googly eyes, hold a deep appeal. So then, it was really only a matter of time before they made a reappearance in the new series - they'd been mentioned in The Almost People and played a part in the adventure game Blood of the Cybermen, so the stage was set to bring to a new audience.

Cybermat Mark IV

The new design is a nice synthesis of the previous versions, but with a rather pleasing though somewhat disturbing twist - a set of very organic and nasty looking teeth! Not only did the reveal of these biological components provide a decent shock for Cybermat lovers old and new but also was a rather well thought-out addition, as the Cyber-race are flesh and steel cyborgs after all.

And I think it safe to say these little beasts have proved to be a big hit, and not only with old fans who are delighted to see them back in a cool new form, for it looks like a toy Cybermat will now be top of many children's Christmas lists this year *.

So then, moving on from silver rats, the other issue for this Spoiler Zone is the possible niggle I mentioned in the previous review, which I can now reveal concerns the final confrontation with the Cybermen. Now the fact that the silver giants were defeated by an emotional overload has had alot of folk rolling their eyes and muttering about a sentiment over sense RTD style ending.

However interestingly, I've noticed that this finale seems to play out better with viewers who have children, and this is a key point here. For while it is something of a scifi cliché that the cold hostile machines are defeated by a surge of human emotions, the strength of the parent-child bond is a far more valid source of feeling than say, the Tenth Doctor's affection for Rose. Firstly there's a subtle but rather nice all the same thematic parallel woven into the plot - basically it's human reproduction versus Cyber reproduction.

And secondly this pay-off is set up carefully in the story, rather than just chucked in for some sentimental fireworks - for example the climax of The Satan Pit and the Doctor's out of the blue "I believe in her!" routine. Yes, it's still sentimental but it's alot more profound than the Doctor and Rose sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G or his Tinkerbell return from Gollum in The Last of The Time Lords.

Thirdly, it's not like the Cybermen haven't been defeated like this before.Essentially Craig overloading their emotional circuits is a callback to the old Cyber-classic The Invasion, where Tobias Vaughan's cerebratron mentor device does exactly the same thing. And certainly it's far better than the late period original series Cybermen who were immune to most weapons but promptly fell over when encountering a small amount of gold!

But all that said, I do have a quibble with it. And it's simple that this final confrontation in the Cyber-ship just feels slightly too rushed. As I've outlined above the defeat by emotional overload is played for and won in the plotting, however I think the reason it doesn't work for some people is the fact that it plays out so quickly and hence can come across as an RTD magic trick deus ex machina.

Now I've said it before, and no doubt will say it again, but I really do think that Doctor Who needs it's running time extended to a full hour. And those extra ten minutes, would give the stories that bit of extra breathing space to retain all those little moments that can help to build dramatic weight. Now in the case of Closing Time, I don't necessarily think the episode needs another ten minutes, but I got the distinct impression that the Cyber-climax was hurried to make room for the coda which sets up the big season finale.

And speaking of which, these closing scenes certainly seemed to smooth over any feathers ruffled by the Cybermen's demise. So it is River is the Astronaut! And what;s this in the Next Week preview - Pterodacyls! Pyramids! Daleks!

I suspect the next spoiler-free review is going to be a bugger to write...

* And probably a great many folk in their middle years too :)

HYPNOBOBS - An Announcement!

2011-09-30T04:35:00.000-07:00

Just a micro-cast to remind any folks still listening from the old Podomatic feed that it's time to resubscribe!

But for everyone else, there's some chit chat about what's coming up on the show and some bonus comedy nonsense that you might not have heard before...

Direct download - HYPNOBOBS - An Announcement!

HYPNOBOBS FEED (RSS)

HYPNOBOBS on iTunes

Or visit us in our shiny new home at GeekPlanetOnline

The Stars (with Headhunter)

2011-09-30T01:34:00.000-07:00

The Mystics Ones reveal your stars for the next seven days... This week in two parts and featuring a special guest beamed in from the late '60s!

The Stars (with Headhunter) Part 1 (mp3)

The Stars (with Headhunter) Part 2 (mp3)

HYPNOBOBS 48 - The Natural History of the Batman Part 4

2011-09-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

At last it's back to Bat-history, as Mr Jim Moon explores Batman in the late '60s and early '70s! In this episode we discuss the aftermath of Batmania and see where comics legends Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams took the Dark Knight Detective!

Direct download HYPNOBOBS 48

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HYPNOBOBS on iTunes

Or visit us in our shiny new home at GeekPlanetOnline

DOCTOR WHO 6.12 - Closing Time

2011-09-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Scanners indicate an absence of spoilers!

So then, the end draws near! And as you'll probably know that this episode see the Doctor catching up with both an old friend, in the shape of Craig from last year's The Lodger and some old enemies, the Cybermen.

Now then, as we remarked last year, James Corden who plays Craig, is one of those members of the comedy fraternity that polarize opinion - people either want to cuddle him or hunt him down for his blubber. However as in The Lodger, Corden is on his best behaviour, putting in a restrained performance rather than doing that excitable shrieking that makes me want do him a severe physical discourtesy. Also back this episode is Daisy Haggard as Craig other half, Sophie, who again is charming loveliness walking on two very long legs. And completing the trilogy of returns, Gareth Roberts was back on script duties too.

And once again, he's delivered a rather lovely little story. Like The Lodger, it's an episode filled with the right kind of witty humour and bags of heart, however Mr Roberts has upped his game again. Yes, we have the delightful double act antics between Smith and Corden, and once again Roberts shows he has a natural gift for writing Eleventh Doctor patter, however also this episode is shot through much darker shadows than The Lodger.

On one hand, we have some very sinister Cyber-antics, including a plot element that will delight the old school fans. And as the tale's threat, the Cybermen are rather well deployed - for although they are second only to the Daleks as recurring villains, they've not always the menace they could be. Let's face it, in the past Cyber master-plans have been known to be a bit, well, overly complicated... Often to the point of stupidity. For example, the Cyberking in The Next Doctor might have looked cool but was it really the best use of their resources? And some forty years on, no one yet has been able to adequately explain what the hell they were playing at in The Wheel in Space.

But this time round there's no such cyber-lunacy thankfully. They lurk and menace, and although the precredits sequence makes it clear that the threat of the week is Cyber-based, the story nicely follows the Doctor working out, piece by piece, clue by clue, what they are up to.

However the real darkness doesn't come from the silver giants, but the thread of melancholy running throughout the episode. Although there is plenty of fun to be had in the Doctor bantering with Craig and mingling with humanity again, there's a sense of time running out, as the fate we know is waiting for the Doctor next week begins to cast a long sonorous shadow over this little adventure. And this is more than just plot foreshadowing touches, the fact that this may be the Doctor's last house call is woven into the emotional fabric of the story. It's beautifully written and superbly played by Smith and Corden.

Now I do have a small niggle with this episode which I'll wont mention here. Partly as it's a big spoiler and also partly I'll have to watch this one again to be sure. However I will tackle this in the forthcoming spoiler zone review. Other than that though it's gold jammy dodgers all round for this outing!

Of course this episode comes with two implicit big questions. Firstly "Is this a stealth Part One of the series finale?" and secondly "Do we learn anymore about the connection between the Silence and that mysterious pseudo-TARDIS seen in the Lodger?".

But this being a spoiler-free review I can answer neither. However, let's just say that by the time the credits roll, there are plenty of pieces on game for next week's endgame...

DOCTOR WHO - The God Complex Spoiler Zone

2011-09-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

Shh! Spoilers sweetie!

Now then, although I think I pretty much covered all the important stuff in my spoiler free review, I couldn't let this episode pass by without having a closer look at it. And why? Well it's got a bloody Minotaur in it for a start!

And aside from a long standing love of these fabled man-beasts of Grecian myth (thank you the Ladybird's Famous Legends Book 1), the Minotaur is subject to an unofficial and somewhat jokey fan rule of Doctor Who. And this states, rather bluntly, that any story with a Minotaur in it is shit!

Previous to The God Complex, this legendary monster has appeared three times in Who history, and it is fair to say that the results haven't exactly been the show's finest hours. The first Minotaur appearance was in The Mind Robber, a second Doctor adventure which saw the TARDIS crew marooned in the Land of Fiction, where they encountered a whole slew of characters and creatures from stories, including our bull-headed friend, Medusa, Gulliver, Rapunzel and a comic hero from the future the Karkus who appears to be an uncanny prediction of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Now I quite like The Mind Robber, however its surreal and quirky nature make it something of a love it or hate it affair. However as the Minotaur only appears briefly, it's also true to say that generally fans weren't thinking of this story when the 'rule' was coined. Oh no, it was the horrors of the following two tales that featured the Minotaur more heavily that inspired it.

In the Third Doctor adventure The Time Monster, we had a confusing story involving Atlantis, Chronovores and the Master executing a rather dubious evil scheme and making a right TOMTIT of himself. On the plus side, we have the legendary Ingrid Pitt as the Queen of Atlantis, Dave 'the body of Darth Vader' Prowse as the Minotaur, and this serial added much to the mythology of the show. On the downside though, we have a plot that makes little sense and the lead monster, Kronos the Chronovore, looks like a bizarre chicken-chess piece hybrid constructed by origami.

Knight takes bishop! Fold along dotted line! Cluck!

However with its cult favourite casting and a truly bonkers storyline, The Time Monster can be said to possess a certain charm. Which is more than can be said of the next Homo Bovine outing, The Horns of Nimon...

On now paper, I'm sure this Fourth Doctor adventure looked like fried gold - essentially being the Theseus myth transplanted into outer space. However what reached the screen was a bored looking Tom Baker mucking about in the same six foot of dull white corridors over and over again, and annoying the titular Nimons, a race of disco-galactic Minotaurs in platform heels. Yes, a promising idea not so much let down as ruthlessly torpedoed by a grand slam of poor script, direction, design and performances. And it's no surprise that this serial regularly features in the round-ups of the worst Who story ever made.

However what is very surprising is that The God Complex turned out to be a sequel of sorts to this much (and rightly) maligned story. But more shocking still was that this cousin of the Nimon tale actually was a rather decent outing for the Eleventh Doctor! Proof, I guess, that rules are made to be broken and that you can teach on old dog new tricks.

Say oops upside your head! Oops upside your head!

But that wasn't the only surprise in store; for all those not familiar with the horrors of the Nimon (oh you lucky breed!), the big shocker was the departure of Rory and Amy. Now obviously this revelation set many viewers all of a flutter, as although the previous episodes had seemingly been laying the ground for them leaving, it was something of surprise for them to go right now.

However others were less convinced that this was really their departure from the show. After all, both Arthur Davrill and Karen Gillan had said recently in interviews that they would be back for the next series. However to keep the big secret under wraps, they naturally would say that! And earlier there had been speculation that they would leave at the end of the current series following announcements of the pair's future acting commitments which appeared to rule out them having the time to film Doctor Who.

Now I don't think we've seen the last of the Ponds, and it's a safe bet that they will be back for the final episode of this season The Wedding of River Song at the very least. However I tend to think that perhaps their travels in the TARDIS are over and that after the finale it might be just be the odd guest appearance now and again when the Doctor drops by. Certainly I have the impression, that this time time our Time Lord hero may make more of an effort to visit these particular old friends.

Then again with Mr Moffat in charge, there's all sorts of timey-wimey means by which they could reappear. And I think it's also a very safe bet that the final episode of this series will feature a fair few twists and turns. For example, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that River Song is not actually Melody Pond and than Amy and Rory will leave again with a babe in arms to raise...

I Wear My Stars On My Sleeve...

2011-09-23T02:19:00.000-07:00

Once again, the Mystic Ones foretell your fortunes for the coming week... allegedly...

Stars On My Sleeve (mp3)

THE FADES Episode 1

2011-09-21T15:19:00.001-07:00

I see dead people... but no spoilers

So then what is the The Fades? Well, it's a new six part series, airing on BBC3, and promising to serve up spooky chills and thrills.

Now I'd seen the trails and obviously being a horror buff, I booked my spot on the sofa. However also it's fair to say that I wasn't holding out high hopes. Firstly because BBC3's output, as one of the more experimental arms of the Auntie Beeb, can be rather hit and miss. And indeed, horror television series in general tends to be a risky proposition. For every hit like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, there's a dire miss like Demons. And indeed, the fact that I gleaned from the promos that The Fades would feature a young cast did bring back bad memories of that latter series.

However on the plus side, it appeared to be a serial rather than an episodic show, which is usually a better footing for horror on television, as a multi-part story avoids the main pitfall of becoming a monster of the week circus. But also BBC3 had scored a previous success in this area with Toby Whithouse's Being Human, a series about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost living together in a house. And despite sounding like the set-up for an old joke, Being Human served up an entertaining brew of drama and horror, leavened with a twist of dark humour.

Now I went into the world of The Fades pretty much blind - yes, I'd seen the trails but they just gave the flavour rather than masses of detail - and I'd recommend you do the same. So I'm not going to tell you much about the show other than it concerns ghosts. But ghosts with an intriguing twist, and judging from this opening episode, a whole mythology which we are going to discover as the weeks progress. Writer Jack Thorne has clearly thought out his world in detail and presents us with the ideal balance of interesting character work and plot hints to guarantee you'll be tuning in next week. However that's not to say this is a slow-burn starting episode - The Fades hits the ground running and crams alot into its first hour.

Now, what I can tell without giving anything away is that The Fades is cut from similar cloth to Being Human- we have the same high standards of writing, acting and direction, and a similar approach of rooting its fantastic and macabre events in believable characters and kitchen-sink realism. However the big difference is that The Fades, although not afraid of a little wit, is a far darker story. And while Being Human earns its horror credentials by being viscerally gory, The Fades is going for the more subtle creepy approach; it's clearly going for the fear factor and is aiming to be a show that scares its viewers.

And that my friends is a very refreshing change for a horror television series, for unlike all the series referenced above, and a great more others too, The Fades isn't about having fun with supernatural monsters. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's good to have series that is actively seeking to make its viewers anxious to turn out the lights. There are some marvellously eerie scenes in this first chapter and also some high strange imagery that will linger in the imagination. And the fact that all of this is occurring in a recognisable ordinary corner of contemporary Britain and being witnessed by down to earth and well observed characters give these weird and spooky moments all the more weight.

If this first episode is anything to go by we may well be in for a real treat this Autumn...

DRACULA EXISTS OR NOT?

2011-09-21T01:46:00.000-07:00

So asked some anonymous soul on Formspring...

Now obviously the quick answer would be ‘No!’

But that’s not very entertaining and, more to the point, not strictly accurate...

For as many of you probably already know, there was a real life Dracula - Prince Vlad III of Wallchia. Classed as on the great monsters of history, this 15th century Prince was famous for his cruelty and brutality, particularly his penchant for impaling his enemies on long poles, hence is his popular sobriquets of or Vlad Tepes or Vlad the Impaler. However it should be noted that some historians have pointed out that many of the accounts of his atrocities were penned by his enemies and therefore it is possible that Prince Vlad is the victim of a Middle Ages smear campaign. Indeed in Romania, he is still considered a national hero for defending his lands against invasions and incursions by the Ottoman Empire.

Also it should be noted that his second name is not a surname but an honorific. His father Vlad II was inducted into the Order of the Dragon, an elite order of knights and hence became known as Vlad Dracul - ‘dracul’ being a translation of ‘dragon’ into his native tongue. And therefore ‘Dracula’ simply means ‘son of the dragon’, as Vlad III very much took followed in his father’s footsteps, vigorously defending the country against all aggressors.

However while this Dracula certainly existed, the waters become murky when we considered the character who bears his name. Now Bram Stoker originally called his famous villain ‘Count Wamphyr’, however in the course of his researches he came across the history of the Wallachian Prince, and as ‘dracul’ can also be translated as ‘devil’, Dracula leapt out as a far more fitting perfect name for his Satanic vampire.

But ever since the popular imagination became aware of the historical Dracula, largely through In Search of Dracula by Radu Florescu and Raymond McNally in 1972, the two figures, one real and one fictional, have become confused. Many have assumed that Stoker’s Count is meant to be Prince Vlad III, still living on as a vampire, and indeed many versions of the Dracula story have made this connection explicitly, most famously Francis Ford Coppola’s mendaciously titled Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992).

Stoker does have a reference to the infamous 15th Century noble, in Chapter 3 the Count tells Harker -

Who was it but one of my own race who as Voivode crossed the Danube and beat the Turk on his own ground? This was a Dracula indeed! Woe was it that his own unworthy brother, when he had fallen, sold his people to the Turk and brought the shame of slavery on them! Was it not this Dracula, indeed, who inspired that other of his race who in a later age again and again brought his forces over the great river into Turkey-land; who, when he was beaten back, came again, and again, though he had to come alone from the bloody field where his troops were being slaughtered, since he knew that he alone could ultimately triumph!

Later on Van Helsing in the novel more or less confirms that this ancestor he speaks of is highly probably a case of the Count indulging in that old immortal’s trick of attributing one’s own past deeds to a forebear.

However while there are parallels between the Count and Vlad III’s histories, this does not make them necessarily one and the same. For scholars are still arguing over how much Stoker actually knew about the historical Vlad. We know for certainly one of the books he used for research mentioned “Voivode Dracula” and his battles with the Turks but little else. Hence in the novel there is no reference to his first name being Vlad or his position as a Prince and national ruler.

Furthermore Stoker appears to show this limited knowledge of the historical Dracula when Van Helsing reveals the Count’s origins. Yes, you read that right - it’s a little known and much overlooked fact that Stoker does reveal an origin story for the Master Vampire. We learn that he has made a pact with the Devil, attending the legendary Scholomance, a secret academy where the Dark Lord teaches a select few students the secrets of magic. According to Transylvanian folklore, the Devil takes on ten students to tutor, and in chapter 18, we are told -

The Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his due.

And in chapter 23, Van Helsing says of Count Dracula -

He dared even to attend the Scholomanse, and there was no branch of knowledge of his time that he did not essay

The implication is that the Count is the tenth student who has become the Devil’s pawn in the world. However what is interesting is that the first quote seems to show that Stoker was unaware of how powerful the historical Draculas were; rather than a royal house, they are depicted as a merely aristocratic line.

However some scholars have noted further connections - that Stoker’s description of his vampire villain seems to tally with portraits of Vlad and the fact that the stake through the heart appears to be an ironic a take on Vlad’s preferred method of execution.

However in the case of the former, the text’s description equally matches the stereotypical Victorian villain, all arched eyebrows and long moustache, and also Stoker’s employer Sir Henry Irving who the author wished to play Dracula in the stage adaption of the novel.

As for the staking, firstly this is a method of vampire destruction common in Eastern European folklore. And secondly although the vampirised Lucy Westernra is dispatched in this manner, the Count himself has his throat cut and is stabbed through the heart with a Bowie knife.

Now the case can be made either way, but personally this writer tends to the view that Stoker only had limited knowledge of Prince Vlad, and so while his vampire Count has some elements inspired by history, Vlad III wasn’t the sole source of inspiration from the Count, as Stoker’s use of the Scholomanse shows. And certainly there is no evidence or even rumours of the historical Vlad rising from the grave to suck the blood of the living.

So then to recap, historical Dracula existed but certainly wasn’t a vampire. Stoker’s Count of course is a literary creation and therefore doesn’t exist...

...Or does he? In the strange world of quantum mechanics, there is the highly weird Many Worlds Interpretation. Now, without becoming entangled in the complexity of this field of physics, basically the Many World Interpretation holds that whenever there is a choice in the universe, it splits into two different realities where each possible outcome happens. Now a great number of these branching off worlds differ only from ours in the position of one particle, however some have theorised that the range of branching universes is pretty much infinite, with every possible variation happening.

So as well as worlds with larger changes, such as scifi staples such as universes where Hitler won the Second World War and the Roman Empire never fell, some theorists have postulated that wilder universes exist where the laws of nature operate differently.

And hence as the range of possible worlds is infinite, somewhere in the multiverse there are universes where not only magic and legendary creatures exist, but where Hogwarts and Middle Earth are real. And naturally in an infinite multiverse where every possible world is played out, there will be not only one where the events Stoker’s Dracula occurred as historical events, but worlds where every version of Dracula, from the Universal version of the story, to comics like Tomb of Dracula, and even Z-grade movies like Zoltan Hound of Dracula, have actually happened!

So then if the Many Worlds Interpretation should prove to be correct, then not only does Stoker’s Dracula exist somewhere in the multiverse, but every Dracula - Lugosi, Carradine, Lee, Langela, Jordan, Oldman and all the rest - exists!

However the arcana of modern physics aside, finally we should note there are profound philosophical issues raised by the question of whether Dracula exists. For example, does ‘exists’ mean the same as ‘real’, and how do we measure or define either quality? Stoker’s Count never walked upon this earth, yet there are reams of print, miles of celluloid, and endless conversations about him. Is a concept or an idea as real as an actual person? Does the fact that Dracula only exists as fiction make him any less actual than existing in the flesh? Strictly speaking if he didn’t exist at all, in any form, neither the question or this answer would exist.

Personally I feel that defining actuality or reality purely in terms of physical objects is a dangerous business, for so much of what we are, our thoughts, emotions and memories, and so much of what makes us human, such as notions of art, love, humour and justice, only exist in the same abstract realm as fiction.

Of course none of the above can quite explain why after receiving this question, for the last three nights legions of web-winged bats gather about the house after sunset or why I have seen a red eyed, coal-black hound of monstrous proportions sat waiting in the midnight shadows of the garden...

Regarding the Statement of Randolph Carter

2011-09-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

Illustration by PICKMANS-MODEL

The SFFaudio Podcast #126 – a complete and unabridged reading of The Statement Of Randolph Carter by H.P. Lovecraft, read by Wayne June (from the Audio Realms collection The Dark Worlds Of H.P. Lovecraft – Volume 3), followed by a discussion of the story. Participants include Jesse, Scott, Tamahome, Jenny Colvin (of the Reading Envy blog) and Mr. Jim Moon (of Hypnogoria.com).

Click here to download the show!

HYPNOBOBS 47 - What Was It?

2011-09-18T02:16:00.000-07:00

By the fireside of the Great Library of Dreams, Mr Jim Moon reads a seminal genre crossing tale of invisible terrors, What Was It? by Fitz-James O'Brien.

HYPNOBOBS 47 (direct download)

HYPNOBOBS FEED (RSS)

HYPNOBOBS on iTunes

Or visit us in our shiny new home at GeekPlanetOnline

DOCTOR WHO 6.11 - The God Complex

2011-09-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

Scanners indicate an absence of spoilers

First off, the very important stuff - if you've not seen this episode, as your attorney I strongly advise you avoid being spoilered at all costs! Seriously don't let the goblins of the internet ruin the big surprise in this one. If fact there's two shockers, one which catch all viewers off-guard and another that will greatly amuses fans immersed in the lore and history of the show.

And obviously I'm saying nothing more on the subject, though there will be a spoiler review of this episode coming in the next few days. But on to the bits I can safely tell you about...

Now I'm assuming you've seen the trailers, blurb and whatnot... Oh, you haven't? Well, in a nutshell, this is another good one, now run along secure in your ignorance towards the surprise of this tale...

Ok, so everyone else, you lot already know that The God Complex is set in a creepy hotel where spooky things happen in the rooms. You probably also know this episode is written by Toby Whithouse, who previously gave us School Reunion in Series 2 and Vampires in Venice last year. Plus this week we've got a guest star in the shape of comedian David Walliams. And the very sharp eyed among you will have spotted an old enemy in the NEXT WEEK trailer last week.

So let's address those points in order. Firstly, yes it is creepy - I mean just look at the picture above for Cliff's sake! However this isn't an exercise in just trading on tired and true fears and phobia like Night Terrors, although there is an element of that obviously. Rather The God Complex is more weird and unsettling, delivering the kind of strangeness that David Lynch has made his own. But even that's not the full monty, as what propels the storyline is a solid mystery that is unravelled clue by clue and I must say it's good to see the Doctor had to work to piece the puzzle together.

All of which brings nicely to our second point... Mr Whithouse's writing. Now I enjoyed School Reunion a fair bit but Vampires in Venice left be slightly underwhelmed. And as I remarked in my review of that episode, I'd have liked to see some of the depth and flair he has demonstrated in his own show Being Human. Well folks, with The God Complex I got my wish - we not only have a solidly thought through tale but also a story that makes all kinds of emotional and symbolic connections between it plot points and the emotions of the characters. It is, if you'll pardon the pun, a complex episode, and for my money not only the best of the three adventures he's penned so far, but a darn fine outing all round. Additional kudos to director Nick Hurran who brings this challenging story to screen with real flourish.

Now then, going into the this one, I'm sure I was not alone in feeling slightly apprehensive when I saw we had a guest comedian onboard. For we all remember what happened last time... Yes, the shadow of Love And Monsters runs dark and deep. However in fairness, the wince making moments in that episode weren't Peter Kay's fault, but I've ragged on Russell T Davies enough in the last few weeks... And deservedly so I might add... The bloody Blessing! Honestly! I'd slap him so fast it would n't even be funny...

*Ahem* moving swiftly on... where was I?

Oh yes, having a comedian as a guest star. Well, I'm pleased to report that David Walliams put in a fantastic turn as the rabbity in more ways than one alien Gibbis. On first encountering this character, you think they are playing to the actor's strengths and that Gibbis is the comic relief. After all, his backstory is delightfully redolent of the humour of Douglas Adams and the sideways scifi satire of prime era 2000 AD. However as the episode unfolds, we discover that there a lot more to Gibbis than serving up some light relief. And Walliams shines even under the layers of latex.

So then to the last point. Yes, they are back. But there's also a fair few other familiar faces in The God Complex too. And I honestly can't say any more...

So then to wrap this up, The God Complex is a cracking tale. It delivers a fascinating mixture - there's horror, there's scifi, and a mystery to be solved. There's some laughter, some chills and a lot of heart... All the best elements of Doctor Who in an attractive sinister hotel shaped package.

The Stars Wit Attitude!

2011-09-16T02:27:00.000-07:00

Beaming directly from the outer voids, the Voice of the Mystic Ones (distant brother of Captain Scarlet's Mysterons by the sounds of it) deliver your stars for the week...

The Stars Wit Attitude! (mp3)

Be sure to listen right to the end, as Pisces is a belter this week....

TORCHWOOD: MIRACLE DAY Episode 10 - The Blood Line

2011-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

456 Classification - Thank the Lord! It's over!

Well, we got here at last! And I must say that writing these weekly reviews has turned into something of a war of attrition, where every seven days I've had to struggle to find new and amusing ways of saying 'this storyline's broken!". And so for that reason alone, I minded to be kindly about this final episode...

...Of course I bloody well won't! But it has to be said that The Blood Line IS an improvement on The Gathering - well as far as it is possible to make any improvement in the grand finale of a story that hinges around a massive rude looking gash in Mother Earth.

But there are some positives all the same. Firstly this closing chapter manages to have Jack and Gwen both on top form and doing what they do best, and at the same time unlike many of the previous instalments where we've have had one but not the other doing anything interesting. Secondly there is a rather neat extended confrontation with the Families' agents. I must admit I didn't see the blood switch trick Rex pulled coming and we had some real proper tension building in this stand-off over over two continents.

And thirdly, and possibly the most welcome, was the fact that considering this was a Russell T Davies finale, it was played out in a rather simple and restrained fashion rather than hurling everything the FX wizards can muster at the screen in a swirling maelstrom of logic defying plot holes.

But of course that's not to say that this episode wasn't thoroughly riddled with nonsense. Oh come on, don't look surprised! This is still an RTD script after all! Because if you were you looking for an explanation for the Blessing, forget it! Now, I'm not adverse to story tellers leaving a gap filled with mystery sometimes, and arguably the giant stone labia could qualify. However the scant details we do get about it, notably that it's two ends act as some species of morphic poles, only serves to increase the idiocy of the concept.

Now I could have bought the polar thing if they hadn't shown us a computer model that clearly shows that the colossal crack is off centre - tracing a point from Buenos Aires to Shanghai gives you a line that doesn't pass through the core of the earth . So while this may help some viewers reconcile its existence with small barriers to belief such as the entire field of geophysics, having a pole that doesn't pass through the centre of the earth - i.e .it's not a pole - only replaces the first foolishness with an equally massive hurdle to credibility.

Similarly the reveal that the Families plan to wreck the world with immortality in order to rebuilt it in their own image is similarly half-baked. As we're told they are effectively the secret puppet masters of the world anyway, did they really need this elaborate plot in the first place? Yes, they get immortality but honestly the Miracle isn't really worth having - eternal life coming with eternal pain and aging. But most damningly, we discover at the very end that this whole charade was just 'a trial run'... So effectively the whole Miracle was pretty much a colossal waste of everyone's time. Including yours.

Similarly the end of Dane's plot thread also proves how useless he was a character. Now don't get me wrong, I've really enjoyed Bill Pullman's performances, but in the end the character has been fraught with problems and ultimately serves no real purpose. And indeed how this finale plays out only serves to highlight how irrelevant the majority of what has gone before has been.

Seeing at last how the Miracle Day storyline concludes, I am inclined to suspect that is was originally planned as a five part affair and them clumsily expanded. And that would certainly explain a great deal about the many and varied dead ends and blind alleys the narrative has took us down. But I believe I have harped on about the poor story structure more than enough in previous reviews, so then let's skip to the end.

I doubt many are going to happy with the fact that Davies chooses to kill off Esther, who appeared to strike a chord with most viewers, instead of Rex, who everyone has decried as having all the depth of a cardboard cut-out. And then to add insult to injury, he makes 'the assholey one' of the team immortal. Yes, having Jack's blood as somehow infected Rex with the Captain's same indestructible nature. Insert your own stream of tired, bitter abuse here...

...And the stage is also conveniently left wide open for another series. Or to be rather less charitable, there's a whole mess of plot threads left flapping for another season. And I have to say that the prospect of another ten episodes like this fills me with more tension and dread than the entirety of Miracle Day managed in its frustrating two and half month lifespan.

Now I don't hate Torchwood, and even the messy disappointment this series turned out to be doesn't make me want to see the show vanish forever. Indeed I used to enjoy the series and I still believe the format has potential (and if you want to hear how I'd fix it check out HYPNOBOBS 46 - Torchopsy). However at the same time, I rather suspect that this debacle may well have cooked the Torchwood goose, and what's so galling is that it is the show's own creator who has served up the sauce. And with Starz seemingly not rushing to stump up for another series, the ultimate irony of Miracle Day is that while the world became immortal, the show may have expired...

Reviews of previous episodes can be found here

Also don't miss HYPNOBOBS 46 - Torchopsy! for more Torchwood talk!

INSIDIOUS - Devilishly Good or Diabolically Derivative?

2011-09-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

With Insidious worming it way to you on DVD and Blu Ray soon, it's high time we unravelled the complicated charge of whether this movie is a great ghost story in it's own right or just an unoriginal Frankensteinian patchwork of stolen pieces...

Click here to jump into the spoiler-heavy discussion

And find my original review here

HYPNOBOBS 46 - Torchopsy!

2011-09-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

In an impromptu off the hip episode, Mr Jim Moon dissects the history of Torchwood and answers a listener's query on how he would make it better!

Find it HERE !

The new feed for HYPNOBOBS can be found - HERE

And it's on iTunes too - HERE

Or visit us in our shiny new home at GeekPlanetOnline